Ultimae Female Fantasy

[BreakABone]

Might as well add the dumb joke... besides me;)

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the
woman could not take her eyes away from him. The young man noticed her overly-attentive stare & walked directly toward her.* Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring, the young man said to her, 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100, on one condition.' Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The young man replied, 'You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.' The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which she pressed into the young man's hand along with
her address. She looked deeply into his eyes & slowly, meaningfully said,
"CLEAN MY HOUSE!"*****

[Happydude]

ummm.....:unsure:

k...that was...surprising...i guess

[Revival]

That was stupid.

[Angrist]

How... romantic...

[Joeiss]

Wow... I was expecting something like "lick me please"...

[Xantar]

Damnit, I can't believe you made me come in here to read this sh*t.

*kicks a newbie on the way out*

[The Germanator]

Shouldn't have been the other way around? Like, the man telling the woman to "clean my house"? Considering women should be doing housework and stuff...yeh...

[Perfect Stu]

*crickets chirping*

[fingersman]

I got one although i'm not sure if it's really that good. :D
I had another I wanted to post but I couldn't find it

MOODS OF A WOMAN

An angel of truth and a dream of fiction.
A woman is a bundle of contradiction.
She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse.
But will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house.

She'll take him for better, she'll take him for worse.
She'll break open his head and then be his nurse.
But when he's well and can get out of bed,
She'll pick up the teapot and aim for his head.

She'll call him a king, then make him a clown.
Raise him on a pedestal, then knock him flat down.
She'll run away from him and never come back.
But if he runs away, then she'll be on his tracks.

Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose
She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose
She'll win you in range, enchant you in silk
She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk

At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad.
She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.


MOODS OF A MAN

Horny.

[Jason1]

Sorry BreakABone, But that was pretty lame.

[Cyrax9]

Break-A-Bone, it might have been pretty lame, but I could picture it happening. Belive me, if there's anything my mother wants done for her, without her having to do it, it's having the house cleaned. Me, personally I like to sit on my fat @$$, and play GBA while she's trying to clean, pisses her off to death.

[Kitana85]

Men... guys... boys.

:rolleyes:

[Perfect Stu]

Originally posted by Kitana85
Men... guys... boys.

:rolleyes:

Get back in the kitchen, woman!











;)

[LoudHowardZERO]

I can't believe I wasted my time reading this ****

[BreakABone]

Originally posted by Perfect Stu


Get back in the kitchen, woman!











;)

Kitana gonna kill...hahahah

*Sits back and wait for the fight*

[Ravishing Rick Rude]

Originally posted by LoudHowardZERO
I can't believe I wasted my time reading this ****

I can't believe you waste our time by still posting here

Btw, instead of taking the ***** way of being banned

actually do something.