F*ed Up

[Teuthida]

I normally don't curse but how fucked up is this?

So my best and only friend from high school has been talking about going on a roadtrip with me for the past eight years. Now I don't use Facebook but my mom for some reason is his friend on the blasted site. She asks me if I'm going with him on the roadtrip, because he says he's all set to go. Hmm, I think to myself. I wonder what this is about. I haven't heard anything from him about it in over a month. I reactivate my account to check it out. He left on a cross country roadtrip that I was suppose to be on, with my recently ex-girlfriend instead of me. Fuuuuuuccckkked up.

[Angrist]

:confused:
Yeah that is pretty messed up. They don't seem to care one bit about your feelings... :(

Good luck with dealing with those emotions...

[BreakABone]

Ahh I didn't know how badly it would effect you, figured you would just brush it off.

Sorry to hear, and yeah it is kind of messed up.

[Bond]

That's pretty lame of your friend... kind of adding insult to injury. I suppose your next action depends upon how much you value your friendship with that guy from high school - whether or not you try to repair the relationship or forget it.

[Combine 017]

I say you walk up to him, say "fuck you!" and punch him in the mouth.

[KillerGremlin]

Your friend and your ex are probably just going on a Cross Country Sexcapade. A CCS is where you go across the country and see how many states and how many weird positions you can do it in.

Seriously though, why is everyone assuming the worst. Maybe Teuthida's friend and his ex are planning some awesome surprise for him and they are going cross country to get the best cake and the craziest strippers who have ever walked across a room naked in nothing but boots that you can find in this American Pie lovin' country of ours.

[Vampyr]

But the cake is a lie.

[Dylflon]

But the cake is a lie.

YOU'RE A LIE!

You keep leaving and coming back only to leave once more and break my heart all over again.

[Seth]

Your best, and only friend from HS. I'd put space between you and this 'friend'. If he wants to apologize, it's up to you, but don't let them play with you because based on their actions it doesn't seem likely that they give much of a damn beyond themselves. doesn't sound like your postHS relationship with this 'friend' is all that solid anyway. I just let my ex back into my life as a friend....lol ya right. she acted like she wanted a post relationship platonic thing, but it was an act. She's been headplaying me for months...so a couple weeks ago I just stopped bothering...bothering to get jerked around by some girl's idea of a life.

She's got your number bro. don't take it personally. Its an amoral world with way too much insecurity doggin on everyone's mind. There's good people to meet so don't get too down.

[Professor S]

Instantly burned bridge. If your "friend" is willing to go off on a cross-country trip, the one he planned with you, with your EX, he really doesn't give two shits about you. Even if you forgive him know he'll ALWAYS put his libido before your friendship and that is someone you can't trust.

[Angrist]

So.... any news? Care to share your feelings, have they changed a bit?

[KillerGremlin]

So, pardon me for being a dick. But I'm gonna be blunt. I'm not in any position to be criticizing your best friend or your exgirlfriend without getting your non-abbreviated version of the story. Not to call BS or you one-sided, but in 99.9% of these stories there are two sides and one side gets underrepresented. It might be different if I knew you better or knew your web of friends, but this is some forum on some website across the anonymous Interwebz.

I mean don't get me wrong, Teuthida. I sympathize with your situation and I think it sucks. And I agree with most of the given advice...if it went down as cold and ruthless as you said, then you might want to consider axing that friendship with your best friend since he is pushing some major boundary issues. But still gotta ask:

-How did your best friend come to know your Ex-Girlfriend? Was anything ever going on there that you might have missed? Did they ever hang out before? WHY did they hang out?

-How come you don't communicate with your best friend more? Shit, my best friend goes to a different college but with texting and cellphones I talk to him at least a few times a week. Even if it is just a text or if we just share a dumb joke or something.

-Why is your mom getting involved with your intimate social business? I guess this one isn't as important.

So my best and only friend from high school

Do tell, why did you hate your high school life. (I'm assuming) :p Here's a topic I think I can relate to with you on to some extent.

Now, I know it is totally rude to pry into your personal life. But you wanted some attention, hence you made this nifty thread. So I'm just keeping the wheels moving here in what I consider a pretty natural progression. I will not submit to giving any clear-cut instructions or advice without getting a better explanation of your story though.

