No! You're evil!
Last summer, my computer room got flooded, and I was stuck in my bedroom all day long. So what did I do? Rubik's Cube, about 100 times. Did it once in 2 minutes.
But boot camp has taken away my skill. I can probably get it again, just need to remember the patterns. In the mean time, this is what you're trying to do. I wrote it long ago for another forum, give a guy a hint how to do it.
Gekko's guide to the cube:
1) Pick a side to start with, I choose white. Make a cross on top, and make sure the colors are on the correct sides.
2) Put the corners in place to finish the top layer
3) Place the edge pieces in place for the middle layer (center pieces can't be moved). Move the piece from the center position on the bottom later, to either side on the middle layer. Then the middle layer is complete.
4) Get the bottom corners in the correct spot, but the colors don't need to match up. The movement will switch the corners on the front face.
5) Get the colors in the corners to match up. The movement will move 3 corners at a time. Conclusion? Do it until only one corner is right, then keep flipping the other 3, and they will line up. then all you're left with is the edge pieces on the bottom layer.
6) For the remaining edge pieces, there is one movement that will move 3 out of the 4 of them. Get them all to their respective sides and you are left with 4 possibilities. The cube is complete, the two incorrect (color doesn't match side) pieces are next to each other, or directly across from each other, or all 4 are incorrect. Since I don't know the pattern to complete it when they are next to each other, I keep moving it around until they are across from each other. If all 4 are incorrect, it's the same pattern, you just do it twice. In other words, I go from this:
To this:
Ta da! It is complete!
Now, if you wait a little bit, when I got some free time, I can go find the patterns for you for each movement. But in the mean time, good luck.