Never Ending Story "Penguin's Version"

[BreakABone]

Well since these forum has about as much active as Xantar's dorm room. I decided to attempt to breathe some life into this forum by bringing back a classic from the past or atleast something extremely old. Just some rules to help against spamming.

-Your post has to contain atleast one full sentence and then another one in which you can use to have the next person progress the story.

-You can only reply after 3 people have replied to your last post so that the story isn't influenced too much by one person. Unless, the last post was 3 days old and you are trying to keep the story active.

Anyhow, the start of the story:

In the doors walked a tall, dark figure. As the figure moved deeper into the bar, the customers moved to avoid him. It was the return of...

[Xantar]

CamFu!

"What the hell has happened here?!?" he roared in his deep, menacing voice. His shiny, bald head turned this way and that as he glared at his surroundings. And no wonder. His beloved forum had become...

[Perfect Stu]

a giant pile of horse sh|t. Flies everywhere, pieces of unchewed food, it was disgusting. But the only hope that was left to save this once heaven-like place was a little something called...

[Jason1]

Deathshands post count. If he gets enought ''posts'' (post get), the forum will return to normal, no more stinking pile of horse poop. But Deathshand has a problem...

[Ginkasa]

.....he's lost all his posts in the crap! He digs and digs but he can't find them! Suddenly, Deathshand jumps up and yells...

[Perfect Stu]

"I'm ghey! Men are teh sexy. Oh ya, and I just sucked up all the crap with a vaccum."

So finally everyone got to see what was underneith all the crap. What remained was an unbelievable sight. "Look!" said Angrist, "it's Pokemon!!! :D YAY!!!!" Joeiss sighed in disgrace and said "No, you idiot.....it's-

[Drunk Hobbit]

"...a sewer rat dyed yellow by some of those crazy Yu-Gi-Oh obsessed kids." Angrist picked up the rat and cradling it in his arms fed it some of the milkbones he usually kept in his pocket. Without warning the rat who Angrist affectionately named "Stinkapoo" suddenly...

[DarkMaster]

....was hit by an on coming car. DH could be heard laughing all throughout the forums. Crono feverishly begged DH to share some of the massive amounts of sweet sweet dblns he held to his name. After many attempts of failing to bribe DH into sharing the goods, Crono simply said...

[Xantar]

"Share the goods or the game gets it!" He then seized Deathshand's copy of Silent Hill.

"Nooooooo!" Deathshand cried. "I likes me Silent Hill! Don't kill it! I'll give you whatever you want."

Mission accomplished, Crono realized that he had forgotten what he had wanted these doubloons for. "Neo!" he shouted, "What was I trying to do?"

And Neo replied...

[Professor S]

"Buy hookers" Neo replied. They then flew to Vegas and found four of the nastiest wgores they could find. After all, what kind of hooker takes fictional only money.

"This is the best time ever" Then he looked in his pants a found a pussey open sore. The hookers had given him...

[Doctor Zhivago]

AIDs. He now only had ten years left to live (That's what happens when you mess with whores). So Neo pulled out a machete and slaughtered those four hookers like pigs. Then Crono cried out.....

[DarkMaster]

"i'm hungry, lets go eat some pie" so neo and crono went to the nearest pie store place. but along the way they found a dying penguin on the sidewalk. the penguin said...

[Perfect Stu]

"those damned dirty whores got to you too, didn't they? yeah, those b|tches have more STDs than 25 alphabets...and one looked like a beaver. I should have remembered my fathers famous saying: 'never let a beaver near thy wood'"

Suddenly, GAMETAVERN'S Penguin (BaB) walked onto the scene to the upbeat sounds of the Begee's "Stayin Alive". He simply proclaimed,

[Ginkasa]

"Hey." BAB walked past Neo, Crono, and the penguin. When BAB left, the trio went down to an AIDS Help Center. When they entered the AIDS Help Center they found none other than...

[Crono]

BLueFire!!! "what the hell you doin in a AIDS help center, Geo?" said Crono. "Hell if I know!" BF replied. "Well you see...I have a problem...I have AIDS." said Crono. "What the hell do you think this is? An AIDS help center?? You idiot." BF replied. "Uh...yeah" said Crono. "Well, whatever...meh." said BF.

When Crono and Neo reached the doctor's office...they found that the doctor was actually another member of GT...it was...

[Xantar]

It was Xantar!!!

Unfortunately, Xantar isn't a real doctor. Not yet, anyway. But he was the best that the financially strapped AIDS clinic could have done. That didn't really increase Crono's confidence in the clinic, but so it goes...

"Hey there!" Xantar said cheerfully. "Here, Neo. Read some fanfics while I take a look at Crono. Crono, why don't you just hop right up on that table there, that's it."

Once Crono was sitting on the examination table, Xantar proceeded to...

[Doctor Zhivago]

slap his ass with a dead monkey. "Dude, what the hell!?" Crono screamed out. Why are you slapping my ass with a dead monkey?" "Sorry," Xantar responded, "I never went to medical school and you can only learn so much about AIDs treatment from the Gametavern forums. Would you care for a lollypop?" "Hell no, Crono screamed "I don't want a damn lollypop! I want to know who's running this goddamn clinic!" "Oh," exclaimed Xantar, "you want to know who calls the shots around here, huh?" Damn right I do" screamed Crono. "Well," he started "that would be our head fake doctor, FreakyBob." FreakyBob steps out from the shadows and says..........

[Perfect Stu]

"I enjoy talking to inanimate objects!!!!" Soon, the chirping of crickets could be heard in the near distance.

Freakybob walked around the room, staring at paintings to which he referred to as 'flingalings'. Crono and Xantar looked at him with this exact look: :unsure:

Then, out of the blue, a child's voice was heard yelling:

[BreakABone]

"What the hell has happened to my story," and out walked a clone of BaB.
"bAB has more pressing matters to attend to but he wanted to make sure that this AIDs storyline be dropped." He wants Hot Lesbain Action!!!!!!!!!

And you got 3 minutes to find it. "Did I just hear someone say 3 mins?!?!?" came a voice....

[Doctor Zhivago]

*notices that no one's posted in over twenty hours* *decides to break rules*

It was deep voice of none other than James Earl Jones. "Oh, my God," Xantar gasped, "James Earl Jones! The James Earl Jones! Wait...who's James Earl Jones?" At this, James Earl Jones gave Xantar a stern look. "Surely you've heard of me!" he shouted, amazed at the very idea of someone not knowing who he is. "Nope," Xantar replied while sucking on a lollipop, "I don't know who you are or why you're here." "FreakyBob wrote me into the story because it was getting boring" he said. "I came here to deliver some lesbian porn to BreakABone. And, by the way, I was the voice of Darth Vadar and Mufasha from the Lion King (Coyotes could be heard singing in the background)." "Um...okay" Crono muttered. This is really going nowhere. It would be nice if something interesting would happen in this story once in a while." At that very moment, a thin, girlie white boy entered the room. "My sons," he began, " It is I, Jesus, the messiah, you're lord and savior." Neo put down his fan fics and walked over to Jesus. "Alright, Jesus," he sighed, "Why are you here? No one's reading this, anyway." "I come bearing gifts" came his response. Jesus then reached into his pockets and pulled out a deck of rare Poke'mon cards. He handed them out to everyone and simply said "enjoy." He then ascended into Heaven, never to be seen again. FreakyBob wakes up from a long nap on the couch. "Holy Crap," he screamed in terror, "Is this still going on!?" Then BreakABone said..........

[ClownofDespair]

....."I was born with both male and female sex organs." At this, everyone gave BreakABone a look of confusion :wtf: Then Neo said.....