Let's talk about girls!

[Angrist]

So once every few years I start about my relational life.

So (this is how it always starts) there's this girl. I've liked her for 6 months now (known her for 2 years). She's a strong, beautiful, independent and social woman of 22. Because I didn't want to rush anything, contact between us was minimal. I saw her maybe once a month.
But then we both went on a weekend's holiday with 11 others. I went in with little expectations, I was very relaxed. It was awesome. We really talked a lot. Walked side by side on the beach, chatting about our exes for 20 minutes. When we got interupted, I didn't try to start the conversation again. But she always came back to me with a "So you were saying?" She laughed at my silly jokes. We talked about her work, about my study, etc. We did the dishes together.

Anyway, the weekend was over and we kept some contact. I was the first to send a text message, she was the first to mail. In the mail I asked if she wanted to preach together sometime (we're Jehovah's Witnesses as most of you know). The next day we had made an appointed for 2 days later (pretty fast).
That was also great. A perfect continuation of the weekend. We had a lot of fun together and also did some serious stuff. After a while she asked me where I saw myself in 10 years. Was she checking me out?

At the end of the day we said goodbye. We would see eachother in 2 weeks. After that we text messaged for a day or 2, then I didn't hear from her. I was the last to message and e-mail her.

And all this time I'm not really sure if she likes me back. I'm so incredibly afraid that she just likes me as a friend (or religious brother). I talked to a friend about it and he's certain she likes me. The signs are there. I thought it was really special, but maybe she has this much fun with everybody.

So I googled and found this list of points how to know if a girl likes you: http://www.ehow.com/how_2048930_know-girl-likes-you.html

I think I score on all 7 points... so that's reassuring.

I will see her in 2 days, on a congress that lasts for 3 days. After that, we're both invited to a bbq. She might give me a lift, don't know yet. I'm just going to be myself, have fun and maybe I'll get the chance to ask her out for something.

Your thoughts?
Your girls/loves? :)

[Vampyr]

Hmmm. It seems like the solution here is to ask her to go somewhere with you not related to your religious activities, and where other people you know aren't going to be around.

If she still has just as much fun with you doing something not related to what you guys usually do, and she still acts the same way, I'd say it's a pretty safe bet she likes you. ^_^

There's always the chance she really likes you, and doesn't really realize it herself yet. In that case, still do what I said, but try to play a little harder to get by getting her to chase you a little, could make her realize that she likes you.

And I have a girlfriend, as most of you know (she even posted a couple of times), and she's just awesome. :D Very much like me in terms of tastes and beliefs (except for music, we like pretty different kinds of music in most cases).

We live together and do geeky things like play video games all the time.

We recently got a Kitten to, which you guys have saw. I have some new pictures I've taken that I need to upload, she's grown a lot. She's still a gamer though, she likes to sit in my lap and watch me play TF2 before she falls asleep.

EDIT: Something else interesting, last night my girlfriend was playing with the StumbleUpon plugin, and she stumbled upon....GameTavern! I was actually the person who added it to the stumble upon database, so that's pretty random and awesome.

[Dylflon]

I'm leaving on a two week road trip with my girlfriend on Friday. That should be groovy. We're getting close to the 3 year mark.

[Vampyr]

I'm leaving on a two week road trip with my girlfriend on Friday. That should be groovy. We're getting close to the 3 year mark.

Always going to be a little bit ahead of me. >:|

I forgot to mention, my girlfriend and I are going on a short vacation this weekend, to Biltmore Estate.

[Dylflon]

Always going to be a little bit ahead of me. >:|

I forgot to mention, my girlfriend and I are going on a short vacation this weekend, to Biltmore Estate.

You should go on a vacation to Oregon instead and we could hang out.

Also: come to Canada, jerk-bag.

[jeepnut]

http://www.forumspile.com/Thread-Offtopic-Derailed.jpg

[BreakABone]

You should go on a vacation to Oregon instead and we could hang out.

Also: come to Canada, jerk-bag.

I'm beginning to wonder about this Canadian group.
Always trying to get people to visit.
I wonder if they got older members to visit and that's why we haven't seen them around lately. :ohreilly:

[Angrist]

Hmmm. It seems like the solution here is to ask her to go somewhere with you not related to your religious activities, and where other people you know aren't going to be around. I was thinking about the zoo that's 20 minutes away from both of us. But I'll have to find a relaxed way of asking her... it's something that takes up a whole day.

She's not really a movies-girl, else I would have asked her to see Wall-E. Hm maybe that's still an option. Nah, too much too fast, too cliché.

That one day we preached together, we were together alone, for 4 hours. But you make a good point, it was something we do all the time. She works together with lots of nice guys.

I'll keep you updated on what happens next weekend!

[Swan]

I have been screwed over by women quite a bit.



But I am young so I screw them right back.


I love being young and full of spunk

[The Germanator]

I have been screwed over by women quite a bit.



But I am young so I screw them right back.


I love being young and full of spunk

Too many innuendos here to even talk about...

I just got out of a 2.5 years relationship with a girl. It was the best and most fulfilling of my young life, but she had some personal issues a few months ago and decided she couldn't handle being together anymore. I was on tour at the time so there wasn't much to be done about it. Anyway, being single is okay, and I've just kind of focused on myself and getting in shape for my current life is a bachelor. I think I'm the kind of guy who would rather be in a committed relationship, but I'm not really in the mood for the next couple of years unless the right gal comes along

[Dylflon]

I have been screwed over by women quite a bit.



But I am young so I screw them right back.


I love being young and full of spunk


Er, actually the problem is that the "women" you screw are too young.

[DeathsHand]

I don't believe meaningful relationships exist at this age and I don't touch people.
Thems my talk about women...

[Swan]

Er, actually the problem is that the "women" you screw are too young.

They are still legal

[Dylflon]

It's not a problem of legality but more an issue of maturity on the part of the girls. Most girls who are still in high school are most certainly not mature.

