Science people might appreciate [Archive]

Neo

04-15-2005, 09:25 AM

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/04/14/mit.prank.reut/index.html

CAMBRIDGE, Massachusetts (Reuters) -- In a victory for pranksters at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, a bunch of computer-generated gibberish masquerading as an academic paper has been accepted at a scientific conference.

Jeremy Stribling said Thursday that he and two fellow MIT graduate students questioned the standards of some academic conferences, so they wrote a computer program to generate research papers complete with "context-free grammar," charts and diagrams.

The trio submitted two of the randomly assembled papers to the World Multi-Conference on Systemics, Cybernetics and Informatics (WMSCI), scheduled to be held July 10-13 in Orlando, Florida.

To their surprise, one of the papers -- "Rooter: A Methodology for the Typical Unification of Access Points and Redundancy" -- was accepted for presentation.

The prank recalled a 1996 hoax in which New York University physicist Alan Sokal succeeded in getting an entire paper with a mix of truths, falsehoods, non sequiturs and otherwise meaningless mumbo-jumbo published in the quarterly journal Social Text, published by Duke University Press.

Stribling said he and his colleagues only learned about the Social Text affair after submitting their paper.

"Rooter" features such mind-bending gems as: "the model for our heuristic consists of four independent components: simulated annealing, active networks, flexible modalities, and the study of reinforcement learning" and "We implemented our scatter/gather I/O server in Simula-67, augmented with opportunistically pipelined extensions."

Stribling said the trio targeted WMSCI because it is notorious within the field of computer science for sending copious e-mails that solicit admissions to the conference.

The idea of a fake submission was to counter "fake conferences...which exist only to make money," explained Stribling and his cohorts' website, "SCIgen - An Automatic CS Paper Generator."

"Our aim is to maximize amusement, rather than coherence," it said. The website allows users to "Generate a Random Paper" themselves, with fields for inserting "optional author names."

"Contrarily, the lookaside buffer might not be the panacea..."
Nagib Callaos, a conference organizer, said the paper was one of a small number accepted on a "non-reviewed" basis -- meaning that reviewers had not yet given their feedback by the acceptance deadline.

"We thought that it might be unfair to refuse a paper that was not refused by any of its three selected reviewers," Callaos wrote in an e-mail. "The author of a non-reviewed paper has complete responsibility of the content of their paper."

However, Callaos said conference organizers were reviewing their acceptance procedures in light of the hoax.

Asked whether he would disinvite the MIT students, Callos replied, "Bogus papers should not be included in the conference program."

Stribling said conference organizers had not yet formally rescinded their invitation to present the paper.

The students were soliciting cash donations so they could attend the conference and give what Stribling billed as a "completely randomly-generated talk, delivered entirely with a straight face."

They exceeded their goal, with $2,311.09 cents from 165 donors.

Teuthida

04-15-2005, 04:07 PM

Emulating Thin Clients Using Distributed Information
Shiggy Gates

1 Introduction

"Fuzzy" information and extreme programming have garnered profound interest from both futurists and steganographers in the last several years. Nevertheless, a structured quandary in steganography is the simulation of concurrent modalities. Continuing with this rationale, given the current status of relational models, computational biologists predictably desire the deployment of neural networks. The confusing unification of compilers and forward-error correction would greatly amplify adaptive information.

To our knowledge, our work in this position paper marks the first methodology constructed specifically for decentralized modalities. Existing unstable and Bayesian applications use electronic communication to request RAID [19]. The basic tenet of this approach is the analysis of sensor networks. Combined with operating systems, such a claim evaluates a framework for wide-area networks [19].

In this paper we describe new multimodal epistemologies (AniHut), validating that SCSI disks and DHCP can synchronize to fulfill this goal. we view software engineering as following a cycle of four phases: simulation, construction, synthesis, and prevention. However, stable technology might not be the panacea that hackers worldwide expected. While conventional wisdom states that this issue is mostly fixed by the construction of sensor networks, we believe that a different method is necessary. Continuing with this rationale, existing knowledge-base and cooperative methodologies use digital-to-analog converters to refine Moore's Law [23]. Therefore, we confirm that though flip-flop gates can be made collaborative, large-scale, and linear-time, e-commerce and the location-identity split are generally incompatible.

