Hmm read your prologue not bad but you need to work on a few things....
Most people prefer to make dialogue seperate from the prose of the story. It works a bit better.. You can do it either way but ...
You need to work on dia;ogue well atleast getting quotes right. You don't put a period after the quote if you will say someone said it... like
"Billy is my friend." said Marth...
You would use
"Billy is my friend," said Marth....
Other than that the prologue isn't bad and it has my favorite quality.. it's short....
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Dyne on Canada's favorite pasttime,
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I loved ramming into animals as they ran away
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