[Swan]

It's not a problem of legality but more an issue of maturity on the part of the girls. Most girls who are still in high school are most certainly not mature.

True true. Hence the intended innuendo

[Angrist]

Yeah I saw her today. Just 2 short chats, nothing special. I hope to get some more contact in the next days. Can't really say any more, except that she was shining like a star.

[KillerGremlin]

Yeah I saw her today. Just 2 short chats, nothing special. I hope to get some more contact in the next days. Can't really say any more, except that she was shining like a star.

Did you get a funny feeling in your pantaloons?

[Angrist]

My feelings for her are 95% between my ears and not in my pants. :D

Shortly talked to her. She was chatting with a guy who she knew she wouldn't see for a long while, so I got little attention (which I understood). But when he was away for 1 minute I made her laugh out loud (I got a oh-you!!-slap :p) and I talked with her friend. She text-messaged me later and we'll probably see eachother a lot more tomorrow.

The way I see it: she's hard to get, but it will get easier further along. In contrast to girls who are easy to get, but cause trouble later on.

[Seth]

There's this girl I like. She's got a boyfriend. The circumstances of our first meeting were so unreal, I think we kind of have to be together someday. but fuck being a sideline guy so I'm trying to get her outta my head.
And yeah, I'm 22. Had a really fucked up girl for a while and I'm not really recovered from it. I'm probably way to cynical about women but I understand their game..a little. I was going to move to vancouver just to be closer to her but now that my buddy's backed out of the move I think VanIsland and surfing is my lot now instead of being teased and headfucked by a girl who I'm way to infatuated with. I want to tell you guys the story but maybe some other time.

[KillerGremlin]

There's this girl I like. She's got a boyfriend. The circumstances of our first meeting were so unreal, I think we kind of have to be together someday. but fuck being a sideline guy so I'm trying to get her outta my head.
And yeah, I'm 22. Had a really fucked up girl for a while and I'm not really recovered from it. I'm probably way to cynical about women but I understand their game..a little. I was going to move to vancouver just to be closer to her but now that my buddy's backed out of the move I think VanIsland and surfing is my lot now instead of being teased and headfucked by a girl who I'm way to infatuated with. I want to tell you guys the story but maybe some other time.

What....you can't do that. If you bring up a story you have to tell it, it's the rules.

[BreakABone]

What....you can't do that. If you bring up a story you have to tell it, it's the rules.

Especially when we have a sex therapist (or soon to be) on hand. :p

And I personally am always looking for new ways to screw with people's mind.

[Angrist]

So yesterday was great, but I still have this bad taste in my mouth. Again the feeling that she likes me a lot as a friend.

We had a barbecue with 6 others. If there were any 2 people who had the most contact, it was her and me. Talked and laughed a lot. I think everybody understood that I like her.

Her ex was there. He's a nice guy and they're getting along just fine. I think he realized I'm crazy about her. I wonder if that will spread out, and what that will do to her.

Grr, the easy thing to do would be just asking her directly. What's the deal, where am I?

[Jonbo298]

You probably enjoy what it is now and don't want to possibly ruin it if you ask and get shot down. That's my guess. Getting shot down can lead you to think you'll lose what you have now. I think I repeated myself in a different sense.

Though..in a somewhat similar sense, I had a strange dream last night that I can't get into alot of detail just because I'm still dumbfounded if it means something bound to occur soon from the female side of things. But it involved me, at something like a store or whatever, and some woman talking about me (but in a good way). I think I have an idea why that dream has occurred for the first time in god knows how long, but I don't want to get too explainy just because its a personal thing in explaining it fully.

[Angrist]

I talked with a friend about it. I came to the conclusion that I need to act fast. This is driving me crazy, she's all I can think about. She's on my mind every minute.

The plan is I e-mail her about some stuff. She mails back, hopefully in a nice way. I mail back and ask her if she wants to preach together with me again. If she says yes and we meet, I'm going to make it a nice day and somewhere past the middle I'll steer the conversation towards her and guys. And then I'll say that I'd like to know her better. That should be clear enough and I'll know what to expect.

How's that for a plan?

[DeathsHand]

I think if you throw in enough "gee whiz"'es and "golly"'s it'd sound like a plan straight out of a 50s sitcom.

[KillerGremlin]

Angrist, do you want my opinion?
It sounds like you are looking for love, or some sort of perfect relationship. But, love isn't a game of chess. Love is a game of baseball...you won't know you've found love and then BAM! The pitcher throws a 99 mile per hour fast ball and it hits you in your fucking head and you'll be on the ground dazed and confused, and then you will know that you are in love.

My point is, the more you sit here and analyze the situation, the more you fabricate hypothetical scenarios in your mind where she either secretly is madly in love with you, or she has no interest in you at all. Likely, it is somewhere in the middle. So, instead of playing chess, play ball. Ask her on a straight up dinner date. Forget preaching...dinner > preaching, at least as far as date material goes.

By the way, here are some signs she likes you. Rather than focusing on signs you manifest in your mind, see if you can find some of these.
-Is she touchy-feely with you? Does she touch your arm a lot or touch your shoulder?
-Do you make on-and-off eye contact? Do you catch her constantly looking at you?
-Does she mimic you....when you do something does she do the same thing?
-Does she laugh at the stupid and horribly lame things you say...say something that's not funny, and see if she laughs.

Those are all pretty decent sub conscience indicators that she is attracted to you. Surprise surprise, regardless of what moral/religious platform you stand on, people still exert sub conscience signs of attraction.

So, your next post to this thread better be, "yes I asked her to dinner" or "yes she does touch my shoulder a lot."

[Angrist]

She touches my arm a lot and laughs at my sometimes bad jokes. :p The eye-contact is great.

