Why is it so hard...

[Bube]

...to say that you like someone? To say those three words "I love you"? Have you ever thought about it?

I found out why I did after some hours of talking about this with my ex-girlfriend, when she was "just a friend" (a long time ago :)).

Let's assume that I don't know how she feels about me. When I tell this person that I like her, it seems to me that she would get upset. You know those "go home, lie on bed and cry for hours" most females like to do. I wouldn't want to do something like that to a person I like, and that's why saying "I love you" is so hard for me.

What is it that makes it so hard for you?

[Happydude]

well, for most people it's the fear of rejection to tell someone you like/love them. for me i guess it would be the same. but not anymore, now i don't fear it, first of all because i allready have the best girl in the world for me :p and second because even if i do get rejected i would just be like "eh? k...at least i tried" wouldn't really affect me much.

[DimHalo]

I always had that fear of rejection when it came to telling someone that I like them (for the first time).

As far as saying "I love you" it is definately a big thing to say, especially if you're not sure that the other person feels as strongly about it as you do.

But it still all boils down to a fear of rejection.





And I know what you mean about the crying bit.... I do it too, unfortunately

[Su-Yin]

i dont think its hard...i just dont think i would....ive never seen a point in making moves when i dont get the right vibes....i usually wait for when its really obvious.....if not i just flirt...or casually say it...like...*haha ....your so sweet...i love u*....
:unsure: and then c what happens :p

[GameMaster]

If you say it in a casual manner you might be able to evade the other person taking it too seriously. Then after saying it casually a couple times, you can trying saying it in a more serious, sincere manner.

[DimHalo]

Sounds tricky. It isn't good to trick people.

[Blackmane]

It all has to do with rejection and self-confidence. If you are confident in yourself for who you are, it is easier to tell someone you like/love them.

[Jonbo298]

I havent had this problem yet (down the road I shall....) but its more of the fear factor to it all

[MuGen]

The fear of rejection...

but there is also the fear of comittment... as a result of her accepting your will, and being attached to that person.

then after awhile, you realize... there is a question of whether you DO love her or not.

But in any case... all those factors come into play for me... I'd have to be REALLY infatuated by a girl to say those three words.

[Bube]

I always had that fear of rejection when it came to telling someone that I like them (for the first time).

As far as saying "I love you" it is definately a big thing to say, especially if you're not sure that the other person feels as strongly about it as you do.

But it still all boils down to a fear of rejection.





And I know what you mean about the crying bit.... I do it too, unfortunately
Well, yes, "love" is too strong, you're right. I was talking about saying whatever you'd say to start a relationship (I've seen so different and funny things :)).

[Yan]

The problem is... most of the people I liked/loved before my current relationship already had someone else on their minds. OR someone else that I know of fancies them too. So as usual, me being stuck in the middle, I'd rather back away slowly and just forget about it...

Of course, then you have the fear of rejection too...

[Typhoid]

I've told one girl, and one girl only that I loved her, and its only hard the first time.

Because you dont know how the other person will react.

Like, even when she said it to me, I could tell she was nervous. By the way she was acting.

Its so hard because of what the word means. Love is to care unconditionally for someone.

Yet loving someone, and Being In love with someone are totally different things.

I love 2 of my Girl friends, this doesnt mean I'm in love with them though. To secure that argument, I love my parents, sisters and brother, yet I dont plan on dating any of them ever.

Im jaded now though. Because I tell every girl I love her. Not in a serious way, all the time, When I say it Im usually joking, or I mean it in the way of a friend.

Despite the lack of feelings, it still changes it for you.

[TheSlyMoogle]

Telling someone that you love them is sometimes an easy thing for people to do.

For me I never said it in a meaningful way until recently.

It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I told myself I wouldn't say it unless I really thought I meant it. I think I did mean it this time. I think I mean it everytime I say it.

I think love is a word too often tossed around by people. It's not something you should take so lightly, but I feel it often is.

It was so hard for me to say it before, but now that I am in love, it's not a big deal at all, because it's never a big deal to tell the truth.

I think if it's really love, you'll know, and you wont have a problem with letting them know too, because you know they feel the same way.

[DimHalo]

You know what else can be hard, is having someone say it to you and you don't want to say it back... but you know they expect you to. I've been there, and it was tough.

[TheSlyMoogle]

You know what else can be hard, is having someone say it to you and you don't want to say it back... but you know they expect you to. I've been there, and it was tough.

I've been there also, I know how it feels.

