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Neo
01-27-2005, 05:12 PM
The following takes place between 3 AM and 4 AM on the day of the Electronic Entertainment Expo. Events occur in real time.

Today, terrorists are plotting to assassinate a GameTavern administrator. Myself and my staff have been targeted, and people I work with may be involved in both. I am GameTavern administrator Neo, and today is the longest day of my life.


3:02:34

Neo crouches behind a dumpster in the alley outside of the warehouse. He hears the sound of bullets impacting into the steel as well as the brick wall behind him. The hacker must have known they were on to him so he called for backup. Neo turns to his left to see ominub diving for cover next to him.

Neo: "How bad is it?"

ominub: "We lost dropCGCF and I saw Mushlafa take 3 rounds in the chest."

Neo: "Damn, how many did you hit?"

ominub: "I killed two of them, but one was just a homeless guy."

Neo: "...."

ominub: "He was real old."

Neo: "Oh, okay. Listen, I have to catch the person responsible for hacking GameTavern before he gets away. Cover me!"

As ominub lets loose with twin magnums Neo dives through an open window. He examines his immediate surroundings then executes a brief search of the complex. He locates an empty work station setup with some impressive-looking technology. A bowl of steaming raman noodles sitting atop the desk indicates someone was recently here. ominub appears behind him, along with Happydude and Ace195 who together are carrying a pitiful-looking Joeiss.

Neo: "My God, where did Joeiss get shot? He's bleeding from the eyes!"

Ace195: "Oh he wasn't shot, he has ebola."

Neo: "Oh, okaWHAAA!?"

Ace195: "Yeah isn't that weird? Don't worry he's not contagious anymore."

Neo: "Why did he even come?"

Ace195: "He's a trooper."

ominub: "Dyne didn't make it. He must have been the admin they were after..."

A loud CLANG from the back of the warehouse interrupts them.

Neo: "This way!"

They leave Joeiss behind since he already has one foot in the grave and take off in the direction of the noise. They come to an exit leading to the street behind the warehouse. A manhole lies on the sidewalk in front of them with its lid ajar.

ominub: "He must have escaped down the sewer!"

Happydude: "Oh man, it stinks down there man."

Neo: "Well we can't stay here, the gunmen are right behind us."

Happydude: "Oh man. We're in some real pretty **** now man. What are we gunna do huh? What are we gunna do?"

Neo: "Come on let's go find this guy! It's what Dyne would have wanted."

Happydude: "Oh man..."

3:18:59

Typhoid, Bond, Link1130 and Darkmaster touch down in the GameTavern helicopter on a pier at Lake Hinkle. In order to make sure Link's now-faded toon corpse sinks all the way to the bottom, they will have to soak him in cement. Fortunately Typhoid carries a bag on board for just such an occasion. After forming a nice mixture they pour the concrete into a barrel and dump Link's body inside. Next they seal the lid on tight and roll the barrel of the end of the pier. kerSPLASH!

Typhoid: "Well that was easy enough."

Darkmaster: "Destroying evidence is cool."

Bond: "We should do this more often."

Link1130: "Yeah we can't give up after one failed experiment. We have to find a suitable energy source to power our equipment so we can try again."

Typhoid: "There's a power station on the other side of the lake with minimal security. I used to break in there all the time. You'll have to reach it by boat though. There's no place we can land."

Bond: "Okay, Link1130 and Darkmaster will take a boat to the power station and attempt to summon more video game characters. Typhoid and I will head back to the GameTavern Central Command Center (GCCC).

Link1130: "Come on DarkMaster, let's go find a boat to 'borrow'."

DarkMaster: "Sweet"

3:36:24

Doped up on caffeine pills and Jack Daniels, GameMaster mistakes the front door for a golden entrance to a chocolate fantasy land filled with cotton candy and gum drops. Leaving the reconstruction of GameTavern behind, he heads outside and down the street which to him looks like a roadway full of cherry's jubilee.

GameMaster: "a-WOO-HOO! Hey everybody! Check this out! The dirt is made of peanut butter! It tastes GOOD!"

The only onlooker is a stray cat which promptly retreats in fear.

3:39:38

Dyne opens his eyes and rubs them gingerly. He must have hit his head on something and knocked himself out. He strains to remember what happened but finds he cannot. What's more, he can't remember who he is or how he got here!

Dyne: "I can't remember my own name. Too bad this isn't a story so I could just look at the script to see who's name is attached to this line."

