Marriage
 

Well, what do you think about it?

Some people are opposed to it, somr arnt.

Some people wouldnt get married to someone just because their parents disaprove, are you one of those people?

Does age matter?

What about how long you've known someone for? Does the length of the relattionship, or how long you've known someone matter?


Personally, to me, Love is love. Age means nothing. If I love someone, I love them for a reason, and nobody will say its because of how old they are. I wouldnt listen to my parents if they told me not to marry said girl, because who are they to tell me who I will or wont be happy with? And again, I dont think length of the relationship, or of how long you've known eachother for means anything, Love is love.

What are your personal thoughts?

Re: Marriage
 

I plan to marry within a year. I think knowing the person for 1 year should be enough to marry. IF you both are honest of course.

Re: Marriage
 

i think the amount of time you know someone does matter becuase people change as the relationship goes on, your partner might start taking things more seriously and act differently later on than in the beginning when it's all just fun and games...i would say a year is long enough though.

age, to me doesn't matter though...if u love the person, it shouldn't matter how old they are...as long as they're old enough :)

and no, i wouldn't listen to my parents if they told me to marry or not to marry someone...i love who i love, not who they would like me to love.

Re: Marriage
 

....i dont think ill b able to marry someone whos immature...i feel age matters....love doesnt matter the MOST in terms of marraige for me either....i guess it plays a big role in compatibility and being happy...but i dont think thats all there is to it.....*shrug*.....
i suppose waht my parents think does influence me saying i do or not....but at the end of the day i know if i convince them i know what im doing...and thats what i really want...they would let me be happy....*cross-fingers*....they just want the best for me...if they object...i bet they have a good reason to...if its ridiculous ill just get married whether they like it or not... getting married really is a bigger deal to me as compared to many....i am ready to make my choice and stick wiht it for the rest of my life....i wont ever get divorced....i dont believe in incomplete families...if i make a mistake at the beginning...ill just have to face the concequences after....divorce isnt even an option for me....

Re: Marriage
 

One year may be enough to KNOW someone deeply. However, getting married is not as simple as understanding your partner. It is also about having mortgages, balancing career and a domestic life, having children (or not) and of course, the in-laws.

Hence, I would have to say that I will not marry (consider, yes) someone regardless of how much I am in love if I am not sure if I could work out all the matters I mentioned above especially if it is financial.

Yes, it is that superficial. Love doesn't pay the bills.

With regards to the parents, I am brought up in a society where going against the wishes of your parents is considered unfillial and basically, you go to hell (eyes are rolling, I know... :lol: ). I hope I'll never have to choose but if I have to... I'll choose family.

Re: Marriage
 

:hump: ...nice ly said yan......i dont think im materialistic or superficial at all and i dont think u are either......i can support myself...no worries there....its not all about the money...but its all about sharing responsibilites...i wouldnt marry a couch potato just cuase i love him

Re: Marriage
 

I've been a bit turned away from marriage because my parents and many of my friend's parents have been divorced (isn't up to 50/50 these days?), so I guess part of me doesn't see the point of it. If you love someone, that's fine. You can live in the same house and have kids with them for as long as you want, but why do you need this superficial ceremony? The only reason I see is the legal benefits of marriage, otherwise it seems silly to me. If things don't work out, it makes the whole process about 10 times worse than it needs to be.

Re: Marriage
 

I'm definitely for marriage.

If there's one thing I'm insecure about, though, it's taxes and bills. I need a wife who can do math.

Re: Marriage
 

I tried to respond to this topic earlier but it kept erasing my post, so I'm trying again:


I love the idea of marriage. It is definately something I am looking forward to.

But I could not marry someone I had just known for a year. People change, a year is just not long enough to really get to know someone.

Marriage is a life-long commitment and is not something I want to take lightly.

Re: Marriage
 

A close friend of mine's girlfriend is discussing their "future". They've been together 5 months.

I've been with my woman for over a year and I still don't plan on anything yet. People need to take more time to decide if that person is really the one they want to marry. If you bitch about how your girlfriend treats you, you're obviously not ready to think about marriage.

And the Catholic Church's stance on it is unnacceptable. But that's just my opinion.

Re: Marriage
 

Got maturity, dedication, and honesty? If so, then the couple's emotionally prepared.

I'd marry my gal (I fear not commitment!), but I don't even have a job anymore... and I've got a lot of stuff to pay for, so I'll wait until I do my college transfer (likely after two years of Community College). Though I'd like to before that :/

Re: Marriage
 

Well, I personally think people shouldn't get married at least until they're past college (and other forms of schooling) and are at least 20.

While the entire ideal around marriage is to *cough* "eternally" be with the one you love, it has a lot of other stuff around it that has to be considered as well. It costs money for one, and I certainly don't think a lot of fresh high school grads or college students would be able to afford it.

I also think a couple should at least know each other for a couple of years before they ever consider marriage, much less actually dating. How oculd you possibly know if you want to spend the...err...rest of your life with someone if you haven't known them but for a few months?

And with at least being twenty... I just don't think a lot of people my age realize or are ready for it all. There are seniors who know that they're going to marry their boyfriend/girlfriend of two weeks, even though they broke up with a previous "fiance" only days before the new relationship. While that's hardly everybody, you still some stuff like that in a whole lot of high school relationships, and I hardly doubt anything changes soon after graduation.


*shrugs and walks away*

Re: Marriage
 

Just curious, but was that a personal stab?

You quoted me, and I am Catholic...

Re: Marriage
 

No. I had no prior knowledge of your beliefs and I am sorry to have offended them if I did. Not a personal stab. I would have threatened you if it was.

