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Dylflon
09-21-2003, 07:24 PM
Prologue: The Partisans United Building

A man in a grey delivery uniform weaves and dodges through the mass of people who inhabit the hallway of the Partisans United building. He carries a small package making a point of not jostling it around. A woman in a green sweater bumps into the man startling him.

“Excuse me.” She smiles politely and continues walking.

Three men in business suits crowd around a water cooler talking very loudly about the exploits of their weekend. As the deliveryman passes by, one of them turns and bumps into him knocking the package out his hands. An expression of pure horror crosses the deliveryman’s face as the box hurdles towards a man speaking on a cell phone. The man notices the box just in time and cradles his phone between his ear and shoulder and catches the package. He nods at the deliveryman, hands him the package, and continues walking.

The deliveryman reaches his destination. He approaches a large office with a nice hickory door. A gold bar on the door reads. “J. Manicotti”. The deliveryman enters the room and sees Mr. Manicotti having a heated discussion on the phone. The deliveryman hands him a clipboard with a release form clipped to it. Manicotti signs it while yelling at the person on the other end on the phone. The deliveryman nods and exits the room. His pace quickens as he moves through the hallway. He opens the doors to the stairs and begins to run. He brushes past a man carrying a brief case almost knocking him over.

“Hey watch where you’re going, pal!”

He runs down the stairwell, which seems to extend downward forever in one continuous spiral. Sweat drips from his brow as he goes into a panicked state. He thinks to himself that he’s never going to make it out in time but at least he didn’t take the elevator; with all those stops he’d never make it. He’s makes it to the 10th floor and keeps running. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he makes it down to the bottom floor.

He exits the stairwell and sprints through the lobby. Confused onlookers watch as he runs past and pushes the main doors open. He runs into the street pushing down a woman that gets into his way. A black sedan pulls up on the street. The deliveryman gets in and the vehicle speeds away.

Exactly ten seconds after the vehicle leaves, a giant explosion rips through the top floors and engulfs more than half of the building. The building topples over leaving only a few of the lower floors intact and demolishing four city blocks.

In the black sedan the deliveryman takes off his uniform. A woman in the passenger seat of the sedan looks back and says, “Good work.”

The deliveryman nods and takes off his shirt revealing a scar from a bullet wound in his left arm.

Ginkasa
09-21-2003, 07:26 PM
Much better than the last one *thumbs up*

And not the least of which because I edited it ;)

j/k :p



*shrugs and walks away*

Dylflon
09-21-2003, 07:27 PM
Much better than the last one *thumbs up*

And not the least of which because I edited it ;)

j/k :p



*shrugs and walks away*

Wait...just kidding that it's only good because you proof read it...or just kidding I did a good job of writing it?

Ginkasa
09-21-2003, 07:28 PM
j/k about it only being good because I edited it...


*shrugs and walks away*

ZebraRampage
09-21-2003, 08:17 PM
I KNOW WHO THE "DELIVERY" GUY WAS!!!!!! But I won't say to spoil it for anyone else....as if it isn't obvious enough, lol. I just feel like being stupid like that right now...anyway, good job Dyflon, there was a lot of detail, and you could picture it in your head. I have no doubt that this story will be better, and it will be good. Good luck writing it.

DarkMaster
09-21-2003, 08:38 PM
That was really cool.



*spoilers I guess*

















I continue to kick ass :cool:

Ginkasa
09-21-2003, 08:53 PM
I don't know, you seem like a nervous little pawn who only does what people tells him to me.

But what do I know?


*shrugs and walks away*

Rndm_Perfection
09-21-2003, 09:10 PM
But what do I know?

Nothing.

First, he was put onto the island by force and managed to be the only one to get away alive. Then, he spearheads a revolt against the entire company. Single-handedly he walks a bomb into their "headquarters" (er, business building) and drops it off, risking his own life. Because he has little time and probably had absolutely no way to practice the escape route, he runs away with only 10 seconds of time left before the whole place engulfs in flames.

Nervous? How so, because he was running away from a bomb he planted to save himself?

Pawn? Of who, himself or the countless men he recruited?