[Bond]

KG is Dan Savage in disguise!

[KillerGremlin]

KG is Dan Savage in disguise!

But I like vaginas, lol. :p

[Teuthida]

Yeah sure. I was being very one sided.

Well I actually met her through him. At the time he was pining for her but she wasn't into him so they just remained friends. He has more female than male friends anyway. And I'm pretty sure this trip of theirs is platonic.

It mostly hit me hard because I have very very few friends and I was always ok with that thinking those I had were very close.

He had recently (well months and months because I broke up with mine) broken up with his own girlfriend and was pretty messed up over it. I talked with him about it for hours and hours hanging out with him and letting him sleep over so that he wouldn't be alone and do something stupid as he was wont to do.

I also tried to remind friends with my ex after we broke up but I just couldn't do it.

The two of them started seeing each other very frequently. Whenever I asked what they've been up to, they were always with each other. They both said they liked hanging out with each other for support coming off their relationships. Meanwhile I had no one to talk to. I felt a bit betrayed with all my time spent helping him get over his breakup while he just hung out with my ex.

And then they take this trip that I was suppose to go on that we've been talking about doing for years. It's like they both replaced me with each other.

I kind of wish he was just a dick and went on a CCS as you called it. It would be less pathetic for me. Was always content being a hermit but now I have the realization I'm really alone. And considering I'm no longer at school and freelance from home, no idea how to make new friends.




And if wanna go into why I'm so friendless besides being severely antisocial:

EDIT: And deleted. That got a little too personal for my liking. But it helped me work out how I got to where I am. Nothing ever good comes from transferring to art schools.

[Combine 017]

Well I actually met her through him. At the time he was pining for her but she wasn't into him so they just remained friends.

Been there before, he most likely still liked her and he probably felt betrayed that you got with her.

[Professor S]

Yeah sure. I was being very one sided.

Well I actually met her through him. At the time he was pining for her but she wasn't into him so they just remained friends. He has more female than male friends anyway. And I'm pretty sure this trip of theirs is platonic.

He was pining for her? Does he have a penis? If this trip is platonic it's not his decision, it's hers, and he simply has no game.

The two of them started seeing each other very frequently. Whenever I asked what they've been up to, they were always with each other. They both said they liked hanging out with each other for support coming off their relationships. Meanwhile I had no one to talk to. I felt a bit betrayed with all my time spent helping him get over his breakup while he just hung out with my ex.

Even if this is platonic, how is it right? He decides to spend all his time with your ex-girlfriend to get over his break-up? And she is hanbging out with HIM even though you didn't maintain a friendship??? Explain to me how this guy can call himself your friend? This sounds absurd at face value.

And then they take this trip that I was suppose to go on that we've been talking about doing for years. It's like they both replaced me with each other.

He's a dick in a glass case. When in need of dick, she'll break the glass.

I kind of wish he was just a dick and went on a CCS as you called it. It would be less pathetic for me. Was always content being a hermit but now I have the realization I'm really alone. And considering I'm no longer at school and freelance from home, no idea how to make new friends.

People who are betrayed are not pathetic. Those that betray are pathetic, and have no sense of loyalty or even know what a true relationship/friendship is.

Regardless of any background story surrounding this short of him revenge f*%king your GF because you banged-out his ex, he's wrong. There is shit you simply DO NOT DO to friends when it comes to their exes. Reason: Even if this is platonic, which 90% it is not, he still made this decision knowing how it would affect you, or not caring enough to think about how it would affect you.

This is not someone you can have a close relationship friendship with.

[KillerGremlin]

Yeah sure. I was being very one sided.

Well I actually met her through him. At the time he was pining for her but she wasn't into him so they just remained friends. He has more female than male friends anyway. And I'm pretty sure this trip of theirs is platonic.

So your friend hooked you up with the girl he was secretly in love with for a while? I guess that's cool...I'm sure you and your best friend were both in belief that he had no feeling for her or had moved onto the "just friends stage."

How did you break up with this girl, or why? Was it mutual?

