[Neo]

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly.

Pay me a compliment.'


The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'


He never heard the shot....

***************************************************

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and

shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!'


The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?'


'Doesn't matter,' she said.'Just get the hell out.'