Unnatural Selection

[Neo]

The wait is finally over! The first Chambers soap opera based on the Sims 2! Read and enjoy low-quality motion videos! Can life possibly get any better?


Welcome to the town of Pleasantview! You're just in time to witness the retirement party of Onii Eohmaxidsold (OH-nee EE-oh-MAX-id-sold), the head of the Home for Troubled Youths and all-around upstanding citizen. His lovely wife Ester is also present, as is their daughter Shirley and son-in-law Chester along with their children Ursula, Dean, and Mia (ME-uh). Also in attendance is Fak Yu Had, a Chinese exchange student who is staying with the Eohmaxidsolds. Onii has lived a life of service to the community and consequently his family has very little money of their own. All eight of them live in a two-person house with minimal furnishings. Onii had forbidden his family from taking part in any outside occupations, but now that he is retiring they are free to pursue their own interests. Not in attendance is one Ben Waeguspack. Onii used to be best friends with Old Ben, until it came out that Onii was banging his wife Myrtle. To add insult to injury, Onii's son-in-law Chester also had a piece of Myrtle. Together Onii and Chester bent her over backwards and did her six ways from Sunday. Myrtle eventually passed away due to syphilis, God rest her soul. Ben's grandson Jack has lived with him ever since Jack's parents were killed in an unfortunate ice-skating accident. Jack's younger sibling Trisomy Trina is also under Ben's care. Trina has Down Syndrome and needs special attention. Ben has become a raging alcoholic and Jack blames the Eohmaxidsolds for just about everything wrong in his life.

*Embedded videos available upon request

Season 1 (http://www.gametavern.net/Neo/sims_us1.doc)

Season 2 (http://www.gametavern.net/Neo/sims_us2.doc)

Season 3 (http://www.gametavern.net/Neo/sims_us3.doc), Season 3 Movies (http://www.gametavern.net/Neo/movies3)

[Neo]

I noticed some of the embedded videos don't work....those will be fixed in due time.

[GameMaster]

Read and approved. Really though, you've created an engaging story based on a series of suggestive and not-so-suggestive in-game shots. I couldn't get your videos to work but I shall try again when you've address the issues.

I have to applaud your ability to stick with that game. I bought Sims 2 when it came out and I couldn't stick with it very long. Basically, I hate having to feed and ensure they go to the bathroom. I realize that's part of the mechanics of the game but I just want to play God, not nanny. I'm only interested in guiding their money, sexual lives, and social patterns. They need to learn how to take care of themselves. For God's sake, if you have to go to the bathroom, go to the f---ing bathroom and stop whining to me, f---ing Sim. Do I need to click and direct your every action? You know what, f--k it you stupid little Sim, go soil yourself and then fall asleep on the wet remains left on the floor because I'm not going click you to your f--king bed either.

[Neo]

There are ways to make bathrooms more accessable to sims. But if all else fails you there is a cheat you can enter to reset their mood values. They generally take care of themselves though if there are not too many distractions.

[GameMaster]

Cheats, you say?

Aside from Action Replay, that's my second favorite word!

Perhaps it's time to give this another go...

You fix the videos yet, Mr. Chambers?

[Neo]

Season 2 released!

[Neo]

Season 3 online!

If you are reading this then I have escaped justice by dying from natural causes. Do not worry, for I will always be close by, mocking you and your attempts to find at least some temporary respite from your hollow, meaningless lives. Over the course of my life I had several wives (at the same time), struck it rich, and eliminated three of my enemies. What have all of you done with your lives? Nothing! Dean, you and Mia went off to college to become educated, but you must be retarded since I was able to convince you to plug your little sister. Chester, you were on your way to the top of the substandard housing industry when you had to embarrass all of us by becoming pregnant. And Ursula, don’t even get me started on you. I wish I had convinced Sherry to have an abortion. Anyway, I know you little blood-sucking whores are after my money, but I’m not going to make it easy on you. As Larry the Lawyer has instructed, Dean will have to defeat Jack in a contest of money-making abilities before he can win my estate. Dean, if you win you can keep everything yourself or share the love with the family if so choose, much the same way you shared your love with Mia in bed, you filthy degenerate. If you lose, a chimpanzee named Bananas will have the pleasure of making you his bitch on national television. And Jack, while it’s true your grandfather was a talentless loser who tried to steal my beloved Ester, I feel I owe you an apology since it wasn’t your fault you were raised by a gutless pencil-necked dweeb. Here’s your chance for revenge, though it wouldn’t surprise me if you’re the one who ends up playing soggy biscuit with a primate. See you in hell, bitches!