Neo
01-28-2005, 02:32 PM
The following takes place between 4 AM and 5 AM on the day of the Electronic Entertainment Expo. Events, as always, occur in real time.
4:00:07
Ace195: "We have to get him out of there!"
Happydude: "Gee, would ya? I'd like that."
Just then a familiar voice calls out: "Don't struggle Happydude, it will only make it worse!"
ominub: "Hey it's jeepnut's slave!"
jeepnut's slave: "Solid waste has the consistency of quicksand. Just relax and you should float."
Happydude does as instructed and finds he is now able to keep his head above the diarrhea deluge. This gives the others time to fasten a rope belt out of their shirts which they then toss to Happydude, hauling him to safety.
Neo: "How did you know to do that, jeepnut's slave?"
jeepnut's slave: "Because I fell in myself about 40 min ago."
Happydude: "Well that's just f#ckin' great, man."
jeepnut's slave: "Have you guys seen Link?"
Neo: "We received a message from Bond stating Link was dead and they were in the process of disposing the carcass."
jeepnut's slave: "Nice of them to tell me! I've been wandering around down here for the past two hours!!"
Neo: "We would have told you but you don't have a radio."
jeepnut's slave: "Why am I the only one who wasn't given one?"
Neo: "BECAUSE, we only had a limited number, so we gave them out in order of username length. You have 15 characters so was low priority. I, on the other hand, have only 3 characters so I was first in line."
jeepnut's slave: "I hate you guys!"
With that she takes off running down the side corridor.
Neo: "No, let her go...we need to concentrate on getting the information on this laptop to the GCCC for analysis."
Happydude: "How? The transmitter was on the APC - It's wasted."
Neo: "I have no idea what you just said, but we're underground so we should be able to tap into a phone line to upload the data."
ominub: "Why do we abbreviate GameTavern Central Command Center as 'GCCC'? It sounds silly."
Neo: "Well if you come up with a better name you be sure to let us know, mkay?"
4:14:03
DarkMaster and Link1139 race across Lake Hinkle in the 240HP Sundancer Deluxe craft they "borrowed" from the dock. It is extremely windy and the two of them have a hard time communicating.
DarkMaster(shouting): "Wasn't it great they left the key?"
Link1130: "What? Wasn't it fate they had to pee?"
DarkMaster: "What did you say about my mother?"
Momentarily distracted by the exchange, DarkMaster swerves to narrowly miss a marker buoy, unfortunately he collides with an early-morning swimmer instead.
Link1130: "Christ, cut the engine!"
They come to a stop then backtrack to the place of impact. They discover a body floating motionless in the surf.
Link1130: "Who the hell goes for a swim at four in the morning?
DarkMaster: "Crap! We just ran over Olympic hopeful Anna Tunnicliffe!"
Link1130: "Team America is screwed!"
DarkMaster: "Wait we can fix this! If we summon Dr. Mario maybe he can revive her!"
Link1130: "Yeah that sounds reasonable..."
4:18:15
Nursing a pounding headache, Dyne checks himself into Mercy Medical. Unfortunately the head trauma he experienced as a result of the blow causes him to confuse words. Instead of writing "I got hit on the head" on the information form he instead writes "A big mouse crawled up my anus."
4:26:42
The GCCC is a one-story complex on the edge of the city. It contains a wet bar, arcade games, and offices in the back. Bond and Typhoid are just arriving.
Bond: "Blackmane, standby to receive an upload from Neo. They found a laptop which may be connected to the terrorist threats. Get Stu to help you."
Blackmane: "Will do."
Blackmane opens up a new socket at his workstation and prepares to receive the upload.
Bond: "fingersman, have you heard from GameMaster concerning GameTavern's reconstruction?"
fingersman: "Last I heard he was working on it from Neo's home. After Neo miss-appropriated funds last year he ended up with the most powerful computer available so it was the best option given our time constraints."
Bond: "Okay well call him for an update. Listen up everyone! Today is going to be a very long day. Terrorists are trying to bring us down right when the gaming community needs us the most. They have already killed Dyne and brought our operations to a standstill. We have to find who they are and stop them before it's too late. E3 begins in a matter of hours and we must be there to report the revelations! I know you're all tired but I'm going to need the very best from each and every one of you!"
Blackmane: "HOO-HA!"
4:30:03
GameMaster is mildly surprised when his cell rings.
GameMaster: "Hark! I hear yonder angel calling my name. It's voice is sweet syrupy marmalade goodness which refreshes and virginizes my humble soul."
