What if Shakespeare had written...

[BreakABone]

Well, I'm pretty much certain thay atleast the mass majority of members at GT have had some exposure to Shakespeare whether through a movie based on one of his plays, or his plays themselves.

Anyhow, was just being random with my friend on AIM, and wondered how it would be if ShakeSpeare wrote the Batman script.

Here are some random lines.

The Joker: Has thou ever danceth with the devil in the palest of thee moon's light?


Batman: To stalk or not to stalk
That is the question
Whether it is nobler to dress up as a bat and scare criminials
Or use my vast fortune to help put more cops on the street

Now they aren't the best, they aren't meant to be just playing around with my friend on AIM.

But how would Shakespeare rewrite some of your favorite movies?

[Canyarion]

Now they aren't the best:)





;)

Ok some Jurassic Park ones:

*thinks* *realises he doesn't know Shakespeare*

Ok Poe then:

Peering into that darkness, wondering..... fearing.... doubting..... Muldoon aimed his grenade launcher and blasted a raptor to pieces.

Muldoon: "We could use the lysine plan now"
Hammond: "Nevermore...."

Hammond: "We can rebuild this park, right Ellie?"
Elllie: "Nevermore...."

Hammond: "Will you go back?"
Grant: "Nevermore...."

Malcolm: "When you gotta go, you gotta go!"
Grant (looking at Genero being eaten): "Nevermore...."

:unsure:

[dropCGCF]

I'd like to see her write Romeo And Juliet. She wouldn't have cast Dicaprio.

[BreakABone]

I'd like to see her write Romeo And Juliet. She wouldn't have cast Dicaprio.

"Her", "she"

I know both William Shakespeare and Edgar Allan Poe were dudes. And I know, myself and as far as I know, Canyorian are dudes.

So who exactly are you referring to? :confused:

[Dyne]

Shakespeare was Bisexual. *shrug*

He could've rewritten The Last Samurai. That would've been REALLY cool.

[DimHalo]

Shakespeare was Bisexual. *shrug*

He could've rewritten The Last Samurai. That would've been REALLY cool.


I'm a little confused, what does him being bisexual have to to with the referrence "she"?

[dropCGCF]

I said "she" because many theories say Shakespeare was a woman.

[Typhoid]

I said "she" because many theories say Shakespeare was a woman.





How many women do you know with the name "William"?


Please cite these many theories, and where you heard them from, and post a sketch of what he would look like as a woman, we have all seen what he looks like, as he normally is, but i would like to laugh at a female-Shakespeare.

Thank you.

[dropCGCF]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5251226/site/newsweek/

I also believe that Jesus was a woman.

[Happydude]

Shakespear...a woman...:lol:


in anycase, i hate shakespear because i've been studying his plays for the past 7 years or so an it's just freaking annoying, so i definetly wouldn't want him to write any of my favorite movies.

[Dyne]

I'm a little confused, what does him being bisexual have to to with the referrence "she"?

Yeah, a lot of people are confusing Shakespeare with a woman because he wrote some pretty homosexual things in his sonnets, and some other factors, but.. I don't know.

[Fox 6]

If Shakespeare was a woman then I must be...JESUS!!


J/K :p

[Canyarion]

If Shakespeare was a woman then I must be...JESUS!!


J/K :p
:mad: I reported that post for blasphemy! :mad:





:rolleyes:

[DimHalo]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/5251226/site/newsweek/

I also believe that Jesus was a woman.


Are you a feminist?

[dropCGCF]

Are you a feminist?

No. I just believe that men have opressed women's ideas and appeals for too long throughout the centuries. Credit should be given where it is due. I think many women masked themselves as men in order to accomplish certain historic accomplishments.

Plus, it scores well with chicks. You should try it.

I believe Jesus was a woman because she hung out with prostitutes, had 12 men follow his every whim, and preached all the "feminine" ideas of love and caring.

[Typhoid]

No. I just believe that men have opressed women's ideas and appeals for too long throughout the centuries. Credit should be given where it is due. I think many women masked themselves as men in order to accomplish certain historic accomplishments.

Plus, it scores well with chicks. You should try it.

I believe Jesus was a woman because she hung out with prostitutes, had 12 men follow his every whim, and preached all the "feminine" ideas of love and caring.




Maybe he was nice. Maybe he was gay. Do you think things other than "it might be a woman?"


My neighbour, Super nice guy. Hes not a woman, no, hes just an all around good guy.

[Bond]

No. I just believe that men have opressed women's ideas and appeals for too long throughout the centuries. Credit should be given where it is due. I think many women masked themselves as men in order to accomplish certain historic accomplishments.

Plus, it scores well with chicks. You should try it.