Re: Marriage
 

Ok, just checking

Re: Marriage
 

I got the impression that most people on this forum are mature enough to handle a lot of issues stemming from relationships.

I used to post online on a teen forum and you wouldn't believe some of the tools you see there. You have kids who are 14 and 15, claiming that they are in love and engaged. With someone they just met 2 weeks ago.

I am not saying that this (i.e. finding someone you truly love in 2 weeks) is not possible but sometimes it pays to be more practical. There are enough Britneys and Jennifers in this world already!

Maybe that's why I don't go there anymore...

Marriage is definitely something I am looking at when my relationship hits a certain point. However, like what I told my mom who fears that I may be over commiting myself to one person (at this age), "We are deciding on what to eat for lunch and not which house to buy."

Re: Marriage
 

Well, here's my stance.

The foundation of marriage is supposed to be love. Love is supposed to be a non-material thing, however, I'm willing to argue that being financially stable and having an education will help to prolong whatever love you have. It's not so much that you need to be a certain age to get married, it's that most 16, 17 and 18 year olds are still moronic teenagers that not only cannot support themselves, but are still arrogant and always think that everything they think is right.

Hypothetically, a marriage could work at an early age. It's happened before, it's going to happen again. Realisitcally...well, that depends on the scenario.

I'm all for marriage too....I'm not sure why someone wouldn't be.....unless they where going to be the next Hefner or something...so yeah. Go marriage!

Re: Marriage
 

I was just thinking about the comments about age:

I am now 22 years old, and I can remember back when I was 16,17 or even when I was 18,19 and I know for a fact that I would not have been able to handle marriage. And I have always been a very mature person.

Although I do know that it could work for some, it wouldn't have worked for me and it didn't work for my sister... so my opinion is it is very uncommon.

Re: Marriage
 

why would someone trap themselves in so much commitment and responsibility at such a young age.....i feel if u love someone...very well....be with him/her and be happy....but when you get married at 16-19 ish....all is wasted...youth is wasted......the very few best years of your life....will b spent on doing the same s*** you will be doing for the rest of your life...... :confused: WHY?!.....i feel if you're destined to b together....you will at the end of the day....if the feeling of love is mutually strong...there is no need to bond yourselves together in marriage just to prove that the relationship you share is secure...*shrug* thats what i feel.

Re: Marriage
 

To the one that said people can change in a year: people will always keep changing. It's about how you deal with that. That's what matters more in a relation, I think.

Re: Marriage
 

Yes, but the big changes occur after you really start to get close to someone. They take down their barriers. So, that is why I said a year is not long enough. Of course people always change, but its those early changes that are most important.

Re: Marriage
 

I find it interesting that Jeepnut's slave is posting about marriage and Jeepnut is nowhere to be found. :sneaky: :drevil:

Re: Marriage
 

Well JS what if I'm we're already close enough? What if we already took down our barriers (whatever that means? :confused: )?

You can't judge for others whether they're ready or not....

Re: Marriage
 

well girls do think more about marriage than guys (in general) ... and jeepnut is probably scared to put up his opinion in case someone will speculate that we're near that point

Canyarion - you're probably right, my opinion is a general opinion formed of what I would want for myself and what I have already seen (a lot)

Re: Marriage
 

Yeah, we both know a person who jumped into a relationship way to fast and got engaged while the girl was still in High School. They both said they were meant for each other, they both said they wanted to be together forever and they both said they were in love. Shortly there after things went wrong and his life is worse off for it. She ruined a few of his friendships and probably a lot of his confidence. Basically, in my opinion, there is absolutely no reason not to wait. If it's meant to be, it will happen. This is not to say this will happen to you and I'm not trying to tell you what to do. Just that, in general, more often than not, it's a good idea to take marriage very slowly.

My thoughts on marriage are that I do definitely, without a doubt want to be married with a family someday. But, I also want to be able to support that family and provide a secure and loving environment for my children to grow up in. This means I want to be out of college and have a decent job with some money saved up so that we are solid finacially and I want to have known my spouse for several years to be sure that we can get along and that we've given time to discover all those habits we have that at first we thought were cute but are now just annoying. Relationships change over time, a lot. I feel I would be irresponsible to add children to a relationship that had not in my mind already stood some test of time. I can't even begin to tell you how much JS and myself have evolved both individually and as a couple over the three plus years we have known each other, but I can say without a doubt that I am sure that we will change even more in the coming years.

Not meant to be a lecture, just laying my thoughts and opinions out on the table.

Re: Marriage
 

First of all, I didn't even notice that there was a new post in this thread. jeepnut corrected my error

Anyway, although I already knew most of what he said up there. I would like to say that what he said about our friend is totally true. Its a pretty bad situation there.

And about us changing... hopefully its for the better

Re: Marriage
 

hmmm... i want a wedding. lol, but i'm not sure yet whether or not i will ever get married. my parents' marriage was a disaster, and i've never met a couple who are entirely happy with their relationship. i won't rule it out, but i don't think i'll get married in the next 5 years.

as far as gay marriage goes: i'm for it. all the way. it's none of the government's business who gets married. jesus, land of the FREE... not JESUS land of the free... well anyway you get it.

Re: Marriage
 

As far as marriage is concerned, to me it's not that important, marriage is just a tax break.

Living with someone is basically the same thing as marriage, so I think that's all you really need.

As far as approval, you're the only person that needs to approve.

Age? Whatever, personally I like em a little older.

Length of relationship? Doesn't really matter too much, I think it will help you work out all your problems if you date a little longer, but if you love someone, you should be able to work out all your faults and differences no matter how long you've known them.

Personally I'm in love with someone I only spent 17 days or so with.

So I don't think it matters.