Not bad, but...
Quote:
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“This fella’s all beat up.” The waitress laughed.
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I'm not a big fan of the word laughed in this context...I think you could play with it a bit.
Not bad, keep writing, keep posting....you know.
I haven't written creatively, for fun, in a while. My last stab at creative writting was a mock-serious paragraph that actually makes fun of the truth, and it turned out this:
While not necessarily pro or con on the subject of the consumption of alcohol at parties, I feel that if more females felt compelled to partake in the activity that I would find myself in a disposition to not complain. Of course, there is many a bylaw that must be implemented in order to sustain maximum pleasure - particularly - no ugmos or fatties. This social uprising, that is the consumption of alcohol during the course of a party, yields peculiar results. We find that females are more inclined to sing and dance: every, and any, song will become the female's personal favorite. Females also acquire a notion to elevate themselves - be it on a couch, table, or bar - and dance. This dancing usually isn't very coordinated and often segues into the female removing her garments, in a particularly seductive fashion. Another curious trend is the notion to make sexual advances on another drunk female. This may result in careless kissing or gracious foreplay. Without a doubt, alcohol acts as a sort of catalyst, turning noisey, draggy, or shy females into rambling, dancing idiots. Thus, after spending a considerable amount of time indulged in research, I feel that promoting alcohol consumption to females at parties is not only a necessity to a good party, but a commendable way to improve one's night. So drink up gals!