Yeah good point. Thanks for the advice about playing ball. :D Maybe I better ask her to do something fun. But I'd rather ask it in person and not over the mail. And I don't see her often enough for that. Maybe I should call her and then ask.

(darn, your post made me feel pretty stupid... but I needed that, thanks!)

[Zen]

I only now stumbled into this topic and read all of it, and I would have to pretty much agree with everything KG said here, apparently you do as well, which is good.

You just need to man up and act on things, lets say she is interested, you not acting out could DEFINITELY let that interest fade away.

And yes, actually going out somewhere out of your normal life cycle would be the best option, make it a date, make it official.

[Angrist]

Going to call her tomorrow morning (it's 00:00AM now) and ask her if she wants to do something fun.

[magus113]

Hope that all works out well for you, Grist. I get that friend stuff a lot, so maybe you'll find your way out of it.

[Angrist]

Ok so I called, had a small chat and then asked her if she wanted to do something fun.

-... (silence) ... depends on what it is
oh I don't know...
- well, come up with something!
hm maybe a restaurant or something like that
- ah ok. Hm you surprise me a bit, I'll have to think about it
yeah sure! let me hear when you know!
- I will!
Bye etc.

[BreakABone]

Word to the wise.
Next time you ask someone if they want to do something fun.
You should have that something fun picked out in advance.

[Vampyr]

Word to the wise.
Next time you ask someone if they want to do something fun.
You should have that something fun picked out in advance.

Unless you're willing to default to "sexy time".

[BreakABone]

Unless you're willing to default to "sexy time".

I'm flattered Vamp, but this.. is akward...

So let's pretend it never happened. :p

[Jonbo298]

Unless you're willing to default to "sexy time".

That probably went through her head wondering WTF he meant when the silence hit :lolz:

[Angrist]

Hehe possible. :D

Haven't heard of her yet. I'm starting to fear for an e-mail. Well, that doesn't have to be bad. We'll see. I'm not as scared as before I asked.

[magus113]

It usually takes the first step to let all the weight off. Let's hope for the best.

[Angrist]

Ok, latest update: she sent me a text-message to tell me she'll call me tomorrow (she's too tired atm). Sleep tight! etc.

[KillerGremlin]

Ok, latest update: she sent me a text-message to tell me she'll call me tomorrow (she's too tired atm). Sleep tight! etc.

So, your game plan is to figure out a kick ass restaurant to take her out to, and when you talk to her on the phone tomorrow ask her out to it. And, you need to clarify that this is a date. Clarify that YOU are taking her out.

Also...you don't want to go out with a loaded gun...have you seen There's Something About Mary...? ;)

[Angrist]

Ah good point, picking a restaurant. There's a good Greek one here in my town. There's also a good pizzeria, but a friend said that's not romantic enough (I don't see why, I've been there and it's pretty nice).

But I don't really want to let her come to my town. That way she'll probably also want to pick me up with her car. I feel like it hurts me in my independence and manly behavior.

There are some restaurants in a town between hers and mine, but I don't know the good ones. But I could ask a friend who lives there.
I could also go for one where she lives... but the closer we get to her, the bigger the chance she's already been there.

And no, driving over to her to pick her up with my car isn't an option. No license, no car. :D

[Angrist]

Ok, she called me back. Had a small chat and then she said she had been thinking. She thinks it's better to do something with a group, so we don't get too high expectations. And she doesn't really know me that well yet.
So no date. Yet. But we'll see eachother again. :)

I wonder how I should understand that.

[Angrist]

Some final comments before we let this thread die a pieceful death?

I thought about it. First of all, she had to think about it. At least half a day. So there was something to think about.
Secondly, if I really didn't have a chance, she would have said it otherwise, right? ("I'm not ready for a relationship... Really, it's not you, it's me! Blabla.")
Thirdly, it was a very relaxed phone call. I stayed cool and I agreed with her. I mean, within our religion it's really a sensible decision.

[KillerGremlin]

I mean, within our religion it's really a sensible decision.

plz explain

[Angrist]

We see relationships as something for the long-term. We also believe the promise of the bible that we can receive eternal life on earth. So we're not really in a hurry. And of course we don't have sex before marriage.

Also we're encouraged to get to know how we are in groups. You usually act differently when you're together alone with somebody.
And like she said, this way we (and others?) won't have too high expectations from this.

I received a nice e-mail back tonight. She told me about her day etc. Was a happy mail.

[magus113]

The negative side of me feels kind of mixed about how it's going, but I don't listen to it.

You're right on those points that you mentioned earlier. Things could essentially go somewhere when you have this group thing, but you also have to remember that you can't bring yourself towards her when you're with the group. Give her space, and take the time to meet new people, etc.

[Vampyr]

We also believe the promise of the bible that we can receive eternal life on earth.

That sounds much more awesome than the "Heaven in the sky" theory. :)

I also like the Mormon theory that you get your own planet.

[Dylflon]

If it wasn't a jehova's witness thing, I'd say you got shot down, but I don't know how the whole j-dub thing works so maybe you're still in the clear?

[Bond]

I think she's too nice to tell you she doesn't want to ever date you. I've seen this scenario before.

[Yoda9864]

I think she's too nice to tell you she doesn't want to ever date you. I've seen this scenario before.
So pessimistic!


...but it's probably true. :/

[Angrist]

We'll see. Most people I spoke irl have a positive feeling. Even 1 friend who isn't a Jehovah's Witness.

The way I see it: I don't think she ever let a man get close in the last years. She didn't notice that I liked her, she had to think about it. She isn't suddenly totally in love with me. But since we had such nice times, she's giving me a chance. That's what it is, a chance, so she didn't want to date right away, afraid that things might go too fast.

At least she now knows I like her. We'll keep contact, we'll see eachother again. Things could essentially go somewhere when you have this group thing, but you also have to remember that you can't bring yourself towards her when you're with the group. Give her space, and take the time to meet new people, etc.Yeah, I realize that. I won't be all over her. Thanks.