[The Germanator]

I can tell you why it's so hard for me. I'm insanely shy, especially when it comes to dealing with things like this with girls. There probably have been 4 or 5 times already in my life when I've definitely liked a girl but was too petrified to say anything about it. For me it's not just rejection, but it's embarassment. What if I thought that the girl liked me, was pretty confident, but then when I told her/asked her out, and then she reacts like I'm an idiot...For some reason, I always picture the worst case scenario in my mind before getting courage up to ask a girl out, and for that reason, I've never technically done it. I'm also scared about the aftermath of it all if she said no. I honestly don't think I could handle seeing that person on a daily/regular basis, her knowing that I still probably like her, but me knowing that I have no chance. None of this has ever happened to me because I haven't allowed it to happen, which leaves me a bit desperate at his point. Because if I don't allow myself to do it, then there will be a whole lot of lonely years ahead for me. So it goes.

[Su-Yin]

You know what else can be hard, is having someone say it to you and you don't want to say it back... but you know they expect you to. I've been there, and it was tough.


just go...."okay; flattered; thanks".....calmly turn around.... walk away ...and run!...duck for a shoe if one comes flying uri way

lol.....i dont know...realistically speaking, i usually dont give a reaction...i change the subject...but if the person means alot to me i would just apologize and tell them i dont love them the same way i do.
the worst reaction a person could do in this situation is just say "yes i love u too" and lead the person on....personally experienced being the victim...:( wasnt a pretty sight when i found out the truth

[DimHalo]

just go...."okay; flattered; thanks".....calmly turn around.... walk away ...and run!...duck for a shoe if one comes flying uri way

lol.....i dont know...realistically speaking, i usually dont give a reaction...i change the subject...but if the person means alot to me i would just apologize and tell them i dont love them the same way i do.
the worst reaction a person could do in this situation is just say "yes i love u too" and lead the person on....personally experienced being the victim...:( wasnt a pretty sight when i found out the truth


Well, he was my boyfriend and I didn't want to "run away" as you say. So, I just told him thank you and calmly explained that I couldn't say it back to him. He said it was ok. I broke up with him a few weeks later.

[TheSlyMoogle]

Well, he was my boyfriend and I didn't want to "run away" as you say. So, I just told him thank you and calmly explained that I couldn't say it back to him. He said it was ok. I broke up with him a few weeks later.


Oh... Well that's kind of sad for him, poor guy.

[Canyarion]

We're talking about saying it for the first time? Cause I really tell my girlfriend I love her almost every day!

But the first time.... it was hard.... You really love that person.... but when you say that, and she/he doesn't love you back, you could also ruin your friendship. So you try to find out what she thinks of you.

[Ace195]

We're talking about saying it for the first time? Cause I really tell my girlfriend I love her almost every day!

But the first time.... it was hard.... You really love that person.... but when you say that, and she/he doesn't love you back, you could also ruin your friendship. So you try to find out what she thinks of you.
Yeah I tell my girlfriend I love her everyday, and I am IN love with her too and she is with me.

[Dyne]

I can tell you why it's so hard for me. I'm insanely shy, especially when it comes to dealing with things like this with girls. There probably have been 4 or 5 times already in my life when I've definitely liked a girl but was too petrified to say anything about it. For me it's not just rejection, but it's embarassment. What if I thought that the girl liked me, was pretty confident, but then when I told her/asked her out, and then she reacts like I'm an idiot...For some reason, I always picture the worst case scenario in my mind before getting courage up to ask a girl out, and for that reason, I've never technically done it. I'm also scared about the aftermath of it all if she said no. I honestly don't think I could handle seeing that person on a daily/regular basis, her knowing that I still probably like her, but me knowing that I have no chance. None of this has ever happened to me because I haven't allowed it to happen, which leaves me a bit desperate at his point. Because if I don't allow myself to do it, then there will be a whole lot of lonely years ahead for me. So it goes.

That's exactly how I used to be.

You just have to remember the saying, "If you don't look for a relationship in a woman first, they'll look for one in you."

Also, if you look closely, there's hidden meaning in that quote. It says woman, not girl.

I will be damned if I'm ever caught saying if I like a girl or not through straight language.

[ulala06]

hmmm... love is a word that's tossed around a lot nowadays.

i've grown up never saying it, even if you DID love someone. my family just isn't like that, so if i tell someone i love them, i usually really really REALLY mean it.

when people do nothing but tell each other how much they love each other, i think it cheapens it.

[Vampyr]

It's like everything else in the world.

The more of it you have, the less the value.

[Stray_Bullet]

You just have to remember the saying, "If you don't look for a relationship in a woman first, they'll look for one in you."

Yes!

I hadn't heard that beforehand... but it's working out quite nicely.

[Blackmane]

I sometimes feel I throw out the words "I love you" too much without really thinking about whether I truly love the person or not. I am mainly speaking about my g/f, but it happens in general too. Most of the time when I say i love someone, I really just care about them a great deal.

[DeathsHand]

I hate saying "I love you" because I hate the phrase "I love you"... when it's coming from me at least, it sounds, feels, and looks (that's right, looks) awkward...

And because I'd be lying...

[Seth]

I'm just afraid of the commitment that's involved.

commitment is a scary thing when at the tender age of 19.