Xantar
02-05-2002, 01:13 PM
Where else can you find the latest examples of laughable stupidity? Well, you can go over to Darwin Awards, but then you don't have me picking out the best stories for you.
12 October 2001, Finland *|* A group of friends was stranded beside the freeway when their automobile ran out of gas. The weather was terrible, and despite their frantic efforts, nobody would stop to help them. Eventually one member of the group became so frustrated that he stomped to the middle of the freeway and sprawled out across the road. His friends tried to get him to move, but he yelled back, “I could sleep here…” He was hit by an Audi sports car and dragged 60 meters to his death.
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(11 October 2001, Tennessee) Eight freshman college students were hanging around a vacant library late one night, when they decided it would be a thrill to leap into a small opening they thought was a laundry chute.
Perhaps a few more years of college would have helped them realize that libraries don’t often have laundry chutes. It was actually a garbage chute feeding directly into an automatic trash compactor. 19-year-old Wesley was the first to jump, and he enjoyed an exhilarating three-story slide before being crushed to death in the rubbish bin below.
The other students decided not to follow.
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(23 October 1993, Illinois) A police officer was trying to show another patrolman how their fellow officer accidentally killed himself, by reenacting the shooting incident a week later. But the 20-year veteran forgot to unload his .357 Magnum and wound up shooting himself in the stomach. He died in a car crash while driving himself to the hospital.
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Personal account
(April 98, Canada) Some people talk smart but act like future Darwin Award winners. I had just emerged from my high school chemistry class, not my best subject. On my way to the cafeteria, I was joined by Mr. Junior Einstein, who was happily spouting chemical gibberish. He began pontificating on the reactions caused by adding heat to certain elements such as neon and aluminum. Once we reached the cafeteria, he nonchalantly placed his food in the microwave oven. As it cooked, Einstein explained that aluminum can explode when heated sufficiently. As he talked, I began to detect the faint scent of smoke in the air, which I mentioned to my guest lecturer. As we turned towards the microwave, his jaw dropped low enough to accommodate a rack of test tubes. His dish of food was blazing. One second later the oven was rocked by a loud Kablaam! This candidate for an Honorable Mention suddenly discovered that theoretical knowledge does not equal practical wisdom. The chemistry lesson he learned in the cafeteria was far more valuable: "Don't mix aluminum foil with heat!"
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12 October 2001, Finland *|* A group of friends was stranded beside the freeway when their automobile ran out of gas. The weather was terrible, and despite their frantic efforts, nobody would stop to help them. Eventually one member of the group became so frustrated that he stomped to the middle of the freeway and sprawled out across the road. His friends tried to get him to move, but he yelled back, “I could sleep here…” He was hit by an Audi sports car and dragged 60 meters to his death.
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(11 October 2001, Tennessee) Eight freshman college students were hanging around a vacant library late one night, when they decided it would be a thrill to leap into a small opening they thought was a laundry chute.
Perhaps a few more years of college would have helped them realize that libraries don’t often have laundry chutes. It was actually a garbage chute feeding directly into an automatic trash compactor. 19-year-old Wesley was the first to jump, and he enjoyed an exhilarating three-story slide before being crushed to death in the rubbish bin below.
The other students decided not to follow.
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(23 October 1993, Illinois) A police officer was trying to show another patrolman how their fellow officer accidentally killed himself, by reenacting the shooting incident a week later. But the 20-year veteran forgot to unload his .357 Magnum and wound up shooting himself in the stomach. He died in a car crash while driving himself to the hospital.
--------------------------------------------
Personal account
(April 98, Canada) Some people talk smart but act like future Darwin Award winners. I had just emerged from my high school chemistry class, not my best subject. On my way to the cafeteria, I was joined by Mr. Junior Einstein, who was happily spouting chemical gibberish. He began pontificating on the reactions caused by adding heat to certain elements such as neon and aluminum. Once we reached the cafeteria, he nonchalantly placed his food in the microwave oven. As it cooked, Einstein explained that aluminum can explode when heated sufficiently. As he talked, I began to detect the faint scent of smoke in the air, which I mentioned to my guest lecturer. As we turned towards the microwave, his jaw dropped low enough to accommodate a rack of test tubes. His dish of food was blazing. One second later the oven was rocked by a loud Kablaam! This candidate for an Honorable Mention suddenly discovered that theoretical knowledge does not equal practical wisdom. The chemistry lesson he learned in the cafeteria was far more valuable: "Don't mix aluminum foil with heat!"
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