Neo
01-14-2005, 10:11 AM
The following takes place between 2AM and 3AM on the day of the Electronic Entertainment Expo. Events occur in real time.
Today, terrorists are plotting to assassinate a GameTavern administrator. Myself and my staff have been targeted, and people I work with may be involved in both. I am GameTavern administrator Neo, and today is the longest day of my life.
2:00:22
Neo: "Did the backup finish in time?"
GameMaster: (checking) "Yes, it did. We got everything!"
Neo: "Thank god. I guess I can let you live then, eh?"
GameMaster: "heh, right...." (nervous laughter)
GameMaster (breaking the awkward silence): "I did notice something interesting while piping the network."
Neo: "What's that?"
GameMaster: "It's an interconnected series of computer systems, but that's not important right now."
Neo: "Dick."
GameMaster: "I found some router code positioned on the primary server node."
Neo: "Oh yeah, I think Dylflon was working on some new security measure before he disappeared in the Congo."
GameMaster: "Yeah that was weird, wasn't it?"
Neo: "Yeah... Anyway I think one of it's functions is to log IP protocols. Do you think we could use it to trace the source of the attacks."
GameMaster: "Maybe, but it will take some time."
Neo: "Well then you better get started."
GameMaster: "I need no-doze pills if I'm going to stay awake."
Neo: "Well Dyne's not doing anything, I'll ask him to go to the drug store."
02:01:03
Deep within the dank sewer tunnel, jeepnut's slave yells back to the group waiting on the street above.
jeepnut's slave: "Hey guys! It's really smelly down here...I don't think Link came this way....Oh gross I just stepped on something turd-like....Can I come up now?"
Bond's voice echos back to her:
Bond: "No! Keep looking! There's still lots more sewer."
Typhoid: "Hey guys I just heard an annoucement on my police scanner. A 911 call was placed a few minutes ago from the 24-hour Krispy Kreme. A van full of druggies crashed through the dining area. One of the occupants was described as a "ass-fingering florescent midget."
Link1130: "That must be Link! We've got to hurry there before the police show up!"
DarkMaster: "What about jeepnut's slave, shouldn't we tell her we're leaving?"
Bond: "Na, let's leave her. Who knows, she might like it down there."
The four of them then pile into the GT chopper and head for the Krispy Kreme.
02:10:18
Dyne arrives at the local drugstore which is less than a block from his house. He peruses the wide selection of pharmacuiticles before locating the No-Doze. He read somewhere that alcohol and sleeping pills go great together, so he also picks up a bottle of Jack Daniels. Fortunately he's in good with the store owner and can purchase it despite being underage. It occurs to him that he should probably not be out and about since he could be the administrator the terrorists have targeted. This knowledge makes him uneasy, and he hurries to complete his purchases.
As he is about to leave he hears a loud BOOM from the back of the store. The sudden noise causes Dyne's heart to miss a beat. He whirls around and sees blood spraying in all directions - on the ceiling, on the packages of hostess twinkies, and on him.
Some of the spray gets in his mouth and he notices it doesn't taste at all like blood. Rather it tastes sugary and cherry-like. He then realizes that it's not blood he is covered in but cheery slurpee. The Slurpee machine had exploded!
Store owner: "You, you did this!"
Dyne: "What?? You know me, I don't even like slurpees."
Store owner: "Precisely why you would want to destroy it!"
Dyne: "You crazy old man. I don't have time for this."
Dyne then bolts out the door with the store owner screaming after him.
02:23:51
GameMaster: "There I got it! The attacks originated from 555 Sterling Ave."
Neo: "Great work, GM."
GameMaster: "Should we call the police?"
Neo: "No, they'll only get in the way. We're going to handle this GameTavern style. I'm calling for backup. GameMaster, unload the weapons cabinet!"
02:25:04
Ace195 sits on his couch while munching on crackerjacks. The only light present in the room is the soft flicker of descrambled porn emanating from his television set.
Ace195: "Mmm yeah, do her right. That's good, reach for the plunger now."