The contributions of this work are as follows. To start off with, we show that massive multiplayer online role-playing games and Smalltalk can cooperate to achieve this aim. Second, we prove that access points and DNS can connect to address this grand challenge. Similarly, we present an analysis of multicast frameworks (AniHut), showing that RAID can be made "smart", electronic, and heterogeneous [24,2]. In the end, we explore a system for compilers (AniHut), showing that the Turing machine and redundancy can collude to achieve this mission.

The rest of this paper is organized as follows. Primarily, we motivate the need for lambda calculus. Further, to overcome this challenge, we use embedded configurations to argue that extreme programming and DHTs are rarely incompatible. We place our work in context with the prior work in this area. On a similar note, to achieve this ambition, we investigate how DHTs can be applied to the construction of DHCP. Finally, we conclude.

2 Model

Next, we construct our methodology for demonstrating that our approach runs in O(n2) time. We show the relationship between AniHut and mobile symmetries in Figure 1. Furthermore, AniHut does not require such a confusing evaluation to run correctly, but it doesn't hurt. We use our previously developed results as a basis for all of these assumptions.

dia0.png
Figure 1: The schematic used by AniHut.

Despite the results by John Backus et al., we can argue that 802.11 mesh networks and compilers can interfere to achieve this objective. Despite the fact that researchers often hypothesize the exact opposite, our framework depends on this property for correct behavior. Further, we assume that each component of our algorithm manages the UNIVAC computer, independent of all other components. Although hackers worldwide regularly assume the exact opposite, our system depends on this property for correct behavior. The methodology for our system consists of four independent components: the Ethernet, empathic algorithms, the simulation of gigabit switches, and the deployment of the location-identity split. Along these same lines, AniHut does not require such an important provision to run correctly, but it doesn't hurt. AniHut does not require such an appropriate development to run correctly, but it doesn't hurt.

dia1.png
Figure 2: The relationship between AniHut and SMPs.

Reality aside, we would like to visualize a model for how our system might behave in theory. Furthermore, we consider an algorithm consisting of n red-black trees. Despite the results by J. Davis et al., we can validate that cache coherence and the transistor can synchronize to solve this grand challenge. This may or may not actually hold in reality. Obviously, the methodology that our system uses is not feasible.

3 Implementation

After several minutes of arduous coding, we finally have a working implementation of AniHut. We have not yet implemented the hand-optimized compiler, as this is the least practical component of our heuristic [19,16,13]. We have not yet implemented the hand-optimized compiler, as this is the least robust component of our framework. It was necessary to cap the instruction rate used by our application to 65 MB/S. Since AniHut turns the efficient modalities sledgehammer into a scalpel, programming the collection of shell scripts was relatively straightforward. Our algorithm is composed of a codebase of 97 Simula-67 files, a codebase of 78 Dylan files, and a server daemon.

4 Experimental Evaluation and Analysis

Measuring a system as unstable as ours proved more onerous than with previous systems. Only with precise measurements might we convince the reader that performance is king. Our overall evaluation method seeks to prove three hypotheses: (1) that flash-memory throughput behaves fundamentally differently on our mobile telephones; (2) that lambda calculus no longer impacts system design; and finally (3) that the Apple ][e of yesteryear actually exhibits better response time than today's hardware. We hope to make clear that our reducing the sampling rate of pseudorandom symmetries is the key to our performance analysis.

4.1 Hardware and Software Configuration

figure0.png
Figure 3: The effective clock speed of AniHut, compared with the other methodologies.

One must understand our network configuration to grasp the genesis of our results. We carried out a deployment on UC Berkeley's desktop machines to prove "fuzzy" communication's inability to effect the work of American analyst L. Zhou. Had we simulated our system, as opposed to deploying it in the wild, we would have seen degraded results. We doubled the effective ROM throughput of our system to examine archetypes. We doubled the ROM space of our 10-node overlay network to understand information. We doubled the effective USB key throughput of our mobile telephones to consider the effective RAM speed of our network. Had we simulated our underwater testbed, as opposed to simulating it in bioware, we would have seen duplicated results. Next, we added more optical drive space to our signed testbed [25]. Finally, we reduced the effective RAM space of our desktop machines [26].

figure1.png
Figure 4: The mean sampling rate of our application, as a function of time since 1953.

Building a sufficient software environment took time, but was well worth it in the end.. All software was hand hex-editted using AT&T System V's compiler with the help of X. Thomas's libraries for oportunistically simulating power strips. All software was hand assembled using AT&T System V's compiler with the help of Robert Tarjan's libraries for mutually emulating Bayesian SCSI disks. Second, Similarly, our experiments soon proved that interposing on our disjoint 2400 baud modems was more effective than reprogramming them, as previous work suggested [1]. This concludes our discussion of software modifications.

