Awesome Week - Day 4 Summary

[Dylflon]

June 25/2004

Day 4 was rather enjoyable.

After getting ready and preparing and consuming some Chunky Chicken Noodle soup I got ready and left for my date. I realized I ahd left too soon so I swung by Dyne's house for some last minute advice. I was still debating whether or not to buy Careasa's coffee for her. I wanted to keep it casual so I was wondering if buying her coffee would be weird.

I met Careasa at our meeting point and we started to walk to Starbucks. We talked the whole way there. On the way though, my friend Danielle pulls up right beside us with a giant grin on her face. I had previously told her of the date but she acted like she knew nothing of it and sparked up some small talk before driving away.

We continued talking and we then arrived at our destination. While looking calm I was going over stupid little things in my head. I was still debating the coffee thing. I had sort of a nervous charming thing going on which she liked. I made her laugh quite a bit. I decided to go up and get a coffee.

My main problem with Starbucks is that I don't know enough about coffee to know what's good or what I want. At a restaurant you ask for a coffee and the waitress brings you coffee. At Starbucks if you ask for a coffee they stare at you waiting for you to elaborate. I didn't want to stand there and look like an idiot especially considering there were people waiting behind me. So I picked something at random off the list. I chose a Caffe Latte. It was pretty good. I used to hate how bitter coffee is but now I actually like it.

She said, "I'll be right back" and went up to get hers.

Now, several people have said to me, "Why the hell didn't you buy her her drink." Allow me to explain the several reasons why I didn't. They all involved me avoding being or looking akward.

She blocked me by saying she'd be right back. She didn't give me a chance to say "Shall I buy you something?". I didn't want to catch her in mid stride to suggest I buy it for her. Plus if I went up and ordered it for her I'd look weird because I was just up there. I would have ordered it for her when I got up but she still didn't know what she wanted.
Besides, I think it was more casual this way.

We had some great conversations in the coffee shop. After we finished up our coffees we got up and left. I wasn't sure if I came off as cheap by not buying her a coffee. But I had my oppotunity to show I'm not cheap. There's this guy who hangs outside the liquor store by Starbucks palying the guitar. I put two bucks in his guitar case. I like giving money to the people who are doing things. Not just begging.

But we talked on the way back and she had other engagements and we went our seperate ways.

The date was nice and relaxed. Because we've known eachother for a while we were comfortable during the entire thing...or at least I was.

I hung out with Dyne for a bit and watched him play PSO3 online with Nemesis.

I left for home and then talked to Typhoid. I got my mom to drive us up to Future Shop. I bought two movies: High Fidelity and Once Upon a Time in Mexico. Typhoid picked up Driver 3. We watched High Fidelity. It's pretty good.

Soem thoughts on Driver 3:

-Vexxing difficulty level. It's hard. Each mission is a process of trial and error. You have to try new things and pull everything off flawlessly. One mistake can lead to mission failure.

-In game graphics are meh. Too many jaggies.

-Physics are sometimes boggling. My car went flipping through the air after hitting a small pile of debris. wtf?

But it still is an enjoyable game.

Day 5 is now here. I'm going to take it easy today. I'll give you all a brief summary tomorrow.

[Typhoid]

Like i was telling you yesterday, when you went up you should have casually said " do you want anything?"

You bought your stuff before her, so therefore you did have a chance to buy her something, but you just blew it.

Some types of girls talk tot heir friends and judge people on these types of things you know.

And dont say shes not that type of girl, because there is no way you could know.

Put it this way, all girls like things being bought for them, they hate spending their money, and frankly i am slightly happy to spend my money on girls. It makes me seem generous and nice, and not like an asshole.

But back to the matter at hand, you blew your "first impression"....date wise. You failed to buy her something, in the longrun it probably wont have much effect though.

But i told all of you this yesterday anyways.

Im off to go play Driv-three-r

[Dylflon]

I really don't think she'll read too much into it.

...she makes more money than me anyways.


Besides, we had a good time. If she had fun, I don't think I really blew my first impression.

[GameMaster]

Good job! Have you guys made any future dates?

[Vampyr]

I really don't think she'll read too much into it.

...she makes more money than me anyways.


Besides, we had a good time. If she had fun, I don't think I really blew my first impression.

I dont think you blew it either. From what I read, you handled it very well. You did have a chance to buy her drink, but you didnt know what she wanted. What if you had bought her something terrible? Not only would your first impression have been ruined, but everytime she thought of you she would be riminded of that unpleasent coffee taste in her mouth. There are some girls who like for the guy to take control and order their stuff for them, but most of the ones I know like to get what they want. So I think you did the right thing. And, if you had stopped her halfway up there to ask if you could buy it, it would be way to obvious that you were trying to impress her or make it a un-casual date.

