GameTavern - Scientology

I found this post at IGN a while back, and I think it describes Scientology fairly accurately. It also makes you wonder just how sane Tom Cruise really is.

Quote:

Actually they worship L Ron Hubbard, who isn't really dead. He left his body purposely and is currently the only force keeping the evil Galactic Warlord's space-fleet from destroying the Earth. Literally, I'm serious.

A long time ago, the evil Galactic Warlord put all the people from this quadrant of the galaxy on Earth. (The galaxy was overcrowded, you see. Really, that's in Hubbard's notes. Galactic overcrowding.) Then he blew them all up with H-bombs. (Again, in the notes. H-bombs, nothing more technological than that.)

Humanity is actually a race of gods, but the spirits of all those dead things cluster around our bodies and souls, making us mortal and causing every illness and sadness known to man. Scientology is basically self-hypnosis to get rid of these thousands or millions of clinging soul-things on us. Every once in awhile, you get a list of questions asked to you, and if you answer them correctly, you go up to the next level. Eventually, you become a god. Each test costs exponentially more than the rest, however. One of the higher up tests actually costs 500,000 dollars. And that isn't even for godhood, that's just a step on the way. Supposedly, there are many Scientologists who have reached a level high enough to become pseudo-gods, and can manipulate energy and matter with their minds. They haven't been observed doing this because...er... no one knows.

Their story on this is that the goverment (which is controlled by the drug corporations) is making it all up. In actuality, the higher-up Scientologists are doing miraculous things all the time, but we aren't allowed to know about it.

Also: All doctors are evil. *ESPECIALLY* psychologists, who are known as 'psychs.' They are the worst thing on the planet earth. You later learn that psychs were the ones who first implanted all those dead souls into us, and then you learn that the ultimate evil of the universe is called "Psych." (In Battlefield Earth, the bad guys are called 'Psychlos.' Coincidence? Ha.) Any illness can be overcome by use of scientology, and unraveling whichever implanted dead soul is currently causing you pain.

By the way, I personally think this should all be considered the biggest load of garbage ever. Hubbard was quoted in a press conference as saying something like "I don't write for the money, pennies a word isn't worth it. Now, if I really wanted to be rich, I'd start a religion. That's where the money is."