(phone rings - it's Neo)
Ace195: "Hey what's up.....No I wasn't watching porn again....what's that?.....GameTavern's been attacked?.....we're going after them?.....sweet, I'll call the others and meet you there."
Ace195 (turns to the TV): "And I'll see you later, Fantasia Freida."
2:27:52
Confident that he had eluded the irate store owner, Dyne entered Neo's crib to find him and GameMaster laying out some major heat. The arsenal includes cluster bombs, civilian M4s, personal antitank mines, 12 gauge shotguns, and a dozen or so hand guns.
After making their selections, Neo and Dyne headed for the address the computer had provided while GameMaster popped a few No-Doze and worked to get GameTavern back online.
2:38:17
Typhoid, Link1130, Bond, and DarkMaster touchdown in the GameTavern helicopter in the parking lot across from the ravaged Krispy Kreme. Upon entering the debris they found 3 dead to near-dead potheads along with a couple injured Krispy Kreme employees.
In a pile of smashed donuts and delicious creme filling they find Link. Even though he appeared to have survived the crash, his need for those scrumtious Krispy Kreme donuts resulted in death from over-eating. His bloated cartoon stomach was no match for the two dozen chocolate iced glazed crullers he had consumed.
DarkMaster and Typhoid drag the body back to the chopper and depart moments before the police and EMS arrive.
2:49:45
Neo and Dyne arrive at the address where they meet up with dropCGCF, Ace195, ominub, Happydude, Mushlafa, and Joeiss. Neo quickly goes over the plan to invade the warehouse and capture whomever is responsible for the attacks. Anyone who gets in the way is expendible. GameTavern must be protected at all costs.
They each grab a weapon and take up positions around the perimeter of the building. Neo activated his head set radio and is about to give the signal to attack when gunfire rings out from across the street.
ominub: "It's an ambush!"
Neo: "Everyone take cover!"
Neo hears a loud scream followed by a gurgling noise over his headset.
Neo: "Who's been hit? Everyone sound off!"
Crinkly static is the only response.
2:59:57
.
.
.
2:59:58
.
.
.
2:59:59
.
.
.
3:00:00
Today, terrorists are plotting to assassinate a GameTavern administrator. Myself and my staff have been targeted, and people I work with may be involved in both. I am GameTavern administrator Neo, and today is the longest day of my life.
2:00:22
Neo: "Did the backup finish in time?"
GameMaster: (checking) "Yes, it did. We got everything!"
Neo: "Thank god. I guess I can let you live then, eh?"
GameMaster: "heh, right...." (nervous laughter)
GameMaster (breaking the awkward silence): "I did notice something interesting while piping the network."
Neo: "What's that?"
GameMaster: "It's an interconnected series of computer systems, but that's not important right now."
Neo: "Dick."
GameMaster: "I found some router code positioned on the primary server node."
Neo: "Oh yeah, I think Dylflon was working on some new security measure before he disappeared in the Congo."
GameMaster: "Yeah that was weird, wasn't it?"
Neo: "Yeah... Anyway I think one of it's functions is to log IP protocols. Do you think we could use it to trace the source of the attacks."
GameMaster: "Maybe, but it will take some time."
Neo: "Well then you better get started."
GameMaster: "I need no-doze pills if I'm going to stay awake."
Neo: "Well Dyne's not doing anything, I'll ask him to go to the drug store."
02:01:03
Deep within the dank sewer tunnel, jeepnut's slave yells back to the group waiting on the street above.
jeepnut's slave: "Hey guys! It's really smelly down here...I don't think Link came this way....Oh gross I just stepped on something turd-like....Can I come up now?"
Bond's voice echos back to her:
Bond: "No! Keep looking! There's still lots more sewer."
Typhoid: "Hey guys I just heard an annoucement on my police scanner. A 911 call was placed a few minutes ago from the 24-hour Krispy Kreme. A van full of druggies crashed through the dining area. One of the occupants was described as a "ass-fingering florescent midget."
Link1130: "That must be Link! We've got to hurry there before the police show up!"
