Spiteful Bitches

[TheSlyMoogle]

So...

To keep a long story short, anyone know a good way to deal with spiteful bitches?

[Professor S]

Give them an upper-decker: Take a dump in the tank part of a toilet.

[Combine 017]

Depends what they did. Is there a common theme going on here?

[Teuthida]

It depends on the model of the bitch you have, but on the lower back around the fifth lumbar vertebra there should be a little dial branded with a small cursive 'S'. Turn it, I would say maybe three times counterclockwise, to release any excess spite. Be sure to do this outdoors and away from flammable material.

[Typhoid]

I think there is some type of pressure release inside the vagina, so when you get a dick in there to press that button - then all the spiteful-bitch-gas tends to escape. Pressure will keep building up, though. So you're going to need to keep pushing that button.

[Neo]

So...

To keep a long story short, anyone know a good way to deal with spiteful bitches?

Treat them like you would a bratty little sister. Call her a "little girl" who needs a spanking. And if you're feeling brave, you can offer to be one to administer the spanking.

[Bond]

So...

To keep a long story short, anyone know a good way to deal with spiteful bitches?
But I want the long story... :(

[Professor S]

Seriously... take a dump in her toilet tank. It's a nightmare.

[Fox 6]

Replace birth control pills with sweet tarts.

[Teuthida]

Seriously... take a dump in her toilet tank. It's a nightmare.

Methinks there's a story behind this suggestion.

[Professor S]

Methinks there's a story behind this suggestion.

Long story short: The year after I graduated college the school condemned my frat house (with good reason) and turned it into a co-ed dorm. When I visited over homecoming, I saw the females had duct-taped a line between the "boys" and "girls" side of the bathroom, so the boys wouldn't "mess it up with all their boyness, tee hee!"

So I upper-decked the shit out of their toilet.

[Neo]

The best way to deal with women is to think of them as a walking life support system for their vagina.

[Swan]

Bitches be crazy yo!

[TheSlyMoogle]

The Long Story was my friend... We'll call her Lesbian number 1, and another friend... We'll call her bi-sexual number 1, had a summer fling over the summer of 2011. Now they are my roommates, and bi-sexual number 1 was jealous of lesbian number 1's new girlfriend, even though bi-sexual number 1 has fucked at least 15+ guys since august of 2011. Those are 15 that I know about since she moved in around November.

Anyway Lesbian number 1 never said a fucking word about any of this, and other than being visibly jealous, nothing was said.

The moment Lesbian number 1 got a girlfriend, and bi-sexual number 1 found out and met her...

Hell broke loose. Lots of mean and hurtful things were said, and lies told. In the end I ended up kicking bi-sexual number 1 out of my house as I really didn't need the drama or the extra help paying rent. So... Problem solved.

And if anyone thinks I'm being cruel I've only know bi-sexual number 1 since July of 2011, and half the time I enjoyed her company and the other half of the time I wanted to shoot her. Lesbian number 1 and I have been very good friends for like 6 years now however.

[Combine 017]

Jeez moogle what is wrong with you...

You should have just shot her.

[Fox 6]

What a house of dirty dirty sin. :p

[KillerGremlin]

This is why you don't live with friends or people you fuck casually. I've seen people who are best friends go live with each other, and 6 months later come out hating each others guts. I have close friends who I probably wouldn't want to live with...just because I feel like little things would eventually drive us nuts down the line.

I'm not saying it can't or won't work...but I call this the "Freshman Friend Fucker-Upper." Saw that shit way too much in college. It's probably less of an issue when you have separate rooms in an apartment...but you still shit and eat.

Also, 15 dicks? Jesus. That's a statistical nightmare in terms of contracting something.

[ZebraRampage]

I'm not saying it can't or won't work...but I call this the "Freshman Friend Fucker-Upper." Saw that shit way too much in college. It's probably less of an issue when you have separate rooms in an apartment...but you still shit and eat.

That's a good point. I had a lot of friends during my freshman year of college, and a lot of things changed between them all after that. Some of them lived together sophomore year as well, and things were even more fucked up afterward.

[TheSlyMoogle]

Well I've lived with friends since pretty much the age of 18 and this is the first time things had ever gotten fucked up.

There had been arguments and tiffs before but nothing like this.

Generally have always gotten along with roommates as long as we all had our own rooms and the likes. Also usually split the cost of food and other things with my roommates as I generally always find myself cooking for 4 regardless of the situation, so might as well split the dinner bill.

Also it's not bad as long as you keep a pretty open dialogue about things such as "Hey Jaison you made a mess in the kitchen you should probably clean that up bro."

A day later "Jaison, for real, clean that shit up."

Then if things still don't get clean or whatever you usually get all roommates involved in the bitch-fest.

Everyone is different though, and I tend to let petty shit like that slide, because honestly sometimes I don't clean up stuff the moment I make messes either.

Having roommates who are friends is great as long as everyone takes care of themselves. It's always nice to have friends at home, you're rarely ever bored, and there's usually always someone to share a case of beer with :D

[Neo]

I've been involved with so much lesbian drama, I could write a book about it. And then another book about why I was involved with it.

[TheSlyMoogle]

I've been involved with so much lesbian drama, I could write a book about it. And then another book about why I was involved with it.

It's not gay if it's in a 3-way.

[Typhoid]

It's not gay if it's in a 3-way.

Thank God.
Now I can tell Steve and Kevin to stop worrying.

[TheSlyMoogle]

Thank God.
Now I can tell Steve and Kevin to stop worrying.

Well now that's pretty gay, just because it involves you.

[Typhoid]

Well now that's pretty gay, just because it involves you.

Your mom said I fucked like a faggot.

[Neo]

Your mom said I fucked like a faggot.

Your mom didn't say anything cuz her mouth was full.

[TheSlyMoogle]

Your mom said I fucked like a faggot.

She was quite correct. Your mom said I fucked better than Earl... I guess I've got that going for me.