[manasecret]

I have tried to be a lot more "mean" in my life by being vocally honest. I find being vocally honest is much more healthy and in the end better for all parties.

I try not to be malicious about it, such as trying to force your opinion on someone. It's not about being right, just about being honest to your thoughts and emotions. And, again, I stress being vocally honest, because in many cases you can lie by being silent.

For example, Angrist, your not telling the girl what you really think about her mild response to your (supposedly) generous offer is a lie by silence. A lie slips through when you stay silent.

It's hard to be honest and also not to be a dick. For example, with your friend's hair. It's easy for being honest in that case to turn into being malicious. If you're careful you can say something about his hair and not completely insult him. But things like that, shallow things like how someone looks, where your opinion doesn't really matter in the end, I think it's ok to be silent on. What do you or he really gain by you telling him you think his haircut is absolutely awful? That advice also goes well with significant others.

I am trying to be more honest for sure. But I am usually terrible at it, and tend to stay silent more often than not. But I have made some progress.