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View Full Version : THE SINGLE, MOST EVIL NEWS THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED IN THE HISTORY OF GAMING!


Dark Samurai
01-09-2004, 11:45 PM
Source: http://www.savesega.com/

January 6, 2004

The time has come for every Sega fan across the globe to unite and save the company they love.

Starting February 17, 2004, Sega will begin a rapid descent to death and cease to exist as we know it. Sammy Corporation, another Japanese videogames company with games you may never have heard of, and its devil boss Hajime Satome, are going to KILL Sega by closing its famous and globally respected development studios, and by stealing its vast floor space in arcades across the world.

In December last year it was announced that Sammy bought 22.4% of Sega shares from parent company CSK, which had been wanting to offload its stock in Sega for some time (they didn't understand 1/60 G+K,K). This made Sammy the largest single shareholder. Destructive Satome-san has stated that he will buy more of Sega if necessary, using Sammy's vast cash stash. Make no mistake - this is THE hostile takeover of ultimate gaming evil.

He will use Sega's world-wide arcade floor space to increase the number of pointless Pachinko machines available to innocent consumers. Pachinko is something you may never have heard of before, because it's crap and nobody cares about it. But somehow Sammy still manages to make a lot of money from it. This fact has nothing whatsoever to do with money laundering scams inside the Japanese arcade business where yakuza criminal overlords pass cash through the system unchecked and uncounted.

He will execute Sega's legendary and beloved development talent, leaving only bare bones of what will be a faceless, miniscule development team, making crap games for Satome's other big idea, the Atomiswave arcade board. This arcade board is made from leftover Dreamcast components bought by Sammy on the cheap - they will be shipped to venues all over the third world and reportedly be profitable at ¥10 a play - around ten cents. This means Sammy is STEALING FROM THE HUNGRY.

He will also force loyal and peaceful Sega staff, who still need their jobs, to work on those ****ty Pachinko machines. Tetsuya Mizuguchi, the superstar creator of Sega Rally, Rez and Space Channel 5, has already left the company. Rikiya Nakagawa, another shining development leader behind such titles as The House of the Dead and Sega GT, has also left the company, because he too knows that SAMMY IS GOING TO BURN IT in a ritual of DEVIL WORSHIP.

It won't be long before the legendary line-up including Yu Suzuki (Virtua Fighter, Shenmue, OutRun), Yuji Naka (Sonic the Hedgehog, NiGHTS,, Phantasy Star Online) and Tosihiro Nagoshi (Super Monkey Ball, Daytona USA, Virtua Striker, and also chief pioneer of the Model 1 arcade board - the birth of 3D gaming in the first place) all leave the company and have their gold-dust software studios closed in a pathetic instant.

In fact, Sammy has already forced legendary Sonic creator Yuji Naka to make THIS ABSOLUTELY DISGRACEFUL MACHINE. Naka-san doesn't even play Pachinko. Why? BECAUSE IT'S ****.

Sega's fortunes were looking up as well, with a profits up 485% last year, and nagging debt to parent firm CSK being paid off steadily and honestly. It would soon have been fully back on its feet. Sega's ironman president Hisao Oguchi was leading Sega to the fortunes they deserve. But now Sammy is going to DESTROY HIM, and the company he loves with us.

But this is not just the death of some average company. It is the destruction of creativity, honour, justice and all HAPPY, FREE PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD. Just because Satome-san and his wretched, ****-green-logoed, passionless company is a Nikkei teacher's pet complete with shameful brown nose and a sheet of CHEATED numbers, doesn't mean he GETS TO RUIN THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO RED-BLOODED GAMES.

We're all up for business, entrepeneurs and all that, but we draw the line at hell-destined CHEATS like Satome and his pointless Sammy Corporation destroying the very principles on which business has carried out by honourable men since the dawn of time.

The blue logo of love and honour will be taken down from Sega's head office in Ohta-ku, Tokyo, and some insurance company will probably take the building of legend. The staff of Sega's international offices at Townsend Street in San Francisco and Chiswick in London will all be sacked and left to starve on the street.

It will be the saddest day in the history of the games business. You can forget any more Shenmue, Sonic or Virtua Fighter games, right now. You can forget the kind of original, innovative new hits we are used to seeing from Sega year after year regardless of hardships at the company's fourth floor management suite.

There have been threats to Sega's existence in the past. And pulling out of the hardware business a few years ago was saddening (yet promising). But unlike merger rumours with Sammy and Bandai, or even the prospect of purchase by people like quality-game-dedicated Microsoft, this is a REAL threat that spells DOOM for Sega, and is GOING TO HAPPEN unless we DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW.

We, the fans, will SAVE SEGA.

We will boycott the shareholder's meeting on February 17. We'll buy some shares. Nicely ask Ed Fries to save that which is holy. We'll get publicity and KILL SATAN, THE HIDEOUS SAMMY CORPORATION.

We put Sega before our own lives. It is a part of us, like a newborn baby. We SHALL NOT see our dearest child molested and murdered.

We, the fans, will rescue Sega from imminent death at the hands of Evil Sammy. It will be the ultimate triumph of the ongoing videogame war.

LET'S SAVE SEGA.

Contact us: frontline@savesega.com


Damn i wish that i wasnt the one who had to bring this to you guys but Sega our beloved Sega will die

it brings a tear really

though i loved all the sega games (especially the sonic ones) (and i know that im speaking in past-tense but it might happen) i dont think that all the fans of Sega will contribute enough money to bring sega back

not since Rare was bought by Microsoft, have i been this pissed off

Hero2
01-09-2004, 11:56 PM
DAMN THEM. The Company that I no we grew up with is now going to be a hunk of crap. if only I could win the lottery and buy some shares or is this just an ingenious ideal to get everyone to buy stock thus raisng the price of the stock and allowing him to sell the company for an outragous amount of money and laugh at all the crushed "Sega souls". Man he is evil mabey too evil.

Its fun to be insane.

DarkMaster
01-10-2004, 12:07 AM
BAH! Appox on thee! An outrage like I've never seen.


Maybe it's because I'm tired as hell and have had one too many coolers, but I say we go back in time and kill the grandfather of that evil Japanese guy, thus saving Christmas, or something like that. I think, uhm...yes, indeed.


Whee.

Rndm_Perfection
01-10-2004, 12:19 AM
OK, I read the first paragraph of that news article and entirely discredited the rest by not reading it.

Any news that sounds THAT lop-sided, cannot be accurate... and therefor not worth-while.

I love SEGA, but I'm not going to be bias enough to listen to the message of that article.

Jonbo298
01-10-2004, 01:17 AM
Pachinko games would be good in the US. But don't force Sega to only work on them. Hell, gaming is where they are. Not pachinko games. The Japanese love pachinko which is odd....:p

Dyne
01-10-2004, 02:22 AM
I'd really like to see Sega completely bought out by Nintendo. Nintendo's like the only company that wouldn't change Sega that much.

thatmariolover
01-19-2004, 03:08 PM
Wow. The really sad part is I've been googling this for like a half hour now and most of the stuff in that post is actually true...

www.sammy.co.jp

TheSlyMoogle
01-30-2004, 07:27 PM
Um... I thought that the president of Sega owned 45% of the company's stock? Um... I dunno. I don't really believe the article. Especially seeing as Sega plans on releasing PSO 3 in March. They also still have a ton of projects scheduled for release. I dunno though.

Jason1
01-30-2004, 09:27 PM
I really dont know what to think of this...Ive heard from various places that Sammy now own a majority stake in SEGA, making them control it basically. Wether or not they turn it into what that post describes, I dont know.