For no reason I just started writing these.
As I posted them on Livejournal as well.
But I mean, they really serve no point. And I hightly doubt anyone will read them in full. Just getting past the third one. And giving up.
I felt the need to post them.
And they arent poetry in any way.
Just stupid pointless random attempts at obvious stupid comedy. (at times)
Quote:
To me love and drugs are the same thing.
Both make you totally euphoric for the time you have them.
They make you feel above those around you.
Like you're special.
Like you have something they dont.
They make you utterly happy, for the stupidest reasons.
You can be entertained by touching someones wrist.
You laugh at every word you hear.
And both leave you with a gaping hole of regret.
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Some relationships come out of nowhere.
Stalking.
Waiting.
Watching.
Like a tiger.
Then they pounce and rip out your heart and make you wish you never said "hello".
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When a girl likes a boy, she tells her girlfriends.
But when a boy likes a girl, he tells himself he's been through pain before.
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They say everyone has a perfect person.
But what if there isnt?
What if you dont meet that person?
Or are in a bad mood and say the wrong thing?
Will it work out in the end because you're meant to be?
What if you stayed in bed that morning because you're sick?
What if everyone doesnt have a perfect person?
And its all just a big lie to make us feel comfortable.
What if there's an odd number of people alive?
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This routine feels like a knife.
Slowly cutting the bread that just came from the store.
It's good on the outside.
But slow.
And boring.
And each little piece is crushed and ruined.
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If time doesnt really exist.
Why does it take so long to get a stamp at the office?
Why is everything dictated by invisible numbers.
Instead of dinosaurs.
At least they'd kill us faster.
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Mankind is the smartest animal on the planet.
We've taken over the earth.
And claimed it our own.
We've pushed other animals aside.
So we can kill them.
And make byproducts from foreskin and hooves.
So if we're so smart.
Why cant we learn to not immitate seals.
To not get eaten by sharks.
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Most of us waste our life in school.
Learning things we'll never know.
We get in trouble for missing things we have no intent on using.
Like Chemistry.
Geology.
Math.
Then we go get jobs we dont like.
To pay for the car we think is a hunk of ****.
And fill it with gas we think is grossly overpriced.
So we can drive to the house we didnt want.
With the family we didnt plan.
Our lives are all accidents.
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If money is the root of all evil.
Why don't they make it illegal.
Everyone would be happy.
And laugh.
And sing.
And hold hands.
And respect everyone around them.
And pay in rocks.
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How old do people with memory loss think they are?
Does it cross their mind?
Do they care?
If you explained it to them.
Would they answer right away.
Or not know at all.
And laugh.
And smile.
And say "who are you?"
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Isn't it barbaric that we fight over chicken skin.
Deep fried in oil.
And breaded.
It disgusts me that we take pride in the fact skin tastes good.
I cant look people in the eye who eat chicken skin.
I just make an awkward face.
And eat my tiger penis.
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If music is said to free the soul.
Why have most of us never been released.
Surely there would be someone who has been set free.
Who knows what its like on the outside.
Maybe they're sworn to secrecy.
By our pirate overlords.
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If the english language is the hardest language to learn.
Why did I know it when I was 1.
Am I a genious.
Or are all the immigrants just stupid.
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I laugh at the fact we drove Natives from their land.
And sanctioned off the little ****ty parts of it.
So they can live in steel palaces.
And drink nectar from a can.
It's histarical we dont notice we're giving it back.
And all we can utter is "hit me".
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Why have there been no emaculate conceptions since Mary?
Was the bible all one big lie.
And we're all blindly walking off a cliff.
Like lemmings.
Without the green hair.
Or is it something more powerful than that.
Something bigger.
And greater.
And unexplainable.
Maybe God is monogamous.
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How come only spanish people can name their children "Jesus".
Only because its not pronounced the same.
What kind of loophole did they get away on.
I think I'll name my kid Jesus.
And every morning.
Before he wakes up for school.
I'll shout.
"Breakfast is ready, Ted."
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Everything has become a cliche.
The mere thought of it makes it so.
It's even what it is, in itself.
Its sort of like a machine that says "onomatopoeia".
But more people know what it is.
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Labels are everywhere.
In stores.
On cars.
And on people.
Some people dont like to be labelled.
But not me.
I want one.
And I have it.
I've always been that kid.
The one that doesnt want to be labelled.
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Abortion is a fad.
Just like pre-marital sex.
Not wearing a condom.
Hard drugs.
Skipping school.