I believe Jesus was a woman because she hung out with prostitutes, had 12 men follow his every whim, and preached all the "feminine" ideas of love and caring.
Are you sure you aren't Dan Brown masked as dropCGCF?

[dropCGCF]

Maybe he was nice. Maybe he was gay. Do you think things other than "it might be a woman?"


My neighbour, Super nice guy. Hes not a woman, no, hes just an all around good guy.

So you're saying I'm foolish for embracing a logical theory that isn't wildly accepted? I forgot, Copernicus was wrong too.

You need to open your mind. The things they teach you in school are the way they want you to think. Most of the greatest writers and artists that the world has had have been crazy, drunk, on drugs, or had some other impairment. You need to stop nodding your head as people sppon-feed you their ideas.

So your neighbor's gay? My neighbor's a woman, what's your point? Are you trying to say that Shakespeare was a nice guy, writing stories about murder-suicides, incest, and general disorder? Thanks for the insight.

[Typhoid]

So your neighbor's gay? My neighbor's a woman, what's your point? Are you trying to say that Shakespeare was a nice guy, writing stories about murder-suicides, incest, and general disorder? Thanks for the insight.



I was referring to Jesus, considering you said that he was a woman.

Understand things before you try and pick apart what i say next time.

And yes, go for it, have your own opinion. Your entitled to it. So why cant you have an open mind that both of them were men? You tell me to have an open mind about them being women, well you too friend.

Thank you.

[Fox 6]

Didn't Shakespeare have kids and a wife?

[DimHalo]

Plus, it scores well with chicks. You should try it.




Well, considering that I am a straight female I have no need for scoring well with chicks.

And to what Fox said, something to remember is that the theory says that the personality of the male William Shakespeare is not the person who wrote the stories. It was actually a woman. While William Shakespeare might have existed, he was not the person who actually did the writing (as the theories suggest). So the fact that William Shakespeare had a wife and kids is irrelevant to the argument.

An argument which I disagree with.

[dropCGCF]

What is this, England?

I disagree!

(come on, someone PLEASE watch Family Guy...)

[Seth]

Jesus a woman?

Have you actually studied the Bible drop?

Jesus preached in teh synagogues. Women weren't allowed to do that.

Or are you saying that Jesus was a woman, disguised as a man?

and if so, what actuall evidence do you have to support that?



The New Testament constantly labels jesus as a male. Not just 'the Son of God' but he is called a man and boy.


wait, i'm stopping here. The Bible is the only record of Jesus' life on earth and if you are ignoring the Bible than please tell me what your sources are.

I don't read the Bible like I used to so I've lost a bit of my on the spot knowledge but any Bible scholar would be able to completely prove that Jesus was a man and not a woman based on what has been written of him by primary sources.

[dropCGCF]

Jesus a woman?

Have you actually studied the Bible drop?

Jesus preached in teh synagogues. Women weren't allowed to do that.

Or are you saying that Jesus was a woman, disguised as a man?



I find it funny that many things about the Bible are unclear and contradictory to themselves. Jesus frequently uses the phrase "sons and daughters", seeming to me like she was a motherly figure.

I know women were not allowed to preach in the synagogues. I don't see any records of Jesus having a penis. Why would I follow blind faith from a book written 2000 years ago? It's supposed to be symbolism, and that's what it is. I'm not sure who or what Jesus is, but I believe that whoever he/she was they were a good prophet. And this is not a discussion about my philosophy.

And getting back to the original topic, I would also like to see if Shakespeare had written The Bible.

[Typhoid]

I don't see any records of Jesus having a penis.


Show me the records of Jesus having a vagina. Show me the records where ANYTHING says Jesus was a woman.

There needs to be no records stating Jesus has a penis, because it usually goes hang in hand with being a man. I could say the same about you, I could claim it of anyone without an essay written about their penis.

And i dont believe Shakespeare was a woman, no, you know why? Because he was a man. A woman didnt write the plays.

I have heard ( and dont ask me to cite it, because i cant remember where i read it) that Shakespeare might have been a group of people writing plays as one person.


But Jesus a woman. Laughable. I dont know what your smoking, but be sure to pass it around.

[dropCGCF]

And i dont believe Shakespeare was a woman, no, you know why? Because he was a man. A woman didnt write the plays.

But Jesus a woman. Laughable. I dont know what your smoking, but be sure to pass it around.

Is the first statement the equivalent of "You can't go out tonight because I say so." ?

How is my theory laughable? I've gone to catholic schools all my life. I've come up with a few theories.

I'm sure that it's ridiculous because it's not what you believe. I never went bashing anyone's beliefs here, but you chose to pick a fight with mine for some reason. Everyone believes something for a reason. My reasons are just different than yours. DOn't dismiss them just because you're not open-minded. I'm sure you know all about Jesus, seeing as how you were there for his/her whole life.

