"Your pants must have mirrors because I see myself in them!" :stud:

:sneaky:

;)

I started a thread about this in the Black Project Forum and got barely any replies. :(

Oh well.

Since we seem to have a trend in toilet humor here...

A visitor to Madrid decided a nice thing to do would be to check out a good old-fashioned bullfight. It was an exciting event to be sure. The performers were highly skilled, and a good time was had by all. As our visitor was leaving the arena, he happened to notice a small restaurant nearby with delicious odors wafting out of its doors. Since he was a little hungry, he decided to grab a bite.

After he had taken a seat and made his order, he noticed another patron who was feasting on, among other things, what looked like a pair of delicious meatballs. Except these meatballs were larger than anything else this visitor had seen before. Curious, he caught the attention of the waiter and asked what the dish was.

"Oh, that's our specialty, señor," said the waiter. "The gentleman over there is eating the testicles of the bull that was killed in today's fight. It's only available once a day, and it always gets served within a minute after it's been prepared."

Now this was something truly unusual. Think of all the stories to tell people at home, the visitor thought. He had to try it—if only to find out what bull testicles taste like.

The next day, there was another bullfight, but the visitor didn't even bother watching. Instead, he waited impatiently outside the arena for signs that the fight was over. Pretty soon, the crowd's cheers had subsided and people started filing out of the arena. The visitor made a beeline for the small restaurant and immediately ordered the house specialty.

"You're in luck, señor," said the waiter. "You're the first to order our specialty today, so you will be the one to have the dish today. We've just finished preparing it."

Minutes later, the waiter served up a steaming plate of vegetables, bread and meatballs. The hungry visitor couldn't help noticing, however, that these meatballs didn't seem as big as the ones he had seen yesterday.

"Was there something wrong with the bull today?" he asked the waiter. "Why are these testicles so small?"

The waiter harrumphed and coughed before finally answering, "Eh, you see, señor, the bull does not always lose."

Haha, aww sic...:D

Lol good on Xantar.

Here's one:

A man takes his Long snouted long tailed short legged greyhound into a bar. He goes in and the bartender says "WHAT IT THE NAME OF SWEET MERCY IS THAT?!". The bloke says this is me long snouted long tailed short legged greyhound. He says its an ugly piece of work but it'll kill any dog and shred it to pieces. Bartender says bet it cant take on my pit bull. The BLoke says is that a fight? Bartender says, your one. Be here eight o clock tomorrow.

Eight o clock comes, and the man with the long snouted long tailed short legged greyhound comes. Everyone keeps asking him what it is, and he tells them its a long snouted long tailed short legged greyhound.

So the two animals fight, and the pit bull is absaloutely torn to piece. The bartender is shocked and goes to the bloke, whats this called? I wanna get one.

The bloke says its a long snouted long tailed short legged greyhound...







...but in Australia we call em crocodiles ;)

Here's another one...I didn't want to make another thread about it. :D
It make be disgusting but funny. :D


Students at the LSU Medical School were receiving their first
anatomy class with a real dead human body. They were all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first thing is that it is necessary that you not be disgusted." The professor uncovered the body, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead body, withdrew it and sucked his finger. "Go ahead and do the same thing", he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated and subsequently took turns
sticking their fingers in the butt of the body and sucking their finger after withdrawing it from the rectum. When everybody was finished, the professor looked at them and told them,

"The second important quality is observation. I stuck my middle finger in and sucked my index finger.

Pay attention people!!!!!"
:D:D:p

HAHA! That is a good one Xantar :D

A very tall father asked his son if he wanted a special type of lollipop. The little four-year old replied, "Sure daddy," with a hint of excitment. The father then said, "Ok son, but you must first do three things: Close your eyes, open your mouth, and make a wish." The little boy did so and what followed was somewhat unexpected...

Ten minutes later the little boy walked quietly back to his room, fatigued and confused. Later that night, his mom came home from work. The little boy walked into his mother's room later that night, she was reading a book in bed. He climbed up onto her bed and asked, "hey mom, I have a special lollipop for you, would you like it?" The mom replied with no expectation for what was to follow, "Oh honey, I'd love to have a special lollipop." The little tyke told his mom what she must do first and she followed his instructions, entertained by his wanting to surprise her...

Four hours later, the boy's dad walked into the bedroom. He saw his wife complelty undressed, sprawled out on the bed alsleep and next to her lay his son with smeared lipstick all over his undressed body watching TV. The boy's shocked father asked, "Son, what happened to you and mommy?" the little four year old replied, "I gave her one of those special lollipops," he said with an unbearable innocence. :D

I hate to use the word, but BUMP...

I thought this thread the some of the funniest jokes ever. So enjoy!

He, a lot better than the current joke thread :D


*laughs and walks away*

I don't really get the lollipop one... apart from some disgusting innuendo, did I miss something?

Poster #1: You explain it to him.

Poster #2: No, you explain it to him.

Poster #1: No way I'm explaining it to him. You do it.

Me: Ah frag it. I'll do it. Ok, Ice, it goes like this. Substitute "penis" for "lollipop."

*checks to make sure Ice006 hasn't been traumatized*

Hey, was that was a great joke or what? Thanks for ressurrecting this. :D

Yeah, I know, it's just disgusting and all, but I don't get it, I mean, I was expecting some twist, like we thought it was supposed to be a penis, but in actuality is wasn't. But it was, so I assumed there would have been a 'thing' at the end that made it funny. I think they're called punch lines... or something.

Yeah it wasn't funny at all.. :confused:

Hey Ice I checked your site. Nice party. :)

And where exactly in the post did I guarantee the element of funniness? When you guys get your facts straight, you may come crawling back to me to apologize for expecting something that I never said I was going to provide. Thank you and ado.

*closes briefcase and walks out the courtroom*