Edit: I thought about asking her in an e-mail: Hey, just wondering, is this a nice way of saying "Sorry, but no chance", or did you mean what you said?
But I don't like putting it out there in the open. I just want to see her again and I'll be able to tell by her eyes.

[KillerGremlin]

Edit: I thought about asking her in an e-mail: Hey, just wondering, is this a nice way of saying "Sorry, but no chance", or did you mean what you said?
But I don't like putting it out there in the open. I just want to see her again and I'll be able to tell by her eyes.

Don't send the email, it would be a little to e-creepy.

I'm with Dylflon...I'd say she sounds more interested in being friends than a relationship, but I dunno how this whole religion thing comes into play.

You need to continue with the drama, this is like GT Reality TV, it's good stuff.

[Angrist]

Haha, I think I'm pissing off most people here with my whiny posts. :D But I'll keep you updated.

I went for a cycle this evening and I thought about it. I really just don't know. I think she would be nice/sensible enough to tell me when I didn't have a chance. Then again, I was wondering what I would say if a girl would have asked me out... I'd probably give her a chance.

You have to remember here that we had a lot of fun together. She touched me, laughed at my jokes, had a lot of eye contact... talked about many things. If I were her, I'd give me a fair chance.

Now I just have to wait for an opportunity to see her again. :)

[Bond]

You're over analyzing, which will be your downfall. Go big or go home. Make your own luck.

[Angrist]

What do you mean with that?

[Swan]

Haha, I think I'm pissing off most people here with my whiny posts. :D But I'll keep you updated.

I went for a cycle this evening and I thought about it. I really just don't know. I think she would be nice/sensible enough to tell me when I didn't have a chance. Then again, I was wondering what I would say if a girl would have asked me out... I'd probably give her a chance.

You have to remember here that we had a lot of fun together. She touched me, laughed at my jokes, had a lot of eye contact... talked about many things. If I were her, I'd give me a fair chance.

Now I just have to wait for an opportunity to see her again. :)

Sounds hot

[DeathsHand]

What do you mean with that?

He means that, here in America, we just whip it out and wait for someone to pounce.

[Swan]

He means that, here in America, we just whip it out and wait for someone to pounce.

Which can be surprisingly fast in some places

[Bond]

That's not exactly what I meant. I simply mean that over anaylzing this kind of situation is going to get you no where fast. You have two options: do something or do nothing at all. Stop talking about it to other people and yourself. Be a man and talk to her.

[Angrist]

I sometimes feel like the girl in this clip:

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Luckily I don't ever show how big my heart is.

Bond, I'd talk to her if I could meet her in a pub or something. But right now there's just no spontaneous way of meeting her yet. And I don't want to scare her, especially after her reaction.

[Dyne]

That's not exactly what I meant. I simply mean that over anaylzing this kind of situation is going to get you no where fast. You have two options: do something or do nothing at all. Stop talking about it to other people and yourself. Be a man and talk to her.

I've avoided this thread thusfar but Bond's almost got it.

Stop looking for a relationship and just start looking for a friend. If it doesn't work out, who cares. Don't ever lay your heart on the line like you're planning to do because you'll never win. Women will immediately lose their attraction to you if you act like that. Just hang out with her more and more - eventually she'll get the message that you like her. Everybody who's ever said "be yourself" has got it exactly right. Be yourself. Don't be a guy who's looking for a relationship. You wouldn't act that way with your best friend, would you? That would just be weird, right? Exactly.

Be yourself. Man up. Start talking to her like the friend she IS and not a potential soul mate.

[KillerGremlin]

You should try to get her alone on a dinner date or a movie or something and just go in for a kiss...otherwise, you risk being in the friend position forever. I'm not sure if you have made it clear to her that you are interested in her more than as just a friend. Some women are stupid, some women choice to ignore the "obvious" signs, so it is your job to take a firm stand and do something dramatic.

Otherwise, I kind of have to agree with Bond and Dyne here.

[Angrist]

I'm sure I'll be fine. As I said, I was going to put this thread to rest. But somebody asked, so I did another analysis. ;)

Thanks for all the advice and I'll update when there's news in the following weeks.

[Typhoid]

That "friends for life" thing is total bullshit, to let you all know.
When a girl says "I like you, but we're too good of friends now to ruin that" is a blanket fallback of "I don't like you". They're your friend, so they don't want to hurt you - obviously.

Timing, realistically - means nothing. Especially of a kiss with a girl friend. If there's attraction, timing is null and void. If there's no attraction, you'll get the "we're too good of friends" speech.



I agree with the whole "Dont try for a girlfriend" thing. Don't. Pointless. Try for a friend. If it turns to something more, awesome. If not - then at least you have a friend.

[Bube]

There comes a time in your life when for some reason, you don't want to look for friends, but a relationship. These are desperate times. And you need a relationship in these times, making it even more desperate.

[GameMaster]

Make your own luck.

Is this the part where we send Angrist a double-sided 'head' coin?

Or should we wait for half his face to be severely burned in a terrible accident?

[KillerGremlin]

That "friends for life" thing is total bullshit, to let you all know.
When a girl says "I like you, but we're too good of friends now to ruin that" is a blanket fallback of "I don't like you". They're your friend, so they don't want to hurt you - obviously.

Timing, realistically - means nothing. Especially of a kiss with a girl friend. If there's attraction, timing is null and void. If there's no attraction, you'll get the "we're too good of friends" speech.



I agree with the whole "Dont try for a girlfriend" thing. Don't. Pointless. Try for a friend. If it turns to something more, awesome. If not - then at least you have a friend.

Should we analyze the social aspects of guys having female friends?
It would make for entertaining discussion.