Moving away from home to get back at your parents.
Bad music.
And pogs.
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Language is a nifty creature.
Just when you think you have it.
It evolves and changes.
Slipping past mother nature.
Proving we cant stop everything.
While we are smart.
And while we can make bombs to blow up planets.
Ebonics will get us all.
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Why does it take muscles to close your eyes.
And how can we sleep like that.
Why is that the only muscle we can clench.
And fall asleep while doing so.
Sometimes I make a fist.
And squeeze really hard.
Just to see if I can fall asleep like that.
But I always just end up masturbating intensely.
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Why are brand names so important.
In an age of laws.
And computers.
And nanomicrochips that have everything on them.
Big lips.
And fake tits.
And a divorce rate higher than the clouds.
Somewhere along the line we lost ourselves.
Because we can look at that collagen infected face.
And big tits.
And not see a brand we're familiar with.
And tell her to **** off.
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When someone is in love with you.
Why is it that's always the time we make bad decisions.
Is it because we're afraid of commitment.
We're all shallow and heartless.
Maybe we didnt like them in the first place.
Or maybe these 5 hits of acid.
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Is the government hiding aliens from us.
Other planets they're already inhabiting.
Why havent they sent out the tinfoil hats.
Or put more flouride in the water.
Why is it taking so long to bottle my urine.
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Why can people relate to music so much.
Is it the words.
Or the tempo of the music.
Maybe it's because they like the style of the band.
Or dont know how to say "no".
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Can we make ourselves nocturnal.
Never seeing sunlight.
Awake with the bats at night.
Just us and them.
Owning the streets.
I dont think I could do that.
I dont eat bugs.
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Fake girls are everywhere.
Fake Nails.
Dye.
Hair Extensions.
Wax.
Concealer.
Coverup.
Eyeliner.
Mascara.
Who are they trying to look good for.
The people who they tell to get away from them at the mall.
Or the people who dont even know they're there.
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I always hear guys ask my girl friends if size matters.
They all say it doesnt.
That its how you use it.
It's whats on the inside that counts.
But I laugh to myself.
Secretly.
Because I know.
They all have small penises.
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I dont like breast implants.
Most women dont even need them.
And want to get them just because they're self concious.
I hate them.
They make no sense to me.
Besides.
They dont compliment my figure at all.
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Breastfeeding confuses me.
It's okay for a baby to suckle a nipple.
But if I try it I get arrested.
The baby started it.
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Hold me tightly.
Wrap me in your arms.
But be careful if I jump up.
And start screaming.
And rolling on the floor.
Convusling.
Hyperventalating.
I dont mean to scare you.
But I bought a lottery ticket.
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If a deja vu is what you call something thats already happened.
Whats the name for something you havent experienced yet?
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Sometimes I poke holes in condoms.
1.
2.
9.
Then I use them.
Not because I want a family.
But I get off by poking holes in condoms.
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I wonder if there's enough time in the world.
To figure out what life is about.
Maybe the whole purpose of life.
Is to figure out what life is.
Maybe it's to die.
I bet we dont even have any purpose at all.
Maybe we're supposed to make the best waffles ever.
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I read the newspaper today.
I felt relieved.
Jut knowing the same death and destruction is still going on.
And I dont have to worry about it.
Because I'm safe in my wooden box.
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Dad told me to put on my best clothes.
That we were going out for steak.
I shined my shoes.
And put on my finest suit.
But when it came time for dinner.
I couldnt eat.
I just kept picturing.
Me clubbing that cow.
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Maybe the black market is some organized flea market.
Where everyone gets together.
To buy illegal goods.
To talk about the latest heists.
And whats going on in the world of crime.
Maybe it's just an alley run by Ronnie.
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Is it really smart to be a nudist.
Sure you're free.
And with nature.
And get to see lots of boobs.
But where do you put your sandwiches.
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I think if the meteor didnt hit.
And the ice age never happened.
We wouldnt be here.
Most people dislike gekkos and mice.
How would we deal with 20 foot lizards.
And giant hairy mice.
And Al Sharpton.
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I think all old people arent here.
They already died.
They're just still here.
Because of the collective will.
Of everyone.
Wanting them to pitch off.
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What is an accidental suicide.
Suicide is intentionally killing oneself.
Accidental is not on purpose.
Would the family be given the will money in full.
Or would they rule it suicide.
And take the money.
And run with it.
To Mexico.
Where beer is cheap.
And the roads are made of dirt and subpoenas.
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