Ace195
04-14-2005, 07:39 AM
Yeah so I'm dissapointed at my life to date.. I needed to make something of myself so I did. And everything in my life falls apart because I wanted to feel good inside my head. I wanted to be able to look in the mirror and not be angry.
So here I sit in afghanistan looking into the mirror wishing that all would have been better played out than this.
Let me fill you in to my life until today.
Well as most of you know I'm currently stationed in Bagram Afghanistan which I wouldn't trade for anyone in the world. I would enjoy life here if I didn't come over here with a girlfriend. Well that's been fixed. About 50 days from my return trip home. My girlfriend calls me having problems with her friends.
I'm trying to be supportive twoards her I'm trying to understand whats going on but she keeps taking out her aggression on me. I can only take so much of her being angry at them and taking it out on me. I'm a really calm person if your of the female persuasion. So were talking and she starts to flip out.. so finally I make the mistake of saying just stop yelling at me I didn't do anything.. And then we got into a huge argument. *note* It's been one big argument after another since I left the country.. */end* I try and diffuse the situation and yet nothing seems to correct the problem. So finally getting fed up with it all I ask do you want to be with me? And an answer I didn't like hit.. It hit like a sledge hammer.
No... Having no response to that I said, goodbye.. and just hung up the phone..
I'm so attached to this girl it isn't even funny.. And yet I don't mean much to her at all.. She's angry with her friends and yet I'm the guy that she says goodbye too.. when it should be her friends to go.. She told me once that Friends will always be there for you.. How wrong you are.. Your "true" friends like I was will be there for you no matter what.. Friends like rach and them will leave you when you no longer convient to have around. And I'm the sucker..
Ugh.. So now I sit here trying to reconsile everything. And John Mayer said it best. My Stupid Mouth Got Me In Trouble Again... I was talking to her this evening, and I said something,, She didn't listen to what I said she got angry and said well it sounded like ..... I was like we'll thats not what I said.. and she said well your tone it sounded like this... and I'm like your not listening..
Finally after arguing for about 10 mins I just shout into the phone SHUT UP already.. I'm trying to apologize I just want to stop this argument.. and she kept going so I said I'm done.. and she said done with what and I'm like.... This argument what else would I be done with..
WTF..... This is such a joke now she's mad at me I don't have a girlfriend and I feel terrible inside...
Aside from that we've had 4 rocket attacks and one mortar shot at us.. This COUNTRY SUCKS!!! I just want to get back to FT Benning so I can be back on the same time zone as everyone I love..
On top of it all they are going to be closing my office soon so I don't have a job to come home to..
What a ****ing week... what a ****ing month.... I quit.. if I wasn't so against suicide I might consider it..
****ing stupid ARMY stupid deployment.... STUPID WOMEN.. :( I give up I can't win with anything.. I just can't wait to get home :( Anyone from the Iowa area with hott friends.. JK... sorry couldn't resist..
So here I sit in afghanistan looking into the mirror wishing that all would have been better played out than this.
Let me fill you in to my life until today.
Well as most of you know I'm currently stationed in Bagram Afghanistan which I wouldn't trade for anyone in the world. I would enjoy life here if I didn't come over here with a girlfriend. Well that's been fixed. About 50 days from my return trip home. My girlfriend calls me having problems with her friends.
I'm trying to be supportive twoards her I'm trying to understand whats going on but she keeps taking out her aggression on me. I can only take so much of her being angry at them and taking it out on me. I'm a really calm person if your of the female persuasion. So were talking and she starts to flip out.. so finally I make the mistake of saying just stop yelling at me I didn't do anything.. And then we got into a huge argument. *note* It's been one big argument after another since I left the country.. */end* I try and diffuse the situation and yet nothing seems to correct the problem. So finally getting fed up with it all I ask do you want to be with me? And an answer I didn't like hit.. It hit like a sledge hammer.
No... Having no response to that I said, goodbye.. and just hung up the phone..
I'm so attached to this girl it isn't even funny.. And yet I don't mean much to her at all.. She's angry with her friends and yet I'm the guy that she says goodbye too.. when it should be her friends to go.. She told me once that Friends will always be there for you.. How wrong you are.. Your "true" friends like I was will be there for you no matter what.. Friends like rach and them will leave you when you no longer convient to have around. And I'm the sucker..
Ugh.. So now I sit here trying to reconsile everything. And John Mayer said it best. My Stupid Mouth Got Me In Trouble Again... I was talking to her this evening, and I said something,, She didn't listen to what I said she got angry and said well it sounded like ..... I was like we'll thats not what I said.. and she said well your tone it sounded like this... and I'm like your not listening..
Finally after arguing for about 10 mins I just shout into the phone SHUT UP already.. I'm trying to apologize I just want to stop this argument.. and she kept going so I said I'm done.. and she said done with what and I'm like.... This argument what else would I be done with..
WTF..... This is such a joke now she's mad at me I don't have a girlfriend and I feel terrible inside...
Aside from that we've had 4 rocket attacks and one mortar shot at us.. This COUNTRY SUCKS!!! I just want to get back to FT Benning so I can be back on the same time zone as everyone I love..
On top of it all they are going to be closing my office soon so I don't have a job to come home to..
What a ****ing week... what a ****ing month.... I quit.. if I wasn't so against suicide I might consider it..
****ing stupid ARMY stupid deployment.... STUPID WOMEN.. :( I give up I can't win with anything.. I just can't wait to get home :( Anyone from the Iowa area with hott friends.. JK... sorry couldn't resist..