"men" jokes... [Archive]

Su-Yin

06-12-2005, 09:22 AM

This one is for the GALS.

Men are like....
1. Men are like ........Laxatives ......
They irritate the sh*t out of you.

2. Men are like .......Bananas ......
The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ........Weather .....
Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like ........Blenders ....
You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like .......Chocolate Bars ....
Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ....Commercials ......
You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like ...Department Stores .....
Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like ..Government Bonds ......
They take soooooooo long to mature

9. Men are like .......Mascara ...... They usually run at the first
sign of emotion.

10. Men are like ........Popcorn .....
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like . Snowstorms ....
You never know when they're coming, how
many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like .........Lava Lamps ....
Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like .Parking Spots .......
All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

:p my mom forwarded this to me...thought id share it haha

Happydude

06-12-2005, 10:28 AM

BAH! all those things are untrue!

Acebot44

06-12-2005, 12:09 PM

12 is the only one that makes no sense whatsoever :mad:

thatmariolover

06-12-2005, 01:52 PM

Haha. Very nice. Right along the lines of the "Mens Rules" series of jokes that have been on the Internet for a while now:

Mens Rules

Rule # 1 Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

Rule # 2 If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Rule # 3 If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

Rule # 4 It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

Rule # 5 Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?

Rule # 6 Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

Rule # 7 You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - Not both.

Rule # 8 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.

Rule # 9 Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

Rule # 10 Women who wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

Rule # 11 When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.

Rule # 12 Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

Crash

06-12-2005, 02:37 PM

LOL at 11 :D

Su-Yin

06-12-2005, 06:40 PM

Haha. Very nice. Right along the lines of the "Mens Rules" series of jokes that have been on the Internet for a while now:

Mens Rules

haha nice come back :p

Jason1

06-12-2005, 07:11 PM

This one is for the GALS.

11. Men are like . Snowstorms ....
You never know when they're coming, how
many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

That one is my favorite.

DimHalo

06-12-2005, 09:11 PM

i got those in a forward my mom sent to me a few years ago. they are very funny.

DarrenMcLeod

06-13-2005, 12:00 AM

Q:What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

A:Nothing, you already told the bitch twice!

(Poster's note: This joke, though considered funny, does not represent the opinions and/or actions of one DarrenMcLeod)

Crash

06-13-2005, 01:23 AM

Q. Why do women fake orgasms?

A. Cause they think we actually care.

:rofl:

Acebot44

06-13-2005, 01:39 AM

Q: What do Michael Jackson and a second place race horse have in common?

A: They both come in a little behind.

....wait, is this out of place?

Crash

06-13-2005, 02:53 AM

Q: What do Michael Jackson and a second place race horse have in common?

A: They both come in a little behind.

....wait, is this out of place?

OMG, that was bad........(and completely untrue) :D :rofl:

Typhoid

06-13-2005, 02:59 AM

Q: Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and zits?

A: Zits done come on a boys face until he is 15.

(This one courtesy of Dylflons brother)

Q:How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 2.....because they're stupid.

Crash

06-13-2005, 03:27 AM

Q:How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 2.....because they're stupid.

:usa: :rock:

ulala06

06-13-2005, 02:54 PM