BreakABone
04-13-2002, 10:46 PM
Well I got lazy and didn't do a review for chapter 4 of Xanny's fanfic and he has been bugging mer about it ever since he put it up.Now, chapter 5 is also up. So i have to do a review for both and none to happy with it.
Well both chapters are rather lenghty, but it may help that I was in no mood to read either one. The chapters weren't that bad, I mean some parts had my eyes just shutting but it was not as painful as say a surgery.
Chapter 4-
Well it is rather bland in my mind since I read it about a month ago. I do know that I had some bones with the chapter. That Xanny promised would be addressed in later chapters, it was kind of fixed in chapter 5, but chapter 4 saw the death of the King of Hyrule. Well I thought that, that aspect of the chapter was kind of well kind of crappy. The king died and the chapter made it seem like a secondary thing. It's hardly ever mentioned in that chapter.
I mean the man ruled the kingdom so I expected it to be a big event. I mean it should be the talk of the kingdom. It is overshadowed by Zelda becoming Queen and well the arrival of Coris. Come to think of it. this story has just made me realize something else. Who exactly is the main character of this story. It seems to flop flip between Zelda and Link.
Chap 5-
Well, this is the chapter that freshest in my mind. Not to say much. I got WrestleMania X-Seven on behind me and was reading Bond's preview while also using well AIM.
Anyhow, this chapter somewhat answers my concerns dealing with the death of the King. The ceremony isn't yet but people are there to pay their respects. Some aspects seem to be planted for later use, such as the training session.
The main plot point of this chapter seems to be finding out the deal with Coris. By the end of the chapter, you are able to figure it out but is left with a tad bit more questions. Which is a fine stryle of writing since it makes the reader interested in continue reading.
That's basically it asince I'm lazy, but I would like to point out one thing. Not really dealing with my review, but some of the comments on the forum about your fanfic. The part about the Kokiro people. If you believe that you need to include it for whatever reasons, go ahead and include it. Even, if you are forced to deviate from what is established in the game.
Well both chapters are rather lenghty, but it may help that I was in no mood to read either one. The chapters weren't that bad, I mean some parts had my eyes just shutting but it was not as painful as say a surgery.
Chapter 4-
Well it is rather bland in my mind since I read it about a month ago. I do know that I had some bones with the chapter. That Xanny promised would be addressed in later chapters, it was kind of fixed in chapter 5, but chapter 4 saw the death of the King of Hyrule. Well I thought that, that aspect of the chapter was kind of well kind of crappy. The king died and the chapter made it seem like a secondary thing. It's hardly ever mentioned in that chapter.
I mean the man ruled the kingdom so I expected it to be a big event. I mean it should be the talk of the kingdom. It is overshadowed by Zelda becoming Queen and well the arrival of Coris. Come to think of it. this story has just made me realize something else. Who exactly is the main character of this story. It seems to flop flip between Zelda and Link.
Chap 5-
Well, this is the chapter that freshest in my mind. Not to say much. I got WrestleMania X-Seven on behind me and was reading Bond's preview while also using well AIM.
Anyhow, this chapter somewhat answers my concerns dealing with the death of the King. The ceremony isn't yet but people are there to pay their respects. Some aspects seem to be planted for later use, such as the training session.
The main plot point of this chapter seems to be finding out the deal with Coris. By the end of the chapter, you are able to figure it out but is left with a tad bit more questions. Which is a fine stryle of writing since it makes the reader interested in continue reading.
That's basically it asince I'm lazy, but I would like to point out one thing. Not really dealing with my review, but some of the comments on the forum about your fanfic. The part about the Kokiro people. If you believe that you need to include it for whatever reasons, go ahead and include it. Even, if you are forced to deviate from what is established in the game.