GameMaster(answering the phone): "Hello! You are a young errand boy here to collect a bill!"
fingersman: "No, this is fingersman. You've been pill-popping again, haven't you?"
GameMaster: "Maybe."
fingersman: "Stay there, we'll send Typhoid to pick you up."
GameMaster: "Yes sir, Captain sir!"
4:35:40
DarkMaster and Link1130 arrive at the power station along with Olympic hopeful Anna Tunnicliffe's lifeless body.
Link1130: "How can Dr Mario possibly help her? The entire left side of her face is caved in!"
DarkMaster(angerly): "How dare you? Do not question the abilities of mighty Dr. Mario. He killed a giant turtle. Several times. Come on let's get setup."
4:40:30
Bond(on phone with Neo): "Okay we received the transmission, it'll take about 15 min to analyze the data."
Neo: "Okay good."
Neo(in background): "Get away from me Happydude, you smell like a turd."
4:45:52
Typhoid touches down at GameMaster's location to witness him chasing a squirrel.
GameMaster: "Come back young Luke, your training is not yet complete!"
Typhoid: "GameMaster, let's go! How far did you get with GameTavern?"
GameMaster: "Oh I mostly finished, and I password protected the files on the server. But you won't get the key from me, no sireee! Hey that rhymes! HAHAHAHA!"
Typhoid: "Mother of God...."
4:52:00
After several minutes of waiting, a nurse finally escorts Dyne to the emergency room where he is prepped for examination.
Nurse: "It says here that you have a large rodent in your rectum, is that correct?"
Dyne(barely coherent): "Huh? I just know it really hurts."
Nurse: "Don't worry, we have the best proctologist this side of the Mississippi!"
Dyne: "Proc-what?"
4:59:30
Bond(on phone with Neo): "Okay we have the results of the laptop analysis."
Neo: "Go ahead."
Bond: "Well there was nothing suspicious until we looked at the ICQ records. One of numbers was 137599253. Neo, that's one of Crash's IDs."
Neo: "My God."
Bond: "We don't know yet if that's the ID of the primary user or just one of the contacts."
Neo: "Do everything you can to find out. We're running out of time."
4:59:57
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4:59:58
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.
.
4:59:59
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.
.
5:00:00
4:00:07
Ace195: "We have to get him out of there!"
Happydude: "Gee, would ya? I'd like that."
Just then a familiar voice calls out: "Don't struggle Happydude, it will only make it worse!"
ominub: "Hey it's jeepnut's slave!"
jeepnut's slave: "Solid waste has the consistency of quicksand. Just relax and you should float."
Happydude does as instructed and finds he is now able to keep his head above the diarrhea deluge. This gives the others time to fasten a rope belt out of their shirts which they then toss to Happydude, hauling him to safety.
Neo: "How did you know to do that, jeepnut's slave?"
jeepnut's slave: "Because I fell in myself about 40 min ago."
Happydude: "Well that's just f#ckin' great, man."
jeepnut's slave: "Have you guys seen Link?"
Neo: "We received a message from Bond stating Link was dead and they were in the process of disposing the carcass."
jeepnut's slave: "Nice of them to tell me! I've been wandering around down here for the past two hours!!"
Neo: "We would have told you but you don't have a radio."
jeepnut's slave: "Why am I the only one who wasn't given one?"
Neo: "BECAUSE, we only had a limited number, so we gave them out in order of username length. You have 15 characters so was low priority. I, on the other hand, have only 3 characters so I was first in line."
jeepnut's slave: "I hate you guys!"
With that she takes off running down the side corridor.
Neo: "No, let her go...we need to concentrate on getting the information on this laptop to the GCCC for analysis."
Happydude: "How? The transmitter was on the APC - It's wasted."
Neo: "I have no idea what you just said, but we're underground so we should be able to tap into a phone line to upload the data."
ominub: "Why do we abbreviate GameTavern Central Command Center as 'GCCC'? It sounds silly."
Neo: "Well if you come up with a better name you be sure to let us know, mkay?"
4:14:03
DarkMaster and Link1139 race across Lake Hinkle in the 240HP Sundancer Deluxe craft they "borrowed" from the dock. It is extremely windy and the two of them have a hard time communicating.
DarkMaster(shouting): "Wasn't it great they left the key?"
Link1130: "What? Wasn't it fate they had to pee?"
DarkMaster: "What did you say about my mother?"