DarkMaster: "What about jeepnut's slave, shouldn't we tell her we're leaving?"
Bond: "Na, let's leave her. Who knows, she might like it down there."
The four of them then pile into the GT chopper and head for the Krispy Kreme.
02:10:18
Dyne arrives at the local drugstore which is less than a block from his house. He peruses the wide selection of pharmacuiticles before locating the No-Doze. He read somewhere that alcohol and sleeping pills go great together, so he also picks up a bottle of Jack Daniels. Fortunately he's in good with the store owner and can purchase it despite being underage. It occurs to him that he should probably not be out and about since he could be the administrator the terrorists have targeted. This knowledge makes him uneasy, and he hurries to complete his purchases.
As he is about to leave he hears a loud BOOM from the back of the store. The sudden noise causes Dyne's heart to miss a beat. He whirls around and sees blood spraying in all directions - on the ceiling, on the packages of hostess twinkies, and on him.
Some of the spray gets in his mouth and he notices it doesn't taste at all like blood. Rather it tastes sugary and cherry-like. He then realizes that it's not blood he is covered in but cheery slurpee. The Slurpee machine had exploded!
Store owner: "You, you did this!"
Dyne: "What?? You know me, I don't even like slurpees."
Store owner: "Precisely why you would want to destroy it!"
Dyne: "You crazy old man. I don't have time for this."
Dyne then bolts out the door with the store owner screaming after him.
02:23:51
GameMaster: "There I got it! The attacks originated from 555 Sterling Ave."
Neo: "Great work, GM."
GameMaster: "Should we call the police?"
Neo: "No, they'll only get in the way. We're going to handle this GameTavern style. I'm calling for backup. GameMaster, unload the weapons cabinet!"
02:25:04
Ace195 sits on his couch while munching on crackerjacks. The only light present in the room is the soft flicker of descrambled porn emanating from his television set.
Ace195: "Mmm yeah, do her right. That's good, reach for the plunger now."
(phone rings - it's Neo)
Ace195: "Hey what's up.....No I wasn't watching porn again....what's that?.....GameTavern's been attacked?.....we're going after them?.....sweet, I'll call the others and meet you there."
Ace195 (turns to the TV): "And I'll see you later, Fantasia Freida."
2:27:52
Confident that he had eluded the irate store owner, Dyne entered Neo's crib to find him and GameMaster laying out some major heat. The arsenal includes cluster bombs, civilian M4s, personal antitank mines, 12 gauge shotguns, and a dozen or so hand guns.
After making their selections, Neo and Dyne headed for the address the computer had provided while GameMaster popped a few No-Doze and worked to get GameTavern back online.
2:38:17
Typhoid, Link1130, Bond, and DarkMaster touchdown in the GameTavern helicopter in the parking lot across from the ravaged Krispy Kreme. Upon entering the debris they found 3 dead to near-dead potheads along with a couple injured Krispy Kreme employees.
In a pile of smashed donuts and delicious creme filling they find Link. Even though he appeared to have survived the crash, his need for those scrumtious Krispy Kreme donuts resulted in death from over-eating. His bloated cartoon stomach was no match for the two dozen chocolate iced glazed crullers he had consumed.
DarkMaster and Typhoid drag the body back to the chopper and depart moments before the police and EMS arrive.
2:49:45
Neo and Dyne arrive at the address where they meet up with dropCGCF, Ace195, ominub, Happydude, Mushlafa, and Joeiss. Neo quickly goes over the plan to invade the warehouse and capture whomever is responsible for the attacks. Anyone who gets in the way is expendible. GameTavern must be protected at all costs.
They each grab a weapon and take up positions around the perimeter of the building. Neo activated his head set radio and is about to give the signal to attack when gunfire rings out from across the street.
ominub: "It's an ambush!"
Neo: "Everyone take cover!"
Neo hears a loud scream followed by a gurgling noise over his headset.
Neo: "Who's been hit? Everyone sound off!"
Crinkly static is the only response.
2:59:57
.
.
.
2:59:58
.
.
.
2:59:59
.
.
.
3:00:00