The Worst Story Ever Told

[Neo]

Below you will find both parts of "The Worst Story Ever Told," a delightful tale of a young Prince hoping to gain the respect of his parents. In order to do so he must recover their most precious belonging, the Golden Key! This key unlocks a valuable treasure and must be recovered. If you read the story and decipher the clues you too can locate the key!

This game requires no special skills and anyone who can read can find the key. Check this forum periodically for additional clues to aid you in your search. Good luck!

[Neo]

Part I:

Encoded within the story is the location of the GameTavern Golden Key. The key is used to unlock a chest containing a brand new DS Lite.


It was almost seven o’clock on Treasure Island and Prince Peter Henlein was making his way home for dinner. He had been late fifteen nights in a row and did not want to disappoint his mother again. She said then when he reached the age of twenty-one he could do what he wished but until that time he had to live by their three simple rules: Do your chores, clean up after yourself and be home on time for dinner. A cat may have nine lives but the young prince only had 1, and he did not wish to lose it. :hmm: He wasn't sure he believed his parents would actually execute him, but they had threatened as much and he didn't want to risk it. They had already forgiven him ten times but he didn't know how patient they would be with him even if he was only sixteen. He had a brother who was seven, but no one paid any attention to him because the Queen believed that seven was an unlucky number and she seeked to somehow banish it from the kingdom. :ban:

Peter traveled under orange skies as he made his way to the castle. When he arrived he immediately noticed there was no guard on duty. This was strange because normally there would be at least twenty-three. After he made it inside he immediately made his way to the dining hall where his parents were waiting for him. "You just barely made it in time" said the :amidala:, "I bet you didn't start heading home until way past five o'clock. You need to leave earlier to make sure you get home on time."

"I know," replied the Prince. "I just wanted to finish this painting. I hope to sell it in town." :deal:

"Oh honey," said the :amidala:, "you know you suck balls as an artist. Your last painting wouldn't have fetched twelve doubloons. You should give up now while you're still young."

Prince Henlein looked away in shame. "That's right," said the :king:, "besides, we have something more important for you to attend to." Prince Henlein looked up curiously. The :king: continued: "Approximately eighteen hours ago a prankster made off with our prized golden key. I sent the guards after him but they are an incompetent lot and I want you to take care of this personally. We know the person who did it and he’s not interested in money. He just likes to steal things and hide them in odd places. Can I count on you, lad?"

"Of course you can!" cried the Prince. Finally, a way he could impress his parents! He tried to gain their love and admiration through his crappy drawings, but his latest attempts were met with scorn and mockery. This was the 1st real opportunity he had to show his parents that he was worthy of inheriting the kingdom of Treasure Island. He knew had better hurry though since the thief had an eighteen hour head-start.

As soon as dinner was over he went to Visit his uncle Citrus Jim in the orange grove to ask for advice. Prince Henlein new that Citrus Jim hated his nickname but no one could figure out why as there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. They just figured that either he suffered brain damage when he was dropped on his head at the tender age of 5 :retard: or that he suffered from PTSD from his time in the military. He probably felt that no one understood him, which was fine because frankly no one did. He was in charge of tending the orange grove, hence his nickname.

"Hello Uncle, I need your help." said the Prince.

"Yeev come to ask me about the missing key, haven't yee?" asked Jim.

"Yeah that's right! Do you have any idea where I could start looking?" asked the Prince.

"As a matter of fact, I have a Very good idea what happened to it. But before I tell yee, there be twenty-four things you must do fer me." said Jim. The Prince suddenly looked depressed. “I’m just kidding ya lad,” joshed Uncle Jim, “it’s just 1 thing. "Um okay, what is it?" inquired the Prince. "Well, not four minutes ago I saw that damn dog of yours digging in my orange grove. I want you to catch him, kill him, and then eat him. Ass-backwards." :Puke:

[Neo]

Part II


"You-u-u- want me to eat Pooky?" Prince Henlein looked absolutely mortified. :errr:

"Do it! Or you'll never gain the love of your parents." :whip:

Reluctantly, Peter agreed to his terms. It took him ten hours to find Pooky since it is a big castle with twelve floors. He eventually found him, coat soaked in orange juices, sleeping in the closet. He quickly strangled Pooky until finally the whimpering stopped. :distress: Despite his exhuastion, he managed to consume his beloved pet. He did as instructed, eating the dog from the rear forward. After he finished with the head he returned to the grove to see Citrus Jim.

"And now," Jim said, "Turn around and close your eyes." :hump:

After about eighteen minutes Jim looked at the Prince and said "Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" :guitar:

"It hurts you jerk.” :mad2:

"Don't worry, that will heal. But more importantly, I have given you a gift. :bir: You see Peter, I have always had the gift of site, but I myself can't see anything. I have to pass on my psychic knowledge to others via my own bodily fluids. Tonight you should have an interesting dream. And that dream will tell you where to find the Golden Key. “

True to his word, that night Prince Peter had strange dreams with confusing images. He saw a sign and read aloud “99... snakes?” He couldn’t be sure if that’s what it really said because always forgot his glasses in his dreams and everything appeared blurry. Next the image of the prankster appeared to him and said “If you want to find the golden key you must hurry before the sign and cast a net.” He then traced a figure in the air with his index finger.

The next morning Peter tried to draw what he saw in his dream but he couldn’t make heads or tails of the result since he's such a crappy artist. But Prince Peter did not give up and he went to the castle computer lab in room twenty-four to meditate. After drawing the simple shapes he saw with MS Paint it all suddenly became Very clear. He now knew where the key was hidden, and he would find it before six o'clock. :stud:

That evening Prince Peter sat with his parents. Actually his parents sat but the Prince had to stand due to his inflamed rectum. "Well done lad," exclaimed the :king: as he peeled an orange, “you have truly proven your worth by locating the key!" :yippie: The :amidala: then presented her son with a fine reward – a common household item with the image from his dream inscribed on the face. "Does that mean you love me now?" pleaded the prince. "Well no, not really,” replied the :king:. Then everyone had a good laugh. :rofl:

THE END

[GameMaster]

I'm going to wait here until it is revealed. I really want to read it!

[Acebot44]

This story is funny, kehehehe! :D

[Neo]

The story has now been revealed to everyone! Go to the location described in the story and you will find the Golden Key. Also stay tuned for additional clues to the location of the Key. I will try to release one clue per week though I'll probably do more.