[KillerGremlin]

I was born and raised Catholic. I have been going to church for many, many years. And, as I child, I absorbed faith with little care. Eventually, I reached a point where I lost a lot of faith, I didn't feel that my life had any particular purpose and I didn't understand how faith or spirituality could possibly exist in a world so cruel and empty. Well, in the past 2 or 3 years I have slowly felt a gradual awakening to life and faith. I have met someone, and I have felt what I believe is true love and compassion. I have also gotten older, and in the past few months I have began to contemplate my mortality and my life.

I come from a fairly strong foundation in science. Based on what I have learned and have seen, it appears that things like evolution do hold truths. Also, it seems that the earth is easily older than 6000 years. However, as Xantar pointed out, I'm not sure how important these facts are in reference to the bible. Nowhere in the bible does it spell out that the earth is 6000 years old, it has just been conjectured based on the dates in the bible.

I've tried to incorporate some philosophies and thoughts into my search.

One philosophical path I am having trouble coping with is the purpose of life. Let's say the only purpose of life is to eat, sleep, reproduce and die. Then why do humans feel compassion and love? Why do we have the feelings that we have, why do we question life? Some argue that our fear of death is evolutions greatest defense mechanism against death, but I disagree. I feel that if our place in life was soley to eat, sleep, reproduce, die, and evolve; I feel that there would be no need for compassion, love, or any of that.

My biggest flaw is that much like Neo I feel that I need to find evidence. I guess that completely nullifies the point of faith. And, in my mind the evidence is there. We have historical figures and prophets; people like Moses, Abraham and Jesus. And that is a definitive start.

I don't buy into Near Death Experiences, as it has been hypothesized and will most likely be proven that right before death your penal gland secretes large amounts of DMT. DMT is a powerful psychoactive substance, and it has been suggested that it is responsible for the things people have seen during NDEs.

One thing is for certain however; I feel that modern science, and especially physicists are walking a fine line between knowledge and arrogance. I believe it is the height of human arrogance to assume any definitive answer as to why the universe is. Quantum mechanics has been offered as an explanation as to how we think and why a planet with life could exist amid such chaos. They even have theories as to what happened when Time < 0, or before the big bang. Apparently some scientists hypothesize that there are multiple universes, and that they collide, and that all sorts of zany shit happens ever few billions or trillions of years. And, to that I ask, "Why? How?"

Science is the study of how things work. With science, we can analyze systems and based on how that system behaves we can establish a set of rules for analyzes future systems. However, science has yet to answer the "why."

Either way, I won't know and you won't know until it happens. And when it happens we may or may not know. But for me, these past few years have been a sort of spiritual awakening, and I'm starting to find faith in God again.

Maybe my search will last me till my final days on earth, and maybe it will only last me for a few years. But I hope that I can make peace with life sooner than later.