[Angrist]

I'll update when there's news in the following weeks.That's the problem. There hasn't been any news. :D

Hm, not really true. We ended up mailing (joking really) about kids, and she didn't reply for weeks. So I figured I had scared her, which is probably partly true.
So after a few weeks I asked her for something fun again (this time with others, as she had suggested), but she couldn't come. She mailed me back, said that she didn't really see us happening by the way.

I said that's ok, I wouldn't have too high expectations and we would see what happened.


Now it's almost 2 months since I've seen her, and I've "lost that lovin' feelin'." I still like her a lot, but I see things in perspective now. Maybe we're not a good match. I'll just see if the feeling returns when we hang out again.

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[Angrist]

So I hadn't heard of her in weeks and I decided not to contact her.

Then 2 days ago I got a mail from her. That she wants to see me on monday. :)

(But yeah, it had the disclaimer that I shouldn't suddenly expect much, which I wouldn't have had anyway.)

Ignoring women is the best tactic. :D

[Dylflon]

This is the most depressing thread.

[Bube]

I could probably liven things up a bit. But I prefer not to :p

[Swan]

Just remember when she says no she really means yes

[Seth]

Angrist, you're a JW. Goodluck finding a girl(who isn't a cult member)....but like Typhoid said, think platonic friendship...but invest your interests in positive self development before chasing tail, cuz it'll all crash down around you if you don't have your shit together first. Sorry for the harsh advice but i'm just trying to toughlove you a bit. I know you're a nice guy who doesn't want to take advantage of women...that's why it's important to not let infatuation with a beutiful girl mess up your head. You're young, keep yourself free.

[Angrist]

Thanks. But really, it's not as bad as you guys think.

Ok, I got off to a pretty bad start, falling terribly in love with this girl who didn't really notice me. And thinking too much.

But in the last weeks I kind of forgot about her. I saw her yesterday for a few hours and I was pretty relaxed. I didn't try to grab her attention all the time, it might even have been the opposite, ignoring her a bit more than I'd normally do.
I'll see her tomorrow again. Preaching together, because she asked me to. I'll see how it goes. Again, I'm not expecting much. I'll leave it up to her!


Darn it, I hate how pathetic I sound.

[Combine 017]

Then stop making sounds and start making noise.

[Angrist]

I suddenly remembered this thread. :D

6 weeks ago I knew I was going to meet her. We were both going to do some volunteer cleaning in one of our bigger meeting halls. I hadn't seen her in a while so I was wondering if we'd chat a bit.

I barely spoke her that day. Saw her a few times. At the end of the day I made some innocent joke and she reacted very mean to that. For the first time in 3/4 year, I didn't like her. I suddenly couldn't even remember why I had liked her in the first place.

Haven't seen her since. I guess I kind of like her again, but you might know the feeling... You just let somebody go.

Oh and this summer she's going to Brazil for 5 months.

[Dylflon]

Does anyone have a budding romance story with potential and without chaperones?

[KillerGremlin]

Does anyone have a budding romance story with potential and without chaperones?

That's a good question...and yes people here do. I know for a fact.
You should make a thread, and if you don't within the next 48-72 hours I may steal your idea.

[Bond]

I have a budding romance story every Friday night.

[BreakABone]

I have a budding romance story every Friday night.

Maybe, my mind really is corrupted but there is no way this reads as clean in my head.

[Szymon]

Okay sure.

A friend from work convinced me to take some ball room dance classes with her at her university. It was a fun, we danced, the instructor told me I was doing good, and I met a pretty girl. She was quiet and shy and we danced a couple of times but never really talked. At the end of the last class I was nervously going to ask her for a phone number or anyway at all to contact her after the classes (based on the way she smiled and blushed when we danced, I got the feeling she may have been into me as well) but as I approached her to ask her this, I overheard her speaking to the instructor about doing another class just for her floor.

So after their conversation is over I speak up and jokingly propose that she contact me if she needed more guys to even out the class as there are usually fewer guys than girls. She agrees emphatically and we work out that facebook would be the easiest way to stay in contact. So after a couple of days she did ask me to come out. We had a fun lesson, she was still blushing and shy but I think I heard her growl a bit at her friend who tried to dance with me. Things went pretty well and I told her I would stay in contact.

So eventually I asked her to the movies, after 2 or 3 days. This would be our first time not around a group of friends and I figured we would get to know each other. So we walk around a bit before the movie starts and we're chatting about our lives and hobbies and stuff and I realize that we're not really chatting, I'm doing most of the talking. So I start asking her about herself and she doesn't really have much to say. I figured she was just a little shy or nervous but it continued that way after the movies too. I did find out that she's an English major and that she hates computers (which practically broke my heart, as I am a computer technician and systems administrator and I love computers.)

I told myself I would give her another shot, maybe she's really truly shy, and needs more time to relax around me. I sent her some messages via facebook, which she rarely checks due to her hatred of computers. This was early December, and she said she was really busy until January so I took it as a sign that she probably lost interest in me. I told her that I would probably see her when dance classes started again in January but they've been cancelled by the instructor.

I haven't really contacted her since.

Sooo what is the point of all this? The point is that I need to know what to do. Should I leave her a message or call her or is she a lost cause?

[Szymon]

So literally 2 minutes after I post this, she contacts me on facebook and wants to know how I am doing. Shazam!

[KillerGremlin]

Someone make a new thread!

Bond is a playa and Szymon might have a new place to park his penis...I mean prius.

Seriously.

[Combine 017]

One of my sisters friends is really in to me and wants to sex it up, but im pretty sure she wants a relationship that I dont really want.

And thats my budding romance story.

[Fox 6]

Not to mention shes like 16 and emo to the max, and has some other bad habits......

[Combine 017]

Yeah that to.

[KillerGremlin]

tell us more....
emo...16...bad habits?