However, had you both been at the register at the same time, things would probably have been different. In such a situation, you could have been like "What do you want?"

You described yourself as having this whole "charming" thing going on...and from my experiances, that's the best thing you can have. Because they will be attracted to you and there will be something about you that they like that they just cant put their finger on...

Anyway, good job. :)

[Typhoid]

There is one way to find out what she wanted, and apparently neither of you have bought anything for a girl before.

Before you walk up to but your thing, you could casually ask her " Do you want anything?"

Thus, she tells you what she wants, and then you do have the knowledge of what she wants.

[Dyne]

Well done; you took my advice and applied it knowingly to the context.

There's a bunch of other rules for attraction, but you've definitely nailed one: Confidence. By showing that you don't need to seek her acceptance and kiss up to her buying her a drink (which is not considered chivalry in most parts) you've triggered attraction. The drink is NOTHING. She's there to see you, not to be bought a drink. Some people don't realize.. women get bought drinks all the time. Some even despise it. And I can tell you, at the end of the night, they won't think that you're a jerk for not buying a drink, guaranteed. :) You want to be slotted into the LOVER category by being interesting, instead of the PROVIDER category, which buys the woman things she wants. Unfortunately, once you're slotted, it's very, very hard to move into the category, if not impossible. By nailing the formal "first impression" you've secured your category slot.

[Dylflon]

Some people don't realize...

Some people...like TYPHOID!

[Vampyr]

However, had you both been at the register at the same time, things would probably have been different. In such a situation, you could have been like "What do you want?"

There is one way to find out what she wanted, and apparently neither of you have bought anything for a girl before.

Before you walk up to but your thing, you could casually ask her " Do you want anything?"

:unsure:

And dyne is right...big time. heh. This one girl I went out with once actually bought me a pop. And some beef jerky....and some nacho's.

I'm pretty sure I've repaid it through the various pops I've bought her since then, though.

[Typhoid]

Im not saying i didnt realize it.

I talked to Dyne about this on MSN.

Its the fact you didn't even offer to do it. You just went up first without even saying anything. Im not saying do it all the god damn time.

Phil said on MSN that you want her to pull her own weight and pay for her own meals.

Hypothetical here, what if you went out to a restaurant, would you make her pay her half of the bill? Its called being nice, not asskissing. I buy my girl/friends and my guy friends things all the time, it doesnt mean im kissing there ass, it means im being nice and showing my friendship.

Phil also said you shouldnt go to a restaurant because its predictable, and girls dont like predictable guys.

I agree here, but after so long of being un-predictable, she wouldn't predict you asking her to go out to a restaurant. Correct? See, so after so long of being unpredictable, you have to change your views, or else some of them become slightly predictable.

Im not in any means disagreeing with him at all, i would just act like myself on a date, and apparently and "unfortunately" that involes buying things. And im sorry to say it works. Im not talking about buying every god damn thing for her, just from time to time, like ( for instance) a coffee or lunch.

Like Phil said, she came to see you, true. So why not go sit next to the dumpster in the alley? She came to see you, so the setting shouldnt matter. :p

All in all what i was saying a while ago was that it might have come off weird, because you said you ordered first, and didnt even stop to ask her if she even wanted a muffin or anything like that.


( And i dont know why you needed advice from him anyways. You've known her for a while, act normal. Don't say things you wouldnt say, do things you wouldnt do, wear things you wouldnt wear. I know its lame and tacky, but the best strategy to get a girl is dont care, and be yourself. Girls like guys who are themselves, they can tell when your doing /saying etc. something you dont normally do/say)

[Zaglar Ninja]

well if you have a second date, buy her something if the opportunity comes up and its not too expensive, well thats just my advice because it shows progression on your dates, and progression KICKS ASS!!!!!

P.S. you never told me you had a date with her!!!

[GameMaster]

Are you the villanous hacker on Dylflon's MSN account?

[Zaglar Ninja]

me? hell no, I'm one of his good friends

[Typhoid]

Are you the villanous hacker on Dylflon's MSN account?


He has a hacker?

[Dylflon]

Greetings Zaglar Ninja. I see you have managed to stealthfully infilltrate our boards.

[Zaglar Ninja]

yeah I "accidentally" killed 3 guards on the way in, might want to send letters to their families