Remember that 'French Erotic Film' song, sung by a grumpy man? That guy does a lot of funny songs.
He has a parody of Eminem's Stan (or actually a parody of a parody of that) where somebody asks him if it isn't dangerous to call while driving. He replies that he's calling handsfree, so he can lit a cigar, open a can of beer, read the paper...
So I nominate that.
-calling handsfree so you can lit a cigar, open a can of beer and read the paper.