Moved in on Labor day.

[The Germanator]

Alrighty, so today I had to officially move back into school up here in Vermont. I moved into a better house on campus, so that's something to look forward to. I suppose the main, obvious addition is my new roommate. Last year my roommate moved out within the first three weeks, so I ended up with a single for most of the semester.

Well, he seems like a pretty nice guy (sorry to interrupt, but literally as I speak, someone has set off about 10 fireworks outside of my room, whee, labor day spirit) anyway, I think I can definitely get along with this guy...He's not threatening or intimidating, and he happens to play some video games as well (I don't have to feel like a total geek...I say this as I type in my gaming forum blog while he's probably out interacting with people....:unsure:.

Despite this being only the first day, I'm still getting the same stale taste of this place that I got in the first semester. I don't know exactly what it is...I think I have some sort of social disorder or problem that I don't know about. I don't even like going to lunch or dinner here because I know I'll have to talk to people that I sorta know, but don't quite know...For some reason that's the worst for me because a lot of them are good friends, and I'm just some casual acquantaince that they barely know. But, how will they know me if I don't get out of my goddamn room? Well, there lies the main issue I suppose. I want to get past the awkward stage by somehow not confronting it. That's pretty much how it's always been for me it seems.

I can't believe I feel this way and I've been here for all but 15 hours. I haven't even started my classes yet...I'll probably like that because it gives me another excuse to stay inside my room and "work." I'll finish my work and still have "work" to do if I don't feel like going out, it's my reliable cop-out for not getting into a social situation that I don't want to handle. Maybe I need to get out of here, but not for at least another 3 months because I cannot afford to pay back the $15,000 back to my granddad for a wasted college term. Even I struggle through this semester, that still leaves me with 3 more years of higher education to go. Do I transfer? Will it just be the same no matter where I go? I almost feel like if there was some way I could just live at home and take classes I'd be fine. I'd like to finish of course because the oppurtunity is being handed to me, but I feel like I'm discovering that this isn't the way to do it right now. I suppose three months is not that far away, but it feels like an eternity on day one. Maybe I'll change my mind once I get into it, but if not, I don't know what the hell I'm going to do next term.

Writing that did help a bit, but all the nagging feelings are still there. Let's just say that December 16th is going to be a nice day, no matter what goes on the next couple of months.

[Acebot44]

I feel for you man. I've got a friend going through almost the same thing and he's been in school for about 3 weeks now and hasnt improved. I think that the only way to get over this feeling is just to go ahead and be social. I havent seen anything bad happen to my friends who came out of their rooms. It's all just been more fun. It sounds like you're going to miss out on "The College Experience". Maybe something's wrong with your environment or are you the same at home?

[The Germanator]

I feel for you man. I've got a friend going through almost the same thing and he's been in school for about 3 weeks now and hasnt improved. I think that the only way to get over this feeling is just to go ahead and be social. I havent seen anything bad happen to my friends who came out of their rooms. It's all just been more fun. It sounds like you're going to miss out on "The College Experience". Maybe something's wrong with your environment or are you the same at home?

Yeah, I understand, and I try, but it never seems to quite work. I've been almost dragged out of the room by my brother's girlfriend to get me out to some party on campus...Then when I get there...it was not really fun, at all. I just end up talking to her or my brother and feeling like an outsider when everyone else is around. I think coming in mid-way through the semester was rough last year. I never quite made my out of being the kid without a class. I never had an orientation to meet people or anything, I just sorta got thrust into it all. Keep in mind, this is a VERY small school, we only have 700 kids here, so you either make it in one of the smaller cliques or you don't. It was that same way in high school, but at least then I could go home and spend time with my very best friends who I've known all my life. Anyway, I think that's why I spend time in my room. Room = closet thing to a "home" you have on a campus...But it's obviously not the same without family + friends. I dunno, I'm just a weirdo, I'll work it out somehow and be alright.

[Typhoid]

I've been almost dragged out of the room by my brother's girlfriend to get me out to some party on campus...Then when I get there...it was not really fun, at all. I just end up talking to her or my brother and feeling like an outsider when everyone else is around.



Yeah, I used to be like that at parties, The thing that makes you get over it is to just stop caring what people think of you, ( obviously, still care a little bit) but for the mostpart.

Just be yourself, no matter how nerdy or geeky that may be, you'll associate with someone sooner or later.

Im way better at parties now...some would say i bring life to them. You just have to be "friendly" and not act like a douche to people.

I know thats what i do, i get along with everyone.


Enough of making myself proud...

[Acebot44]

Yeah what Typhoid said. Also, just keep a positive mind and try to top yourself everyday and sooner or later you'll become more social. By topping, I mean one day, start a conversation in a class with a girl or guy that seems cool. Next day, do it again but this time take it further by like getting their number or makin plans to hang out with them and their buddies. It's the beginning of the school year so everyone is anxious on makin more friends so I think it'll be really easy. Plus, you're in an awesome band so you're already a step cooler than the norm ;)

[GameMaster]

My experience is kind of opposite but I share some similar feelings. I graduated high school last year and now I'm starting college at a community/junior college. It's in a different city about 20 minutes away so I'm living at home, which is what I wanted, like Jason mentioned in another thread, I didn't have that common desire to leave home and set out on my home. I'm fine where I'm at right now. But since starting the new school I've enjoyed it because I don't know anyone here. All my friends are at different places. So I'm just on my own at school, I go to class then I leave and I don't have that obligation to socialize with anyone. My feelings might change later but right now I like it, between you guys and talking with hometown friends online, that's good enough for me. And I don't really think it's a social disorder, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be independent or alone sometimes. It's just your disposition. And in the new age of online communication, psychologists are recognizing it as an additonal form of socializing, not a disfunctional form like your parents or some old person might think. Anyways Germ, unless you don't like feeling this way, I wouldn't worry about, I'd just go along with your natural feeling and live it. But if you don't like the way you feel and you wish you could be like, 'the other guys', you might try just kind of forcing yourself to get involved in the scene. But if it's less a feeling of preference and more a feeling of true discomfort, you might have social anxiety or depression, which as you probably already know can be treated. Depression doesn't just mean you feel down in the dumps, it can be other things like not wanting to do anything or not wanting to be around others. As long as I've known you though, I think for you it's probably just a part of your disposition. Give us a weekly update regarding if your feelings change or stay the same.