View Full Version : Mule vs. Beaver
Professor S
03-12-2009, 03:21 PM
http://samshaw.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/mule_061003102658077_wideweb__300x400.jpg
VS
http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Animals/NorthAmerica/images/LargeBeaverPhoto.jpg
Teuthida
03-12-2009, 03:44 PM
Kick from mule = dead beaver. The passive paddletail hasn't a chance. Maybe if it were smarter and given a motive it could time a tree falling on a mule.
No contest.
Have you ever seen the size of a mule's dick? Go to a zoo some time and wait around for an hour or two.
I can't believe this is going head-to-head!
Professor S
03-12-2009, 05:00 PM
Play by Play!
Mule comes out kicking, but can't find the Beaver. Silence rules the air, until there is a sound of timbers cracking. With mild agility, Mule barely avoids a falling tree, but he's caught by a branch! DOWN GOES MULE!
Beaver begins to celebrate, jumping up and down in all his furry glory, but it is premature as Mule is back on his feet and *CRACKABADOOM!!* Beaver is punted into the river and Mule wades in to finish the job. But the river is Beaver's natural habitat! Could this be a fatal mistake?
Exploding like a dolphin from the water's top, Beaver performs a deft Matrix slo-mo bitch-slap with his waffled paddle tail, stunning Mule. Beaver swims below to castrate Mule, but OH NO!! Beaver forgets that Mule's manhood is useless!! With another brutal thrust, Mule catapults Beaver onto the grassy shore.
Beaver slowly rises, spits blood from his swollen and broken jaw, and laughs:
"Look behind you, you nutless son of a bitch"
Beaver's dam breaks right on schedule...
to be continued...
Typhoid
03-12-2009, 05:22 PM
Hands down the beaver.
Beaver's are way way faster, more resourceful, and have giant teeth.
Dylflon
03-12-2009, 07:05 PM
This is epic.
The official animal of Canada (Beaver) vs. official animal of the USA (mule).
KillerGremlin
03-12-2009, 07:38 PM
No contest.
Have you ever seen the size of a mule's dick? Go to a zoo some time and wait around for an hour or two.
lol. reminds me last time I was at the zoo I saw a rhino's 3-foot erection. good times.
Also, I'm gonna go with the beaver here...beavers rock.
BreakABone
03-12-2009, 07:47 PM
This is epic.
The official animal of Canada (Beaver) vs. official animal of the USA (mule).
Wait, I get the Beaver, but how is the Mule American?
And if that's the case... Mule!
Combine 017
03-12-2009, 08:00 PM
Im going to be honest. I only chose beaver because it said TF2 in it.
Fox 6
03-12-2009, 08:00 PM
Democratic symbol is a mule.
So barack is riding a mule!
Teuthida
03-12-2009, 08:32 PM
Mule headcount in 2003
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/af/2003mule.PNG/800px-2003mule.PNG
And even though the beaver is NY's state animal, I know it would still lose out to a mule in a fight. Think logically people.
GameMaster
03-12-2009, 08:37 PM
This is epic.
The official animal of Canada (Beaver) vs. official animal of the USA (mule).
Bald eagle = U.S. Official Animal
You tiny dancer, you.
The Germanator
03-12-2009, 08:42 PM
Democratic symbol is a mule.
So barack is riding a mule!
Nah, that's a Donkey...A Mule is if a donkey and a horse mate.
Teuthida
03-12-2009, 08:42 PM
Isn't the moose Canada's animal?
http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd130/Dr_Soupie/toypedia095.jpg
Although to be fair he comes packaged with a beaver with a gun. And yes I own them.
Fox 6
03-12-2009, 08:53 PM
Nah, that's a Donkey...A Mule is if a donkey and a horse mate.
Close enough
I can't wrap my mind around the results here.. what the hell.
The beaver has a HUGE tail behind him in which the mule can step on. Once he's got his hoof on it, he can't do anything but gnaw on the leg that's holding him. That's prime time for a mule headbutt. That would win the match right there.
I can see how all these strategies would work, but the Mule is bred to be really strong. It's like the cockroach of the equestrian world. It would probably take a beating and tire the poor little beaver out.
Angrist
03-13-2009, 04:57 AM
I like mules better, being half horse and all.
Typhoid
03-13-2009, 10:36 AM
Hey Mule, what are you? A horse or a donkey?
Jesus, make up your friggin' mind you wannabe.
ZebraRampage
03-13-2009, 10:57 AM
The Beaver would take out the mule.
Beavers create so much damage when they build their dams. Eventually the area that the Mule is in will flood, and it will be too deep for it, so it will drown.
Acebot44
03-13-2009, 11:01 AM
Click on the image for hours of hilarity...
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xPRJcY91HB4/SUf0Ezl2VcI/AAAAAAAAAEE/wYlIZVifx6I/s400/American_Beaver.jpg (http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/)
"I can tell you have some kind of grand scheme up your sleeve, Beaver, or you would if you were wearing a shirt (if you put on a goddamn shirt, I'm going to fucking go apeshit on you). I haven't figured out what it is you're planning yet, but beavers don't just go around tapping their fingers together like an evil genius for no reason. Look, I know you are jealous that we make way better dams than you guys, but that's no reason to plot for our complete and total annihilation. I'm not quite sure yet how to react, but I've got my eye on you, Beaver...
Also, your tail is showing."
Typhoid
03-13-2009, 11:01 AM
The Beaver would take out the mule.
Beavers create so much damage when they build their dams. Eventually the area that the Mule is in will flood, and it will be too deep for it, so it will drown.
Yeah, a Mule would just kick one beaver and kill that one.
But one Beaver can ruin the habitat of an entire colony of Mules.
Take that, mule!
Fox 6
03-13-2009, 12:48 PM
Beavers would bite through the mules legs.
Totally not the question to ask in a forum overrun with canadians
Professor S
03-13-2009, 02:35 PM
Totally not the question to ask in a forum overrun with canadians
Perhaps, but the inevitable clash of Beaver vs. Moose could be interesting...
Teuthida
03-13-2009, 02:40 PM
Although it depends on the individual animal, a Pakistani army mule can "carry up to 172 kg and walk 26 km without resting."
Mules are generally less tolerant towards dogs than horses are. They are also capable of striking out with any of their hooves in any direction, even sideways if needed.
Game over. That beaver is dust.
Fox 6
03-13-2009, 03:45 PM
Game over. That beaver is dust.
the only thing those quotes prove are the state of the Pakistani military and that Mules are assholes.
vBulletin® v3.6.4, Copyright ©2000-2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.