[Typhoid]

Im not picking a fight, and i am open minded. I dont believe in Jesus ( in the spiritual way) yet I'm defending the position as if i do.

And you totally ignored my first paragraph thingy, so I will post it again for you to respond to.

Show me the records of Jesus having a vagina. Show me the records where ANYTHING says Jesus was a woman.

There needs to be no records stating Jesus has a penis, because it usually goes hang in hand with being a man. I could say the same about you, I could claim it of anyone without an essay written about their penis.

And i am open minded, im not bashing your opinion, im saying my opinion.

[dropCGCF]

But Jesus a woman. Laughable. I dont know what your smoking, but be sure to pass it around.

Oh, wait, you're not beating on my opinion.

[Typhoid]

Are you also republican? Because your not answering my questions.



Show me the records of Jesus having a vagina. Show me the records where ANYTHING says Jesus was a woman.

There needs to be no records stating Jesus has a penis, because it usually goes hang in hand with being a man. I could say the same about you, I could claim it of anyone without an essay written about their penis.












































Im kidding about the republican thing by the way. Its just annoying that your not answering my question, when in fact your changing the subject completey, which appears to be an attempt to make me get mad and look bad, just to raise your reputation. And I said, "Appears to be" an attempt, so dont get all fussy with me.


But this is a stupid argument, so Im done.

[DimHalo]

Hmm, if Shakespeare had written Pirates of the Caribbean:

well... I am not good at this but I would imagine Jack Sparrow's sexual comments to be much more direct/blunt LOL

[quiet mike]

I find it funny that many things about the Bible are unclear and contradictory to themselves.
You know this is the #1 reason people refuse to read the Bible. But if they don't read it how can they say it's full of contradictory things. Please give me one contradictory thing you have found in the Bible and we'll discuss after that.
Jesus frequently uses the phrase "sons and daughters", seeming to me like she was a motherly figure.
And if you read the fist book of the Bible, you'll see the blood line of Adam spoken this way: "At age ## he had a son by the name of @@@@@ and he had many sons and daughters. He lived to be of ### years. @@@@@ took in mariage $$$$$$ and at age ## had a son by the name **** and had many sons and daughters. He lived to be of ### years old. ***** married ^^^^^ .... and it goes like that for almost a hundred people, alway showing the line trough the first born boy in the family.
Could it be that the phrase "sons and daughters" is a fatherly figure as well???
I know women were not allowed to preach in the synagogues. I don't see any records of Jesus having a penis. Why would I follow blind faith from a book written 2000 years ago? It's supposed to be symbolism, and that's what it is.
If it would be just symbolism it would have died long ago, and wouldn't have been followed 2000 years after the last book by 2 billion people on the planet. There must be something more than just symbolism, and I call it The Word of God.
By the way what 20th century book do you follow in blind faith.
And getting back to the original topic, I would also like to see if Shakespeare had written The Bible.
Considering the many people that wrote the Bible trough a span of 2000 years it's another testimony about the fact that the Bible is not just a symbolism. Shakspeare would have died long before geting trough half of the Bible. It would have sounded differently though.

[dropCGCF]

By the way what 20th century book do you follow in blind faith.

That's my point:

I don't. I don't follow anything in blind faith. I don't trust the Catholic Church anymore. And it has to do with personal experiences. I never got raped, but a priest tried to warp my mind.

You're also trying to give the "2 Billion Christians Can't Be Wrong!" School of thought to my belief.

I have read The Bible (Not the entire thing, but many parts). Have you read The Code Of Hammurabi or the Torah? What makes the bible more important than them or the Koran?

You claim it's the "Word Of God". Did God write it? Or were writers "inspired" by him? They could have as easily been "inspired" by booze or hallucinogens. But you never questioned it, no? Probably because you were raised to say your prayers, right?

I've found out from my years of Catholic schooling (and from one drunken Franciscan) that religion can be used as a grip, or a scare tactic, if you will, to keep people following.

Contradictory?

http://bennyhills.fortunecity.com/hardy/203/nonbeliever/page17.html

[BreakABone]

*Looks at replies in the thread*

*Look at original post*

Where did it all go wrong? :(

Let's see if I can bring it back on track, though I doubt it.

Matt : Thou's emotions took over. Thou almost put his own plug into a socket for thou heart's deepest temptations.

This is from 40 Days and 40 Nights, the quote is almost unrecognizable and the movie probably isn't as mainstream as Batman. I guess I will post original quote as well.

Matt : I almost f*ck*d an outlet today.

And one more from Batman

The Joker: Thou wonders, where those thee get such intriguing devices?

[Canyarion]

Plus, it scores well with chicks. You should try it.
She kind of IS a chick. :p +rep