[Fox 6]

Firecrotch

[KillerGremlin]

Firecrotch

what's wrong with that?
redheads are freaky

[Fox 6]

Did I say anything was wrong? just dishing out the info.

piercing in her lip x 2

[KillerGremlin]

Did I say anything was wrong? just dishing out the info.

piercing in her lip x 2

hmmm...well you made it seem like it was a bad thing :p
there must be some defining characteristic that is offputting besides the hair and piercings

[Fox 6]

hmmm...well you made it seem like it was a bad thing :p
there must be some defining characteristic that is offputting besides the hair and piercings

Fucking weirdo

[KillerGremlin]

Fucking weirdo

haha duh. i thrive on weird. and derailing angrist's thread.

But I'm no weirder than you firecrotch hating canadians.

(and i'm dating a redhead so i'd know)

[Swan]

Red heads are bloody hot.

And she's not that red headed.

[Fox 6]

haha duh. i thrive on weird. and derailing angrist's thread.

But I'm no weirder than you firecrotch hating canadians.

(and i'm dating a redhead so i'd know)

Not you, her.


And shes not that red headed, despite having red hair.....?

[KillerGremlin]

Not you, her.


And shes not that red headed, despite having red hair.....?

Oh, bummer....oh well.

redheads ftw!
http://celebrity-pics.movieeye.com/celebrity_pictures/Alyson_Hannigan_200512.jpg

http://keithwrites.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/lindsay-lohan-1920x1200-22254.jpg

[BreakABone]

I was informed bright and early this morning that Adam may have a story to add. :P

[KillerGremlin]

I was informed bright and early this morning that Adam may have a story to add. :P

Is it about how you suck at life?

[Swan]

Is it about how you suck at life?

More or less

[Combine 017]

So it turns out she didnt want to get into a relationship, she just wanted to have sex.

So I nailed her.

And Earl sucks at life.

[BreakABone]

For once, I am the victim in all of this.

*Evil stare at Swan*

[ZebraRampage]

I have a story for you guys, and it's the reason I haven't been here all this time!

Okay, so I just recently broke up with my girlfriend that I was with since October of 2006. I've had problems with her for a long time..and it was getting really out of hand. I don't really feel like typing all of the details, but I'll guide you all to the reasons as to why I haven't been here for a year and a half.

So basically, at the start of the relationship, Sarah (my most recent ex) and I would talk a lot, and it so happened that when I talked about my past I talked about my previous ex-girlfriend to her a lot. I would complain about a lot of things that I went through in that relationship to Sarah, and over time she got sick of hearing it all.

So after about five months, she decided she wanted me to stop talking about her, and also decided that she never wanted to hear anybody talk about her. This was in March of 2007. When summer came along, she was so bothered by everything that I said about my ex that she wanted the whole damn story so she could be clear about it all. But by this point I didn't want to mention any more details about my ex, so I started lying about things to just get the whole thing over with, and I also lied because there are just some things better left unsaid.

She of course found out I was lying, and managed to get the truth out about everything, so that really ruined our trust. At this point, she wanted me to get rid of any possession I had from the time period that I was with my ex. That meant everything too. She even found out that I wrote things about my ex girlfriend in Gametavern, and you can ask bond about how I had to ask him to delete those posts, since they were too old for me to access. And that's why she didn't want me coming back here.

So basically, it was a relationship based on no trust after that, and here I am, and that's why I haven't been here.

[GameMaster]

That's quite a story. Sounds like she was pretty insecure. I mean, to forbid from you visiting an online video game forum, that's just crazy.

And you better never leave us for a girl again :p

And someone please resize that damn picture. I had to scroll side to side to read his story.

[Bond]

She even found out that I wrote things about my ex girlfriend in Gametavern, and you can ask bond about how I had to ask him to delete those posts, since they were too old for me to access. And that's why she didn't want me coming back here.

I had no idea that's why you wanted me to delete the posts! I delete anything no questions asked.

That's a pretty crazy story, though. Definitely doesn't sound healthy, and it's good that you are past it!

[The Germanator]

Interesting story, Zebra. I oddly had something relatively similar happen to me with my ex, though she was jealous of a girl that I was only friends with and never romantically linked with. I once left my Facebook account on and she had seen that I had been messaging the female friend a couple of times...There was really nothing bad in the messages, but she kind of freaked. It certainly wasn't a high point in the relationship.

Anyway, I really wish I had something new to bring to the table, but my love life has been pretty dreadful since my ex and I broke up almost a year ago. I kind of have a thing for an old college flame, but I've seen her a few times and I don't see any interest from her. I really need to move out of my 'rent's house and move to Philly or something so I can actually meet people.

The only true positive that came out of it is that it inspired me to lose weight and I'm now easily in the best shape of my life. So at least theoretically I should look more attractive to the ladies.

[KillerGremlin]

For once, I am the victim in all of this.

*Evil stare at Swan*

How are you the victim?

Anyway, I find that when people get in serious relationships the guy has to limit intimate relationships with other girls a lot of the time. I mean you don't see married guys going off to spend an afternoon with their close female friend very often.

[Jonbo298]

Wow Zebra, helluva story there. Good that it should hopefully stay in the past now.

As for me in relations to this thread, I have nothing. Not that I expect there to be anytime soon....

[KillerGremlin]

Wow Zebra, helluva story there. Good that it should hopefully stay in the past now.

As for me in relations to this thread, I have nothing. Not that I expect there to be anytime soon....

you have that yummy signature ;)

[Jonbo298]

That's a dream never fulfilled :lolz: Meeting her once in person was great even if just a quick autograph.

[BreakABone]

I'm sure KG knows part of this story, but what's everyone's opinion on pursuing females that are within close proximity of you.

Meaning like someone you work with or live in the same building or have like similar majors. Someone you see often enough.

[Bube]

I'm sure KG knows part of this story, but what's everyone's opinion on pursuing females that are within close proximity of you.

Meaning like someone you work with or live in the same building or have like similar majors. Someone you see often enough.
I think it's good that you get to know them in their everyday life. And just hanging out is sometimes better than going on dates.