Momentarily distracted by the exchange, DarkMaster swerves to narrowly miss a marker buoy, unfortunately he collides with an early-morning swimmer instead.
Link1130: "Christ, cut the engine!"
They come to a stop then backtrack to the place of impact. They discover a body floating motionless in the surf.
Link1130: "Who the hell goes for a swim at four in the morning?
DarkMaster: "Crap! We just ran over Olympic hopeful Anna Tunnicliffe!"
Link1130: "Team America is screwed!"
DarkMaster: "Wait we can fix this! If we summon Dr. Mario maybe he can revive her!"
Link1130: "Yeah that sounds reasonable..."
4:18:15
Nursing a pounding headache, Dyne checks himself into Mercy Medical. Unfortunately the head trauma he experienced as a result of the blow causes him to confuse words. Instead of writing "I got hit on the head" on the information form he instead writes "A big mouse crawled up my anus."
4:26:42
The GCCC is a one-story complex on the edge of the city. It contains a wet bar, arcade games, and offices in the back. Bond and Typhoid are just arriving.
Bond: "Blackmane, standby to receive an upload from Neo. They found a laptop which may be connected to the terrorist threats. Get Stu to help you."
Blackmane: "Will do."
Blackmane opens up a new socket at his workstation and prepares to receive the upload.
Bond: "fingersman, have you heard from GameMaster concerning GameTavern's reconstruction?"
fingersman: "Last I heard he was working on it from Neo's home. After Neo miss-appropriated funds last year he ended up with the most powerful computer available so it was the best option given our time constraints."
Bond: "Okay well call him for an update. Listen up everyone! Today is going to be a very long day. Terrorists are trying to bring us down right when the gaming community needs us the most. They have already killed Dyne and brought our operations to a standstill. We have to find who they are and stop them before it's too late. E3 begins in a matter of hours and we must be there to report the revelations! I know you're all tired but I'm going to need the very best from each and every one of you!"
Blackmane: "HOO-HA!"
4:30:03
GameMaster is mildly surprised when his cell rings.
GameMaster: "Hark! I hear yonder angel calling my name. It's voice is sweet syrupy marmalade goodness which refreshes and virginizes my humble soul."
GameMaster(answering the phone): "Hello! You are a young errand boy here to collect a bill!"
fingersman: "No, this is fingersman. You've been pill-popping again, haven't you?"
GameMaster: "Maybe."
fingersman: "Stay there, we'll send Typhoid to pick you up."
GameMaster: "Yes sir, Captain sir!"
4:35:40
DarkMaster and Link1130 arrive at the power station along with Olympic hopeful Anna Tunnicliffe's lifeless body.
Link1130: "How can Dr Mario possibly help her? The entire left side of her face is caved in!"
DarkMaster(angerly): "How dare you? Do not question the abilities of mighty Dr. Mario. He killed a giant turtle. Several times. Come on let's get setup."
4:40:30
Bond(on phone with Neo): "Okay we received the transmission, it'll take about 15 min to analyze the data."
Neo: "Okay good."
Neo(in background): "Get away from me Happydude, you smell like a turd."
4:45:52
Typhoid touches down at GameMaster's location to witness him chasing a squirrel.
GameMaster: "Come back young Luke, your training is not yet complete!"
Typhoid: "GameMaster, let's go! How far did you get with GameTavern?"
GameMaster: "Oh I mostly finished, and I password protected the files on the server. But you won't get the key from me, no sireee! Hey that rhymes! HAHAHAHA!"
Typhoid: "Mother of God...."
4:52:00
After several minutes of waiting, a nurse finally escorts Dyne to the emergency room where he is prepped for examination.
Nurse: "It says here that you have a large rodent in your rectum, is that correct?"
Dyne(barely coherent): "Huh? I just know it really hurts."
Nurse: "Don't worry, we have the best proctologist this side of the Mississippi!"
Dyne: "Proc-what?"
4:59:30
Bond(on phone with Neo): "Okay we have the results of the laptop analysis."
Neo: "Go ahead."
Bond: "Well there was nothing suspicious until we looked at the ICQ records. One of numbers was 137599253. Neo, that's one of Crash's IDs."
Neo: "My God."
Bond: "We don't know yet if that's the ID of the primary user or just one of the contacts."
Neo: "Do everything you can to find out. We're running out of time."
4:59:57
.
.
.
4:59:58
.
.
.
4:59:59
.
.
.
5:00:00