4.2 Experiments and Results

figure2.png
Figure 5: Note that response time grows as energy decreases - a phenomenon worth developing in its own right.

We have taken great pains to describe out evaluation setup; now, the payoff, is to discuss our results. Seizing upon this contrived configuration, we ran four novel experiments: (1) we deployed 11 Apple ][es across the 100-node network, and tested our RPCs accordingly; (2) we compared effective complexity on the FreeBSD, Microsoft Windows for Workgroups and FreeBSD operating systems; (3) we ran online algorithms on 43 nodes spread throughout the 2-node network, and compared them against operating systems running locally; and (4) we ran information retrieval systems on 41 nodes spread throughout the 2-node network, and compared them against sensor networks running locally. We discarded the results of some earlier experiments, notably when we deployed 55 Atari 2600s across the underwater network, and tested our systems accordingly.

We first shed light on experiments (1) and (3) enumerated above. Note how deploying suffix trees rather than deploying them in the wild produce more jagged, more reproducible results. Bugs in our system caused the unstable behavior throughout the experiments. Gaussian electromagnetic disturbances in our Internet-2 cluster caused unstable experimental results.

Shown in Figure 3, experiments (3) and (4) enumerated above call attention to our heuristic's mean sampling rate. Error bars have been elided, since most of our data points fell outside of 27 standard deviations from observed means. Second, the curve in Figure 4 should look familiar; it is better known as G*(n) = log[logn/n]. The key to Figure 5 is closing the feedback loop; Figure 4 shows how our system's effective energy does not converge otherwise.

Lastly, we discuss the first two experiments. Note that Figure 3 shows the mean and not 10th-percentile noisy effective flash-memory speed. Further, operator error alone cannot account for these results. Furthermore, note that link-level acknowledgements have less discretized effective response time curves than do distributed Lamport clocks.

5 Related Work

We now consider previous work. An analysis of evolutionary programming [11] proposed by I. Jackson et al. fails to address several key issues that AniHut does overcome. Unlike many prior solutions, we do not attempt to measure or improve "fuzzy" information. Our system represents a significant advance above this work. Recent work by Martinez and Lee [17] suggests a system for developing interactive information, but does not offer an implementation. Clearly, the class of heuristics enabled by our heuristic is fundamentally different from previous approaches.

5.1 Concurrent Configurations

AniHut builds on existing work in event-driven epistemologies and programming languages [29]. A recent unpublished undergraduate dissertation [25] motivated a similar idea for Web services. A comprehensive survey [22] is available in this space. While White and Qian also constructed this solution, we synthesized it independently and simultaneously. A litany of previous work supports our use of the construction of symmetric encryption [3]. These methods typically require that Lamport clocks [18,20] and voice-over-IP are often incompatible [21], and we verified in this position paper that this, indeed, is the case.

A number of related systems have studied homogeneous theory, either for the confusing unification of online algorithms and online algorithms [21,12,8] or for the development of telephony [1]. This solution is even more expensive than ours. Although James Gray et al. also motivated this approach, we enabled it independently and simultaneously [24,27]. Instead of harnessing introspective modalities, we realize this mission simply by improving real-time communication [14]. These applications typically require that the well-known adaptive algorithm for the construction of semaphores by Matt Welsh et al. is optimal [7,28,4], and we validated in our research that this, indeed, is the case.

5.2 Relational Technology

We now compare our method to previous encrypted communication solutions. This is arguably unfair. A pseudorandom tool for developing replication [15,6,3] [10] proposed by Sun and Davis fails to address several key issues that AniHut does overcome. These applications typically require that the foremost certifiable algorithm for the synthesis of Boolean logic by Kenneth Iverson et al. [5] runs in O(n) time [9], and we validated in this paper that this, indeed, is the case.

6 Conclusion

We validated in this work that the location-identity split and multi-processors are continuously incompatible, and AniHut is no exception to that rule. We constructed a concurrent tool for emulating write-ahead logging (AniHut), verifying that web browsers and the Turing machine are regularly incompatible. Though such a claim is largely a confusing aim, it is derived from known results. We used Bayesian theory to argue that 802.11b can be made interactive, authenticated, and constant-time. We validated not only that the well-known embedded algorithm for the visualization of 802.11 mesh networks by Takahashi and Wang is impossible, but that the same is true for the lookaside buffer. We plan to make AniHut available on the Web for public download.