When things start getting more serious, it's both good and bad, depending on your definition of relationship. Seeing them all the time should be a good, even great thing. But you should still leave room for them to breathe.

And if things go well, but end not so good, that's really bad. It just hurts too much.

[Angrist]

Could either be really good or really bad. I wouldn't hold back just because she was close... Although I'd probably take it extra slow.

[thatmariolover]

I think that you can't be afraid of a little drama. Maybe it'll blow up in your face, but at least you're doing something. And if something more reasonable comes around in the meanwhile, be man enough to snatch it up and say you're sorry or let it pass.

Then again, who am I to give advice? I have the most masochistic love life of anybody I know.

[Jonbo298]

Know what is such a bitch to deal with and subsequently still trying to get over with, Approach Anxiety. Bane of my existence that has subsequently cascaded problems in the past.

That is all...

[Swan]

Know what is such a bitch to deal with and subsequently still trying to get over with, Approach Anxiety. Bane of my existence that has subsequently cascaded problems in the past.

That is all...

You know what the cure to that is?




Beer

[BreakABone]

You know what the cure to that is?




Beer

Let's just say liquid courage and not discriminate against other liquors. :p

[Jonbo298]

You know what the cure to that is?




Beer

Oh trust me, I'm well aware Beer (actually anything in general that will loosen me up) brings out the "lighter" side of me. Preferably harder liquor's :p and BaB, anything that can be of liquid encourage is great ;) I just know my boundaries and not an alcoholic like I've seen in some already.

[thatmariolover]

I myself have a little approach anxiety, but I've been much better about it lately. I think you have to try to understand the reason you feel anxious and tackle that (which I realize is more easily said than done). For me it was feeling inadequate and not desirable, which in turn makes you less desirable. It's not about false boasting, but it is about confidence.

Look people in the eye. For me this was a huge issue because I thought that with guys I was being agressive and challenging, and for girls I was afraid they'd think I was staring. But it has nothing to do with that. It has to do with knowing your own worth, and being your own man, and looking people in the eye because you are good enough.

Now that I have a level of confidence I'm comfortable with, I have a lot more intimate encounters. Unfortunately I also had a really bad breakup a while back and although I'm over the girl, I'm apparently not really recovered. In almost 5 years I've not met a girl that I wanted to be in a relationship with. Sure, sexual attraction is there. But any time that leads somewhere it's just hollow and meaningless and ultimately leaves me more lonely than if I'd just refrained (which I do most of the time anymore).

A very recent development is my ex calling me up and explaining that she just called off her wedding because she still loves me. Part of what she feels is regret, because she really treated me like shit and she knows it. I got together with her to hear her out and she apologized for a lot of stuff that really hurt and she offered a lot of explanations of things that I hadn't understood. That was a release and I'm sure it was stuff I needed to hear. But eventually the encounter turned sexual, and I regret it deeply. I told her straight up that I didn't want anything from her in the way of a relationship and that I just couldn't offer her anything but friendship. But she persisted and eventually I allowed her to seduce me. It's not like it was really a dramatic or regretable encounter. But it did make me realize that I really don't have those feelings for her anymore. I love her, but not like that.

That's complicated in and of itself because on some level I had hoped that I couldn't find love because I still held some remnant of feelings for her. But being with her made me realize that that isn't the case at all, which in turn makes me feel worse because it means that there's something else wrong with me. I'm trying not to get too bent out of shape about it, and I keep telling myself it will come when it comes. But I've played the single game for a long time, and I'm ready to get back in the game.

[Angrist]

Ok I have a weird story again. :D There are these twins that I met yesterday. They're both cute (although 4 years older than me).
Problem A:
Although I can tell them apart (by looks and somewhat by behavior), I can't remember who of the two I told what. I started talking with one, but then later more with the other. Very confusing.
Problem B:
I liked the first one, who was a bit more chaotic than the other. But at the end of the night the other said something that could be a hint. So... I feel like I got the attention of 2 almost identical girls. How do I react to that? :p

PS: This is the possible hint that the other one gave. Our group of 6 people was cheek-kissing goodbye. After the girl and me did that, she kept standing in front of me for a second and told me (with a serious face): 'I had a great time' (freely translated from Dutch). She didn't tell anyone else that. Possible hint? :angel:

[ZebraRampage]

Ok I have a weird story again. :D There are these twins that I met yesterday. They're both cute (although 4 years older than me).
Problem A:
Although I can tell them apart (by looks and somewhat by behavior), I can't remember who of the two I told what. I started talking with one, but then later more with the other. Very confusing.
Problem B:
I liked the first one, who was a bit more chaotic than the other. But at the end of the night the other said something that could be a hint. So... I feel like I got the attention of 2 almost identical girls. How do I react to that? :p

PS: This is the possible hint that the other one gave. Our group of 6 people was cheek-kissing goodbye. After the girl and me did that, she kept standing in front of me for a second and told me (with a serious face): 'I had a great time' (freely translated from Dutch). She didn't tell anyone else that. Possible hint? :angel:


Well, if you can't remember which one you said certain things to, go for both! I'm sure that's what everyone else is thinking, here. Maybe if you remember something else that you said to the girl that gave you the hint that wasn't anything to do with either of them then you could bring that certain thing again to both of them, and whoever responds to it will be the one that you're looking for. Do you remember what the second girl looked like compared to her twin when she said that she had a great time?

[Angrist]

Yeah, that's not the problem. I can tell them apart and I know which one said that.
It's just annoying that I can't remember which one I told I was engaged once. But I bet that because they're sisters, they'll talk about me anyway.

I guess all I can do is be nice to them both and then see which one likes me better.

[Seth]

Yeah, that's not the problem. I can tell them apart and I know which one said that.
It's just annoying that I can't remember which one I told I was engaged once. But I bet that because they're sisters, they'll talk about me anyway.

