Some of my old stories.

[Swan]

I was looking through a box of all my old school stuff and I stumbled upon my old writing booklet. I read some of the stories and found one of my favorites, so I decided to post it here and see what you think. Keep in mind that I wrote this when I was in the 5th or 6th grade.
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The Masked Maniac.

Mild mannered psycopath, Bob Queerman, is no longer mild mannered. You see, he's been in and out of asylums for years and everytime he escapes. The last time he escaped, he was found in a nuclear waste storing facility with loads upon loads of nucler waste in open vats. There was a cat walk above the vats for some reason. When the orderlies found him up on the walkway they went to grab him, and he started to run. The orderlies started to chase him and after awhile they got tired and stopped to catch their breath.
Bob turned a corner, looked back and shouted, "See you's guys later."
Right after he screamed this he ran into the rail and fell over it into an open vat. One of the orderlies shrieked, "Why, oh whydid he have to go this way?"
He then started to walk away whistling a merry little tune while the other orderly followed him out.

About a half an hour after they left, a rumbling noise occured. Then the whole building started to shake, followed by weird music that sounded like, "Diddy, doeddy, diddy diddy doo," and, "Donkey, kiddie, do da day." (Work with me here)
Then something happened, a human flew out of the vat and straight into the ceiling and fell straight into the floor. CLUNK!
When he got up, he started to run around in circles, chasing his tail and barking. (Yes, he has a tail) Round and round he went, barking like a hound after a fox. He eventually got dizzy and walked into a wall a couple of times.
Only a maniac would do this, and this is the perfect description of him.
When he did stop, he ran straight for the door, but there was one problem with the plan.Instead of running through the open doorway, he ran through the wall to the right of the doorway leaving a rather silly hole that looked like a duck.

On the other side of town, a robbery was taking place. The criminal behind it was Braniac, the worlds smartest and clumsiest criminal. Braniac looked like your a pretty normal person except for one little thing, the top of his head was made out of glass and you could see his enourmous brain. He was seven feet tall including his brain. His brain was two feet and he was five feet tall.
His henchmen were not your typical, run of the mill henchmen. They had been genetically altered. He had made them, bigger, faster, stronger. In a sense, he had rebuilt them. They had no use for weapons for they were the ultimate weapons themselves.

As they were walking away from the bank with their loot, they heard a very weird music. They then looked up to be greeted by the sight of an interesting character. His face was red and black, his eyes were the eyes of a maniac, with green and yellow swirls. On his head were a set of horns. He had a green and yellow uniform with the insignia MM. He had a red and black cape.
"Who are you?" Braniac yelled upwards.
The mystery man replied "I am The Masked Maniac, mutated to avenge the week..."
He was interupted by himself falling off the top of the building. He shrieked, "Argh!" SPLAT!
He land flat on his face, making an indent in the pavement a couple of feet deep.
Braniac and his goons crowded around the hole in the ground. After nothing happened, they began to walk away when the weird music started to play again. "Oh bloody hell, not again," Braniac complained.
The ground started to shake and the Masked Maniac jumped out of the hole. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interupted," he looks up at the building angrily, "I am The Masked Maniac, mutated to avenge the weak and helpless."
"Get him!" Braniac commanded his minions.
As they closed in on him, they all stopped because he had done something. He had taken out a jack-in-the-box and and started to wind it. The henchmen just stood around confused, why had he taken out the jack-in-the-box when a fight was obviously about to take place? Then it hit them, literally. A giant boxing glove had come out of the jack-in-the-box and knocked down all of the goons. All except for one. The leader of them, the biggest, strongest, fastest one of them all.
"Before you pound me into oblivion," The Masked Maniac pleaded, "have a piece of gum, to keep your breath fresh all through the beating."
The Masked Maniac hand him a piece of gum and he pooped it into his mouth. He lifted his arm, about to throw the first blow when he started to scream, "Ahhh, it burn's, it burn's. It's hot."
He then run away to find away to cool the intense heat inside his mouth. "The gum that burns your tongue," The Masked Maniac says, donning an announcers voice.
He then withdrew a gun, aimed it at Braniac and took his shot. BLAM!
When the smoke had cleared, Braniac was shaking and it looked like he had wet himself. He looked up and saw that the gun was actually a phony gun. It was the kind that when you pulled the trigger, it made a bang noise and shot out a flag that said,"BANG!"
"You made me wet my pants for nothing!" Braniac screamed hysterically.
"You have to admit it though, it was pretty funny," The Masked Maniac said giggling.
"Grrr," Braniac growled, and withdrew a gun himself.
This gun didn't look phony, it looked like a laser cannon. Braniac took aim. The Masked Maniac got ready to dodge. BLAMO! Braniac fired the gun and The MAsked Maniac jumped to the right. Directly into the shot.

When he awoke he was in The Mental Hospital for Not-So-Great Super Heroes. (What a mouthful) The first person who he saw was a man with a globe for a head. He walked up to The Masked Maniac and said, "Hello, my name is Globe-Head, welcome to the hospital. You're going to be here a long time."
"Not if I can help it!"
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Whew, that took along time to type. Tell me what you thought.

[thatmariolover]

Haha. That's awesome dude! Sorry it took me a while to get around to reading your post. I really did enjoy it though. If I find one of mine I might post it. I think I've got a Mario story somewhere around here I wrote in 7'th grade.

-Edit-Here it is-

Sunlight filtered through the small window of the Pipe House onto a large red sausage; or at least what appeared to be a large red sausage. As a matter of fact, it wasn’t a sausage at all; but a large, pasta gorged plumber named Mario who happened to be lazily wasting the day sleeping. This, to Mario’s extreme disappointment, came to an abrupt end when a small bird repeatedly rapped on the window; announcing the arrival of the early edition paper with an important note attached to it.

