A Sorcerer's Legacy Rough Version

[Ginkasa]

I'm going to be posting the rough drafts of my story A Sorcerer's Legacy, the continuation of the story started with my thread in the Writer's Guild.

This is going to be similar to the first post in that thread. Not quite fully deveoped or well written, just...kind of splurged.

Anyway, this is just so anyone can see it as the actual story develops if they want.

If you're curious...or something...

***

Anyway, what I'm posting now has already been decided as not good. In fact, I kind of just quit half way in it ^_^ I'm currently rewriting it and seeing what I can do to get this part better.

***

“This Pilgrimage is not living up to its reputation,” complained Irist, newly appointed paladin guard for his wizard companion.

Krytas, the wizard companion, chuckled. “We only began four days ago,” he reminded the paladin. “You can’t expect us to run across a plague ridden village or be attacked by malicious bandits so soon.”

“I know,” replied Irist. “It’s just that this is so boring. I have always expected a paladin’s life, the Pilgrimage in particular, would be more exciting than this. The stories brought back by the other paladins were always interesting. This…isn’t.”

“You forget that those stories are fives years of traveling condensed into an hour or less,” said Krytas. “Why don’t you go on lookout? It’s been almost an hour since your last search.” Irist nodded and spurred his horse ahead to search any signs of trouble.

Krytas smiled as Irist distanced himself. Most new paladins were disheartened by the lack of excitement and adventure on their first Pilgrimage; even Clesch, now the head of Gentire’s paladin guild, complained of boredom on his and Krytas’s first Pilgrimage.

The remembrance of old times gave Krytas the familiar feeling of loss and desperation. Back during the time of his first Pilgrimage as a wizard, nearly 30 years ago, new paladins were paired up with new wizards for their commencement journey. The pairing of new recruits from both guilds heightened the learning experience as both partners had to learn how to handle the various situations that they would face through experience rather than teaching. Now, however, the enrollment rate for the wizard guild had dropped so dramatically that new paladins had to be paired with older wizards. Not only was this a hassle for the wizards assigned to these Pilgrimages, but it also decreased the number of active healers in the city. It would not be too long before the Pilgrimages and time reduced the Sanctuary located in Gentire to little more than an abandoned building.

There was little Sanba, however. Krytas smiled as he remembered the young girl so adamant about being a wizard. She would make a fine wizard, Krytas thought. She enjoys helping people so much. Hopefully her eagerness to learn the ways of Light Magic would help spur new people to joining—

“Krytas!” shouted Irist, interrupting Krytas from his thoughts. “Come here! Quickly!”

Krytas hurried after the sound of Irist’s voice. Krytas found him kneeling behind a bush several yards from the road. “What is it? What have you found,” Krytas asked.

“His left arm’s been burnt off,” Irist said. Krytas got off his horse, walked around the bush, and saw what appeared to be a man’s corpse lying face up in the dirt near Irist’s feet. His left arm was gone, as Irist had pointed out. The flesh near the shoulder was black and burnt along with part of his chest. Krytas inspected closer and found that the man was still alive; his chest rose slightly with tiny breaths.

“Can you do anything for him?” Irist asked hopefully.

“The burn on his left side is infected,” said Krytas. “I can get rid of that, and repair the burnt flesh. I can do nothing for his arm or exhaustion.” Krytas kneeled over the man to heal him. He spread his hands over the man’s chest and concentrated on the areas of the man’s body that needed to be repaired. The man’s body began to glow with a faint light; as the light faded, the burn disappeared and was replaced by healthy flesh.

Irist’s eyes were wide. He had seen wizard heal minor aches and pains with their magic, but never anything so extensive or serious. “Will he live?” the paladin asked.

“I do not know,” Krytas answered. “I healed the injuries, but the man is obviously exhausted. He doesn’t seem to have had food or water for a while, either. We have to get him to Gentire as fast as possible. Your horse is faster and stronger than mine; strap him to the saddle and gallop as hard as you can toward the city. Take him to the Sanctuary and make sure Sonam sees him herself. I’ll follow behind as quickly as I can.” Irist nodded and followed the elder wizard’s orders.

That burn was too clean for an ordinary fire, the wizard thought.

***


*shrugs and walks away*

[Ginkasa]

Okay, I've rewritten what I posted above. Its pretty different this time. I like it better, but I'm not sure its exactly what I want...