I guess all I can do is be nice to them both and then see which one likes me better.


Angrist, I bet when you're trying to be the devil's definition of mean, you're still a fairly nice guy:) Be only half nice okay? Goodluck!!

[Angrist]

Oh don't worry, I'm not that nice. I usually take way too much time to show a girl I like her.
Now I have a new problem. They looked pretty good when I saw them irl, but now that I see the pictures we took... they look scary. :confused:

[jeepnut]

Oh don't worry, I'm not that nice. I usually take way too much time to show a girl I like her.
Now I have a new problem. They looked pretty good when I saw them irl, but now that I see the pictures we took... they look scary. :confused:

Well, now you need to post those pictures so we can judge.

[Angrist]

Hehe, I was afraid you'd say that. ;) But no, I'm not going to do that. Imagine they're good looking 31ers with an unfortunate smile.
The hinting girl concluded a mail to me with "see you soon!" ...

[manasecret]

Beer goggles?

[Typhoid]

You could have definitely been suffering from what is known as "being drunk while judging a girls appearance".

But also, some people just don't photograph well - while looking completely normal otherwise. Could depend on angle, timing, flash, lighting, etc.

[Angrist]

Well, I was on a picture with Marit Larsen once. The guy taking the picture suggested she laid her head on my shoulder and she did. That made me smile so terribly bad that I never show anyone that picture. I'm so ugly on it.
So yeah that's possible.

[Typhoid]

I think the more important thing isn't how they look in pictures, but how you perceive them to look in real life.

Unless, that is - you plan on attempting to date photographs of them. If you're attracted to them when you're in person, what does it matter how they look in pictures.

[The Germanator]

You're situation sounds like a sitcom, Angrist! Twins! Or a Coors Light commercial I guess.

I'd agree with Typhoid though. Hasn't everyone looked horrible in a picture or few? I know I have...

Now I'm going to turn to my own situation...So I met and stayed with this girl in Brooklyn (don't giggle yet, it was a pretty PG situation), and we had a good time hangin' out the next day. It kind of felt like a weird first date. Anyway, obviously the problem is that she lives and works in New York and I don't though she says "you have a place there anytime you want." Delaware isn't worlds away, but it's still not an ideal distance for a new romance. It's kinda lame because she's probably the only gal I've had some interest in for the last couple of years. I guess I need excuses to go up to Brooklyn every once in a while. You wanna hang out, Earl? :)

[ZebraRampage]

You wanna hang out, Earl? :)

Earl even gets attention in the girls thread.

[Typhoid]

I guess I need excuses to go up to Brooklyn every once in a while.

she's probably the only gal I've had some interest in for the last couple of years.


:ohreilly:

[TheGame]

I think the more important thing isn't how they look in pictures, but how you perceive them to look in real life.

Unless, that is - you plan on attempting to date photographs of them. If you're attracted to them when you're in person, what does it matter how they look in pictures.

I definently agree with this. One of the girls I work with is a perfect example of bad in photos but amazing in reality. But I think it's mostly because she has a kinda goofy looking smile and she's always cheesing too hard in pictures... but she's a straight dime. I'll need to find a pic of her lol

[Dylflon]

This thread has gone on for two years and Angrist still hasn't seen any boobies.


Someone show this man some tits!

[Teuthida]

Boobies!

http://users.ecs.soton.ac.uk/km/pics/kirk/boobies.jpg



And a pair of great tits.

http://open.live.bbc.co.uk/dynamic_images/naturelibrary_640_credits/downloads.bbc.co.uk/earth/naturelibrary/assets/t/ti/tit_bird/tit_bird_1.jpg

[Angrist]

Now I'm going to turn to my own situation...So I met and stayed with this girl in Brooklyn (don't giggle yet, it was a pretty PG situation), and we had a good time hangin' out the next day. It kind of felt like a weird first date. Anyway, obviously the problem is that she lives and works in New York and I don't though she says "you have a place there anytime you want." Delaware isn't worlds away, but it's still not an ideal distance for a new romance. It's kinda lame because she's probably the only gal I've had some interest in for the last couple of years. I guess I need excuses to go up to Brooklyn every once in a while. You wanna hang out, Earl? :)
Hm you could definitely meet her again. Distance relationships are hard, but you can always decide what to do later. Maybe you'll discover after 1 more 'date' that she's not worth it. Or maybe it will be the start of something good.

Yeah those twins... We'll see how it goes. I wonder when I'll see her/them again.

[The Germanator]

Hm you could definitely meet her again. Distance relationships are hard, but you can always decide what to do later. Maybe you'll discover after 1 more 'date' that she's not worth it. Or maybe it will be the start of something good.

Yeah those twins... We'll see how it goes. I wonder when I'll see her/them again.

Yeah, I kinda plan to. Another thing is that she's friends with my cousin who she plans on visiting in Delaware sometime soon. Though she also specifically mentioned seeing me during that visit as well. The way my luck goes that will be the same weekend I was planning to go up to Brooklyn. Anyway, yeah, I'm kind of just waiting to see how our next encounter goes and we'll take it from there. I understand that the odds are generally against it making sense.

[Typhoid]

Why not just ask her to hang out?
Is it really so beyond logic to go to the city to just see and hang out with her, without needing another reason to be there?
Am I the only one who doesn't find that weird? :confused:

[Angrist]

Hm well it depends on your personality. I also think it wouldn't be weird, but when I was Germy, I probably would be too afraid to ask it that way. It would be out of character for me.
But that's me always afraid of taking things too fast...

[The Germanator]

Yeah, you're completely right, Typhoid. I generally over think these kind of things, and as Angrist said, it just not necessarily how my brain works with this situation. My brain goes to "oh, she'll be weirded out, we barely know each other", that kind of thing. Again, I admit that it's dumb, but it's hard to rewire the brain to think differently.