It mostly hit me hard because I have very very few friends and I was always ok with that thinking those I had were very close.
Yeah...I mean your Ex and your BF aren't being very considerate...maybe he's not doing it knowingly though. Guys are incredibly stupid. Especially when they use their penis as a compass. I mean a roadtrip with a girl he used to be in love with? Spending unlimited 1 on 1 time with her? Guys have done dumber things when they were thinking with their dick.

He had recently (well months and months because I broke up with mine) broken up with his own girlfriend and was pretty messed up over it. I talked with him about it for hours and hours hanging out with him and letting him sleep over so that he wouldn't be alone and do something stupid as he was wont to do.

Wow, sounds like his breakup with his GF was pretty rough. Lol was she nutty?

I also tried to remind friends with my ex after we broke up but I just couldn't do it.
I'm with Seth on this one....it's hard to stay friends with someone you were intimate with. I mean I'm not saying it isn't possible but usually it isn't.

The two of them started seeing each other very frequently. Whenever I asked what they've been up to, they were always with each other. They both said they liked hanging out with each other for support coming off their relationships. Meanwhile I had no one to talk to. I felt a bit betrayed with all my time spent helping him get over his breakup while he just hung out with my ex.

And then they take this trip that I was suppose to go on that we've been talking about doing for years. It's like they both replaced me with each other.
Yeah that's bogus. They're crossing boundaries, especially your best friend. Have you expressed your feeling about this to him? I mean you really shouldn't have to, but sometimes you need to remind people about their shitty behavior.

I kind of wish he was just a dick and went on a CCS as you called it. It would be less pathetic for me. Was always content being a hermit but now I have the realization I'm really alone. And considering I'm no longer at school and freelance from home, no idea how to make new friends.

You're a writer and an artist. Go to an art show or a convention. Put your stuff out there. Try online dating (but be honest when you do it). Meet people through your passions and hobbies. Sure you're a weirdo but who isn't.


And if wanna go into why I'm so friendless besides being severely antisocial:

EDIT: And deleted. That got a little too personal for my liking. But it helped me work out how I got to where I am. Nothing ever good comes from transferring to art schools.

You can't be that antisocial. You seem more interesting than a lot of people over the Internet. There's nothing wrong with being a picky people person. I personally value a few good friendships over many shallow ones myself. I have good friends and I have acquantinces.

Anyway...your Ex may not be interested in your best friend at all. That is to say she may not want to pursue a relationship with him. Maybe she wants to have self-esteem boosting rebound sex, but I highly doubt that. She probably is using him as a shoulder to vent all her problems on. You know she didn't want to hook up with him before, back when he was pining over her. So she probably doesn't want to hook up with him now. Girls....when they want to be just friends, it usually stays that way. It sounds like he's her emotional doormat right about now. You don't want to be that guy, it's the worst situation possible. You kiss a girl's ass because you want to hook up with her and she tells you about all the guys she dates.

Your friend is crossing some boundary issues though and that's not cool. You could try talking to him or even take some of the harsher advice in this thread, but realize it might compromise your friendship.

And again...go to a comic convention or something. Just get out there. In this day and age there are tons of hermit comic lovin' girls who would love to have a cup of coffee with you and share drawings or something.

[Swan]

Well it seems the only solution it this situation is revenge

[Ric]

I will start by saying 'Dude, that guy is not your friend! You can count your friends on one hand and he aint one of them'

I say you walk up to him, say "fuck you!" and punch him in the mouth.

:lol:

Well it seems the only solution it this situation is revenge


Personally I would kick the guys teeth out.

Then I would go and fuck the girls best girlfriend... or her sister. Thats the only way to get back at a bitch. Oh and I would call her a whore too.

Nuff said.

[C.H]

I have to concur with Professor S on this. Don't spend to much time wondering about rights and wrongs of the situation, friendship requires communication, and even if your 'friend' had a thing for your ex while you were with her, he could have talked to you about it before pissing over your long time planned roadtrip, as someone else said, somethings you don't do. Take it as a lesson, cut ties, perhaps deal with a period of lonelyness, but your self esteem will be better in the long run if you don't allow your 'friend' to grovel and justify what he's done so you can still hangout.