***

Wizard Krytas Sera sighed with a sense of frustration as he remembered again what exactly it was he was doing. He understood why he was doing it and had, in fact, volunteered, but it was not something he truly wanted to do. He was going on a second Pilgrimage for the sole purpose of giving a Paladin apprentice a wizard companion.

Pilgrimages were journeys undertaken by wizard and paladin apprentices together, in pairs, to give them experience for the tasks they would be given for the rest of their lives – wizards to heal and paladins to protect. The apprentice pair would travel around the world and help any in need. A Pilgrimage typically lasted around five years. At the end of the journey, the apprentices would return to the town they had left and be officially ordained as wizard and paladin.

Unfortunately, wizard enrollment had dropped dramatically over the last few years. Paladin apprentices had to wait longer and longer to be partnered with a wizard apprentice for their Pilgrimage. Eventually it had reached the point where the Wizard Magister had resorted to sending wizards who had already finished their Pilgrimages years ago.

Krytas had volunteered to join with the latest paladin in need of a wizard companion: Irist Erfin, a young man who showed potential to be a great paladin someday. Krytas had volunteered, however, more out of pity for the boy than any wish to go on a second Pilgrimage. The last thing Krytas wanted was to leave his family for five years, but nobody else had volunteered and Irist had been waiting for so long. So now Krytas was riding with Irist through the city streets on their way to the city gate.

“I would like to thank you again for partnering with me,” said Irist, breaking in on Krytas’s thoughts.

“You’re welcome,” replied Krytas. “I’m just glad to be able to give you the chance to become a true paladin.” Irist flashed his innocent smile in reply. He has no idea about the horrible things he’ll witness on this Pilgrimage, thought Krytas. Then again, they always expect the journey to be as simple as handing out a bit of change to the poor and waving their sword at thieves. They never expect the smell of disease or the sight of villages destroyed by bandits.

The slight sound of voices slipped into Krytas’s mind. He looked passed his horse’s head and saw the sight of the city gate of Gentire nearing. Standing near it was the usual crowd of people: family and friends, members of the guilds, strangers who had come to pay their respects. Krytas strained to see any sight of his family. This will be my last sight of my wife and daughters for five years, he thought forlornly.

Krytas and Irist reached the crowd. Immediately people crowded around the two men while shouting goodbyes and well wishes. Krytas ignored them all, frantically searching the mass of people for his family. Finally, he saw a brief glimpse of his youngest daughter, Sanba, sitting on her mother’s shoulders. He tried to cry out, but the voices of Irist’s rambunctious friends drowned out his own. Sanba caught sight of her father and began to wave frantically. Krytas was only able to raise his hand in reply.

Suddenly, before he had realized it, Krytas had left the crowd and the city. He was now officially on his second Pilgrimage.

“This slow trot is killing me,” Irist said only a few minutes later. “We started too late. We won’t get very far before nightfall if we continue at this pace.”

Krytas feared for the boy’s impatience, but nodded anyway. “Why don’t you go ahead? I’ll catch up later.” Irist smiled and spurred his horse into a gallop.

Krytas looked back at the city, only several yards back. He could probably run back to say goodbye to his family once more and return the road before Irist noticed he was gone. Krytas had almost turned around to do so when he saw Irist galloping back.

“Krytas!” Irist yelled. “You’ve got to come see something!” Krytas hurried his horse forward.

“What is it?” he asked when he neared.

“It’s a man,” Irist answered. “He’s injured.” Krytas followed the young paladin as he quickly hurried up the road. It was not too long after before they came across a man lying unconscious in the dirt. His left arm was gone at the shoulder.

Krytas got off his horse to examine the man further. He was barely alive. Severe burns covered the left side of the man’s body; his arm was completely burnt off. He wore the tattered remains of a military guard’s uniform.

“What do you think?” asked Irist. He took only fleeting glances at the man in the dirt, unable to look at the grievous injuries for long.

“No natural fire could do this,” replied Krytas. “This had to be done by a sorcerer. I can heal the burns, but we have to get him back to the Sanctuary for a closer examination as quickly as we can.”

Krytas was almost happy as began to cast his Light Magic spells; this would mean he would be able to stay in Gentire for a while longer. He’d have to thank this guard if he ever woke up.

***

The first problem overall is that I suck at explaning things like the Pilgrimage and such. It took me forever just to get those first few paragraphs up there, and they read more like a Star Wars opening crawl than someone's thoughts or something.

The rest also seems kind of awkward. I don't know... Maybe that's just me...

I don't know. Hopefully someone will actually help me out with this one *evil glare*


*shrugs and walks away*