Ginkasa
09-21-2003, 10:50 PM
It just seemed to me that he wasn't the head guy. If I wanted to to plant a bomb somewhere, I would get one of the "countless men" I recruited rather than do it myself.

There's not really a lot to go on in this chapter alone. That's just the way I interpreted it.

And I happen to know quite a lot thank you.


*shrugs and walks away*

Mechadragon
09-21-2003, 11:46 PM
It just seemed to me that he wasn't the head guy. If I wanted to to plant a bomb somewhere, I would get one of the "countless men" I recruited rather than do it myself.

There's not really a lot to go on in this chapter alone. That's just the way I interpreted it.

And I happen to know quite a lot thank you.


*shrugs and walks away*
If you know so much, then why the **** do you keep shrugging?

GameMaster
09-22-2003, 12:24 AM
How did DarkMaster get a bullet wound?

And where's the oracle old man in the wheelchair? ;)

Rndm_Perfection
09-22-2003, 09:00 AM
How did DarkMaster get a bullet wound?

While I payed no attention to details in the previous battle royale, I assume it was a wound from Surviving the Game (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/SurvivingtheGame-1050055/reviews.php)™... or should I say surviving The Game (http://www.gametavern.net/forums/member.php?u=405)™.

Dylflon
09-22-2003, 09:54 AM
While I payed no attention to details in the previous battle royale, I assume it was a wound from Surviving the Game (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/SurvivingtheGame-1050055/reviews.php)™... or should I say surviving The Game (http://www.gametavern.net/forums/member.php?u=405)™.

He got shot by Talbain in the last chapter of Battle Royale.

And Rndm got shot in the head by Talbain.

And Ginkasa got shot in the spine 3 times by talbain.

Not to mention Talbain killed The Germanator in the last chapter.

That was a productive chapter for Talbain.

GameMaster
09-23-2003, 12:03 AM
Found this on CNN:

"I laughed, I cried, I chuckled. Dylflon's second masterpiece. I await the final installment with great anticipation" - Steven Speilberg

Seth
09-23-2003, 12:28 AM
awww, gamemaster. You beat me to it. I was going to post that quote also. Oh well.



And, great intro Dyflon. Stop making me fall in love with you.

Dylflon
09-23-2003, 12:34 AM
awww, gamemaster. You beat me to it. I was going to post that quote also. Oh well.



And, great intro Dyflon. Stop making me fall in love with you.

Lol. That's the creepiest thing I have ever heard. BTW, what town do you live in?

ZebraRampage
09-23-2003, 07:31 PM
BTW, what town do you live in?

I don't want to know why you want to know that bit of information, seeing that bouncer_agb is a guy, but maybe my mind is just in the gutter...in the worst way possible. Okay I'll shut up now.

Dylflon
09-23-2003, 07:44 PM
I don't want to know why you want to know that bit of information, seeing that bouncer_agb is a guy, but maybe my mind is just in the gutter...in the worst way possible. Okay I'll shut up now.

I was curious because we both live in BC. I was just wondering.

Dyne
09-23-2003, 08:48 PM
Good work, can't wait to read the rest.

Seth
09-23-2003, 08:49 PM
Kelowna area :wink:

Dyne
09-23-2003, 08:54 PM
Do you go to..... KSS? Are you in the music program? Our high school went last year to the Jazz Festival and KSS swooped the whole awards. It was rigged. :distress:

ZebraRampage
09-23-2003, 09:22 PM
I was curious because we both live in BC. I was just wondering.

lol Okay, I thought there was an explaination behind it...don't mind my weird comments like that...I don't really mean them, though I guess you kind of knew that.

Blackmane
09-24-2003, 02:20 PM
Excellent intro, keep up the good work.

Hopefully, I don't die early. :distress:

BTW, how often do you plan to post new installments?

Dylflon
09-24-2003, 03:24 PM
Excellent intro, keep up the good work.

Hopefully, I don't die early. :distress:

BTW, how often do you plan to post new installments?

I don't ahve a set time to release each installment. I write when I have time. Then comes the editing process. Lots o' work. Be patient young padawan.

Vampyr
09-24-2003, 06:03 PM
Great prologue. I agree that it is better than the previous one, I like the added use of adjectives. :)

Keep up the good work, young grasshopper.