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Dylflon
01-22-2005, 02:10 PM
This isn't inspired by anything. I just felt like writing.

With heavy steps I mustered all my courage.
A question standing at the tip of my tongue
like a child on a diving board reluctant to jump.
My movements felt forced as I was pulled to the ground
by the gravity of my foreboding thoughts.
I inched closer as the girl’s friends dispersed.
The girl had been all I thought about that day.
She was the center of the universe in my mind.
Nervously I approached her and her eyes met mine.
Shyly I glanced away as my cheeks turned red
and my legs turned to rubber.
Fear took over my mind.
A million outcomes played through my head
none of which were favorable.
But the naive part of my brain gained control
urging me to look to hope.
Feeling so naked
I formed the thoughts
that had for so long lingered in my mind
into words that came out in a jumble
leaving me feeling even more naked than before.
For a few seconds that lasted an eternity
she stared at me with her eyes that penetrated my soul.
She inhaled a long breath into her wicked lungs
and with the cruelest notes she laughed out loud
and got into a black Dodge parked behind her.
The jock at t[he wheel flashed a mocking grin
and flicked his cigarette butt out the window.
The embers of the lit cigarette
hit the pavement in front of my feet
flashed into sparks
and flew at me fading into nothingness
on the toes of my sneakers.
The car sped off and closely following it
was a gust of cold wind which chilled me
in my most lonely and vulnerable moment
adding insult to injury.
Hurt and defeated
I turned around to make my way home.
I kicked at the ground
turning up earth with each step.
With clenched fists and gritted teeth
I grumbled to myself
“Guys without cars don’t get laid”.

GameMaster
01-22-2005, 02:36 PM
I like it. I felt really sorry for the narrator. The poem had a fluid motion and great descriptions.

Typhoid
01-22-2005, 03:23 PM
Its good....but its really cliché with the whole "Jock" thing.

But its still good.


(Not as good as anything I write though...Mwahahaha :p )

KillerGremlin
01-22-2005, 07:57 PM
I'm going to prove you wrong!

I still got a few months till I get that new car......

Ginkasa
01-22-2005, 10:09 PM
Isn't the average age kids are having sex these days 12 or 13? They certainly don't have cars...


/me shrugs and walks away

Jason1
01-22-2005, 10:49 PM
Isn't the average age kids are having sex these days 12 or 13? They certainly don't have cars...


* Link1130 shrugs and walks away

I hope not...

god, I seirously, seirously hope not....

BlueFire
01-23-2005, 12:59 AM
I hope not...

god, I seirously, seirously hope not....
I wouldn't doubt it.

KillerGremlin
01-23-2005, 01:56 AM
Try 16-17.....

Were did you get the 12 to 13 from?

GameMaster
01-23-2005, 02:03 AM
Has anyone here lost their purity?

Stray_Bullet
01-23-2005, 02:19 AM
The narrator didn't get any for more reasons than simply lacking a car.

KillerGremlin
01-23-2005, 03:25 AM
Has anyone here lost their purity?

Make a thread with a poll if you want to get to the bottom of that one.

Dylflon
01-23-2005, 03:34 AM
Haha. My title isn't a thesis statement.

I guess nobody else picked up on it (except Stray), but the fact that he blames his misfortunes on the lack of a car was supposed to be funny. There's obviously something much more wrong with him.

Sorry for the confusion.

Solid Snake
02-05-2005, 04:35 PM
I like the poem.

You would be suprised of the differnce a car makes. I had a friend in high school who had been held back in the 3rd grade. So he became one of the only freshmen guys that had a car and could drive. It was instant popularity.

BTW, what kind of cars do you guys drive, if you drive?

As for me:
1998 Honda Prelude
2.2 L VTEC
195 Hp
(Have plans to install turbo if I ever get the money)

dropCGCF
02-05-2005, 04:43 PM
A Black Nissan 240 SX.

Typhoid
02-05-2005, 10:47 PM
I dont have my L yet, but when I do my dad is giving me the (I think its the right year) '89 Red Suburban with a Canopy.


Hooray for Automatic.

Teuthida
02-05-2005, 11:47 PM
I take the train. What does it say about guys who take the train?