ATTN:
To all those of able body and will (at this point, Mario looked down at his pot belly and nearly threw away the letter – but read on anyway):
The Princess of Mushroom Kingdom has been kidnapped! Because all of our knights are currently indisposed with other tasks (tax collecting no doubt – thought Mario to himself), we request that somebody volunteer to help regain the princess from the clutches of the evil Bowser – King of the Koopas.

Rewards are non-negotiable, and will include a supply of mushrooms and tax exemption for the rest of the subject’s natural life. Please, in the name of Mushroom Kingdom, help us!

Mario set the letter on the table next to his small hammock (which happened to be made from lashed pasta noodles - go figure). Rubbing his eyes, and washing his face in the nearby water basin, he grabbed the note and moved to the next room where his brother Luigi was quietly looking over a pipe diagram he had been designing of late.

“So you actually decided to get up,” asked Luigi in a thick (almost fake sounding) Italian accent. “I thought you might sleep in there forever.”

“Don’t think I wouldn’t have either – If it weren’t for the letter that came,” replied Mario. Stifling a yawn with one hand, he handed the notice to his brother with the other.

“Mama Mia!!!” cried Luigi exuberantly. “The Mushroom Kingdom Pizza Parlor is having a two for one special!”

“The other side of the note, look at the other side!” said Mario – wroth with frustration.

Luigi flipped over the note and read expectantly. “Holy buttery breadsticks, Mario!” Shouted the green clad plumber. “We have to save her!”

“Well obviously,” Mario retorted. “But how are we going to do that?”

“I don’t know Mario,” Luigi said, “maybe we should try the local Castles, other than the King’s of course. I think there are eight of them, but they’re hard to get to!”

“No worries there,” stated the talking red sausage man, “I keep an emergency mushroom stash just for cases like this!”

And so the two stalwartly brothers embarked on their journey. Not quite knowing what they would get themselves into.
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The flashback ended and Mario found himself on his back in a hot Dungeon. He looked around, trying to gather his bearings. Finally it all came rushing back to him. He had passed out after being hit by a bob-omb from behind. He found himself puzzled over the flashback. He hadn’t thought of that day in a long while. It was the day that made him more than just a plumber; more than just a brother. He was the protector of Mushroom Kingdom - and Luigi of course helped a little here and there.

Mario went to straighten his hat and found only hair. He looked around the dirty floor and saw a patch of red in the far corner of the room. He lifted himself and made his way over. The hat was slightly scorched but looked good considering what it had been through. He wiped the sweat from his brow with a sleeve and placed his hat on his head.

Making his way to the door, Mario prepared himself. Through that - was Bowser; he knew it, he could feel it. After fighting him so many times, he had developed an awareness – now honed to razor precision. He gathered his courage and made himself take one step after the other. He arrived at the door sooner than he had hoped, but it was now or never. He pushed open the door and stepped through.

Nothing in his wildest imagination could have prepared him for the chamber that now surrounded him. A large round dome lined with the bones of thousands of creatures gathered from every nook and cranny of the world lined the outer walls as a support structure. The bones glowed from the lava flowing through them as blood flows through veins. Mario’s eyes darted from the far wall where Luigi and Toadstool were both unconscious and chained – to the large throne holding the biggest ugliest beast of them all: Bowser.

“MARIO!!!” Bowser’s infuriated cry echoed through the spacious cavern. “You should have stayed down – but you just couldn’t could you? You had to ruin my party again, didn’t you!?”

Mario tried not to look too pleased with himself (it isn’t every day you get to pay your arch enemy back – and this time he intended to pay him back in full). He whirled into action, chomping on a Mushroom. The effect was immediate: his size tripled and although he still wasn’t as big as Bowser, the size difference was at least not quite as noticeable.

Bowser drew a deep breath, and where he exhaled the ground was scorched. He ran at Mario (as best as a half ton lizard can run) quickly closing the distance between them.

Mario quickly dodged under Bowser’s legs and grabbed his tail. Bowser gave it an angry flick and sent his pasta loving foe sprawling. Mario quickly gathered himself from the ground and looked around for anything that could help him, but there was nothing. He turned around to face his enemy with bared fists only to see Bowser - feet from him and coming fast. He couldn’t help himself; he fell back in cowering terror. At the last moment before impact something collided with Bowser, hard. It was his brother in green, the underdog.

Gathering himself up he noticed Luigi was now being smothered by a giant lizard with a bad case of halitosis. Rushing to his brother’s side, he flung Bowser 12 paces across the cobblestone floor. The great King of the Koopas roared with such force that Mario’s skull vibrated.

That’s when he heard the cry: “Mariooooooooo!!!!!!!” It was one of those shouts that you always hear from girls. One of those “drop-what-you’re-doing-right-now-and pay-attention-to-me” type cries. He looked to his right and saw Toadstool. “Here,” she shouted at him – tossing a small star shape object at him. He recognized it immediately, but apparently so did Bowser.

The two both caught sight of it at the same time - each doing a double take between the others face and the star. There was nothing else to do, Mario ran like he’d never ran before – only to be met by Bowser’s backhand. He flew a full 10 feet before making contact with the ground again. Mario watched as Bowser made to reach for the star; however all he got in his outstretched claws was a brown boot and a shred of green legging. As Luigi touched the star the effect was immediate – Bowser flew as if he had been holding a power transformer that had been off, but suddenly turned on.

Thick black tendrils of smoke, like fingers of death, floated from Bowser’s blackened body. Tearing his eyes away, Mario took a gloved hand from his brother, pulled himelf up, and returned to the matter at hand. Freeing the Princess – they made their way to a shimmering portal. Only to hear – “We’re sorry. Our Princess is in another castle. Haha… Just Kidding…”