Quote:
Originally posted by Angrist
Hold your doubloons, it's not finished yet.
Could someone check if I made any mistakes in this 'English specialisation' as we call it?? Thanks!
This is the first part:
Summaries
The Hobbit
Hobbits are creatures who love peace and quiet and good-tilled earth: a well-ordered and well-farmed countryside is their favourite haunt. They look like human beings, they're just a bit smaller; about three feet tall.
Bilbo lives in a village named Hobbiton leading a quiet life in a Hobbit-hole. One day Gandalf, an old Wizard, arrives at Bilbo's home, and with him come thirteen Dwarves. Gandalf and Thorin, the leader of the Dwarves, want him to come with them to regain a large pile of gold that the Dwarves once lost to an evil Dragon named Smaug. Many adventures befall Bilbo, who wishes more than once that he was just at home in his nice hole by the fire.
The Lord of the Rings
On his journey with the Dwarves, Bilbo Baggins found a magic ring that could make him invisible. He never told anyone about it, and few beside Gandalf know of it.
On his 111th birthday party, he gives the ring to Frodo, his nephew, and leaves to live with the Elves.
Years later, Gandalf discovers that this is The One Ring, the powerful, evil Ring created centuries ago by the Dark Lord Sauron. The power of the Ring is so incredible, that if Sauron regained it, he would be stronger than ever!
Gandalf sends Frodo and his best friend Sam on a mission to destroy the Ring in the fire in which it was made; this being the only way to destroy it.
The Lord of the Rings is 'a story magnificently told, with every kind of colour and movement and greatness'.
The Silmarillion
The Silmarilli were three perfect jewels, fashioned by Feänor, most gifted of the Elves, and within the was imprisoned the last Light of the Two Trees of Valinor. When the first Dark Lord, Morgoth, stole the jewels and set them within an iron crown in the impenetrable fortress of Angband, Feänor and his kindred took up arms against the great Enemy and waged a long and terrible war to recover them.
The Silmarillion tells the story of the rebellion by Feänor's allies against the gods, their exile from Valinor and return to Middle-Earth. It is the history of the heroic First Age in Tolkien's world, the ancient drama long before the time of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings.
Could you tell me how I could improve it?? I have to give it to my teacher in about 10 hours, so...
Thanks!
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well first sentence should read like this
peace, quiet and good tilled earth. also i think there should be a semicolon ( ; ) or whatever you call it after earth.
ALSo on that same line a well farmed and order country side should be there...........it flows better, plus there is no need to use 'well' twice.
"Bilbo lives in a village named Hobbiton leading a quiet life in a Hobbit-hole."
You might want to rehase that sentence, although it isn't that bad.
"arrives at Bilbo's home, and with him come thirteen Dwarves"
arrives at Bilbo's home with thirteen Dwarves accompaning him.
"made; this being the only way to destroy it"
this is the only method/way to destroy it
", with every kind of colour and movement and greatness'. "
kind of colour, movement and greatness.
"most gifted of the Elves"
The most gifted...
"and within the was imprisoned the last Light of the Two Trees of Valinor"
I think your missing a word here....it may be rings or jewels not sure but I know your missing a word.
Well that's one done.....these are suggestions they are not corrections you don't have to take them into consideration or change your story if you don't want to.....now onto the next one.