He decides he better find a hoslatip or whatever those places are called that heal you. He is distracted by a gurgling sound next to him. Mushlafa is holding his hands over a sucking chest wound. He tries to form words but more blood comes out of his mouth than sound.

Mushlafa: "Dy- Dyn- ..."

Dyne: "Yes I know you're dying. Can you tell me who I am?"

Mushlafa: "Dyyn-..."

Dyne: "I said I know you're dying! I just asked you a simple question. Can't you think of anyone besides yourself? Jesus. "

With a groan Mushlafa passes on into that great abyss.

Dyne: "F#ck. Oh well, I guess it's on to the hoslatip."


3:47:02

Underneath the streets Neo proceeds cautiously on the walkway beside a river of liquid waste. He is followed by Ace195, Happydude, and ominub.

Happydude: "Oh man. Four more weeks and out."

ominub: "What the hell are you talking about?"

Neo: "Happydude has this thing where he only speaks in quotes from the hit 1986 movie 'Aliens' starring Sigourney Weaver."

Happydude: "We're in the pipe, five by five."

Neo: "See what I mean?"

After walking for another minute or so they come across a catwalk leading to a closed door.

Neo: "I need a volunteer to go open that door."

Happydude: "No way not me, man. You can count me out."

Ace195: "I'll check it out."

Ace195 proceeds across the catwalk, wary of the waste flowing beneath. He flings open the door to discover an empty room.
The others join him in the room and examine the only item present, a laptop.

Neo: "Let's take this with us and see if there's anything useful on it."

Just then they hear the sound of an engine starting up. They glance out to see a swamp boat taking off down an adjacent corridor.

Neo: "That's him! Shoot him!"

They fire their weapons after the craft. During the commotion Happydude slips and plunges into the waste.

Happydude: "This can't be happening man, this can't be happening!"

ominub: "Happydude, hang on!"

They frantically search for something they can use to pull Happydude to safety. They know they have precious seconds as Happydude's lungs are already filling up with urine and liquid sh#t.

3:59:57
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4:00:00

Typhoid
01-27-2005, 05:29 PM
Never stop making these.

They're really entertaining.

ominub
01-27-2005, 05:42 PM
lmao these are funny, lol keep it up :)

Neo
01-27-2005, 05:56 PM
heh, I just realized today is Mushlafa's birthday.


WHOOPS.

GameMaster
01-27-2005, 06:03 PM
Candy! Candy! Everywhere! :crazy:

Happydude
01-27-2005, 06:34 PM
OH MAN!!! NEO! YOU BASTARD!!!! I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ALIENS!...GRRRR!



but keep writing :p


and make sure i don't die :p

ulala06
01-27-2005, 06:40 PM
*cracksup*

Dyne
01-27-2005, 08:04 PM
My part = the best

dropCGCF
01-27-2005, 08:39 PM
I died?

jeepnut
01-27-2005, 08:59 PM
I died?

Looks like it.

I won't be dying though. My only purpose in this story was to lend my girlfriend. :D

Su-Yin
01-27-2005, 09:03 PM
good stuff :lol:

fingersman
01-27-2005, 09:15 PM
OH MAN!!! NEO! YOU BASTARD!!!! I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ALIENS!...GRRRR!



*points at happydude and laughs*

Good stuff Neo. I really enjoy these threads :D

DimHalo
01-28-2005, 12:21 AM
Looks like it.

I won't be dying though. My only purpose in this story was to lend my girlfriend. :D


Stop whining... I'm not even a part of the story anymore.

jeepnut
01-28-2005, 12:54 AM
Oh, you're there somewhere. Still choking in the sewer probably.

Blackmane
01-28-2005, 02:41 AM
At least your choking is s***. I got nothing...

/me holds out that he is the terrorist

fingersman
01-28-2005, 06:37 AM
Stop whining... I'm not even a part of the story anymore.


Maybe your the person that saves Happydude by letting him stand up your back. :D Of course that would mean that you would be sucking in a whole lotta crap.......but hey you can't think about yourself all the time. ;) hehehhe

Perfect Stu
01-28-2005, 08:59 AM
and the plot thickens...

who is this mystery person on the swamp boat?

and why is that black woman working as an insider for the terrorists?!?!?!?!?!?

http://www.aftonbladet.se/noje/0302/27/24-152572-269761.jpg

Neo
01-28-2005, 09:02 AM
I died?

Nothing personal. :p

Fox 6
01-28-2005, 12:00 PM
These are great.

TheSlyMoogle
01-28-2005, 12:11 PM
I've got this strange feeling I'll never be in one of these. Lol.