[Yan]

Long post ahead.



I am ashamed to say that there are times when I still do not know how to differentiate between a crush/lust/infatuation and true love.

Thinking back, there were time when I was sure that I was in love. Conversation between the person in question and I flowed easily, he was intelligent, older and so wise and not to mention, gorgeous.

I was smitten, of course.

When analysed further, it all became more and more confusing. I don't know WHY I fancied him, just because he's someone that I could truly love as a person or just because I was excited by the prospect of being able to love someone that fits into my mould of what I want i.e. lust.

Even in my current relationship where we have said our 'I Love You' plenty of times, sometimes I am not sure. Of course, I care for him deeply but I do wonder if I actually love him for who he is or what I want him to be.

I hate self analysing and I feel like a downright idiot now.