fingersman
10-20-2002, 11:05 AM
When his .38-caliber revolver failed to fire at its intended
victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. Happily for most concerned, this time
it worked.
>>>
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>>>
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his nsurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine
out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
>>>
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A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his
car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find
a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her dead.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************
>>>
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone in the queue a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************
>>>
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked about how he received the injuries, the lad told police that
he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a
moving train before he was hit.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************
>>>
A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say
"Gimme a break lady! Your daughter is pregnant."
The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor
that her daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy.
The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.
The mother became enraged and screamed,
"Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?"
"Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that the
last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three
wise men came. I was hoping they would show up again and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant."
victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. Happily for most concerned, this time
it worked.
>>>
>>>***********************************************************
>>>
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his nsurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine
out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his
car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find
a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her dead.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************
>>>
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus-stop and offered everyone in the queue a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************
>>>
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked about how he received the injuries, the lad told police that
he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a
moving train before he was hit.
>>>
>>>*************************************************************
>>>
A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say
"Gimme a break lady! Your daughter is pregnant."
The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor
that her daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy.
The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon.
The mother became enraged and screamed,
"Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?"
"Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that the
last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three
wise men came. I was hoping they would show up again and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant."