Lol. The one about the divorce, and Kuwait were great!
Here's one I remember, but it's pretty old...
There were 5 passengers on a plane about to crash in the Pacific. The passengers were Hillary Clinton, The Pope, Kobe Bryant, George Bush, and a boyscout. There was enough time to escape, but the problem was that there were only 4 parachutes.
Kobe Bryant said, "I'm famous and the city of Los Angeles is depending on me to make 3 pointers." So Kobe took the first parachute and jumped off.
Next George Bush said, "I would give it up, but I'm the president and I have to lead a nation." Soon George got the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.
Afterwards Hillary Clinton grabbed one and said, "I'm more important than you guys, because I'm the former first lady, now a senator, and also the smartest women on earth!" She jumped out of the plane laughing at the 2 others.
Now only The Pope and the boyscout were left. The pope said, "I'm an old man and since I'm a Christian, it's my duty to give it to you."
"You don't need to stay onboard, the boyscout said, the smartest women on earth just took my backpack."