[Typhoid]

Remember when phones made calls?

Now it's like that's last on the list.

"This phone can store up to 60 hours of music, 13 hours of playback, 42 year battery life, come sin blue, pink, green, red, mauve, magenta, it ahs a 14 megasuper pixel camera with a shutter speed that can capture a humminbirds wings in each stroke, you can send a fax, email, voice mail, picture message, text message, video message, surf the internet, customize your browser, download ringtones, record sound, use MS paint, make waffles, colour coordinate your laundry, write notes, it has a calender, it doubles as a watch, it's a valued paper-weight, you can watch TV, record videos and send them to people, receive your house mail, walks the dog, cleans the catbog and works better than oxyclean and CLR combined."

"Well....can....can it make calls?"

"'Calls'? 'Calls'? What the **** is a 'call'? Hey Jimmy, this guy wants to know if his Protoplazmr 23t100 phone can make calls! What are you living in, 2002? Of course it can't make calls."