I hate my father

[Canyarion]

My father cheated on my mother. She is such a sweet woman, even though she kinda expected it, she was on the phone crying...

For several years now, he didn't pay any attention to his family. He was just sitting in his office, 'working' all day, while in fact he was watching porn and chatting with girls.

He met a girl that was 20 years younger than him, they even had plans to live together! They met, slept and the next day she dumped him.

But he still wants to leave. He's tired of his wife, his family and his religion.

Well, I say good riddance. :mad:

Damn. :baby:

[ulala06]

i think most people hate their fathers, and usually for good reasons. maybe the next generation will be better?

[Dyne]

Aw man. Sorry to hear that.

It makes me appreciate my own father.

Hope your family can pull through it.

[Professor S]

I don't think most people hate their fathers at all. I think many have issues withn them and minor power struggles but hate is not a word I would use in retrospect.

But I'm sorry to hear about this Canyarion. If it helps at all, I think your dad is a spineless, morally corrupt, immature sack of ****.

[Canyarion]

Heh, thanks. :) We all have our ways of comforting eachother. ;)

Bah. :( I don't even want to see him next weekend when I'm going home....

And we will pull through...

[dropCGCF]

This happened to a close friend of mine. The situations are eerily similar. I feel for you, man. Stay strong.

[Typhoid]

Well that just plain sucks man. :(

[Yan]

Hey... just hang in there, alright? Things happen and if you can't do anything about it, just get on with it. I know I am sounding harsh and if I do, please let me apologise.

This is gonna come out sounding like a huge cliche but stay stong for you mom. There's nothing worse for a woman than to watch her own marriage dissolve regardless of it being expected or not.

Better stop now before I turn this into my own Aunt Agony section. I wish you and your family all the best.

BTW, is swearing tolerated in this forum? I just got censored so I was wondering...

[Neo]

When I was in 8th grade my mom found out that my dad had been having an affair for the past 3 years. Yeah not the best of times.

[Vampyr]

i think most people hate their fathers, and usually for good reasons. maybe the next generation will be better?

I'm going to pretend I didn't just read that. I love my dad.

And I'm very sorry to hear that Cany. :( Things will work out in the end though. They always do.

[Jonbo298]

Sorry to hear

[Dyne]

BTW, is swearing tolerated in this forum? I just got censored so I was wondering...

Just the Strudels and Fudgecakes.

[GameMaster]

Sorry Canyarion, it seems like you're handling it well though, even though you're sad and angry you're maintaining yourself in a good manner or so it seems. Keep an eye on your brother and mom also and make sure they remain healthy about how they deal with the announcement. Maybe spend a little more time with them for the next couple of weeks.

[ulala06]

sorry i made such a sweeping generalization, apparently it offended people. anyway, all i'm saying is that most of the people that i know(excluding vampyr OBVIOUSLY) hate and/or dislike and/or go through a period of hating/disliking their fathers. while your father did a terrible thing, keep in mind it could be worse. i hope you and your family pull through it though.

[Acebot44]

I'm sorry to hear about this Cany :(

My dad cheated one my mom for a few years when I was growing up and they separated for a while. Ever since then, it hasnt felt like I've had two parents, just a mom and a dad. They don't have much love towards each other and stayed together just for the sake of my brother and I. It's safe to say that they'll split after I'm off to college, but I still love them both.

[Perfect Stu]

i've fought my dad. verbally, and physically. we've had a couple fist fights. sometimes I just cant stand him.

but I love my dad. he's my pal, he's the kinda person I hope to be.


Cany,

your dad did something that I think is sickening
he bailed on his family

now, I know things can get very difficult between human beings. VERY difficult. I've been to hell and back a couple times with some of the closest people in my life, but I never once quit no matter how much the thought of it tempted me.

I realize that it is NOT an option. every single one of us can deal with the trials that face us. thats a fact, it's not an optimistic opinion, im not even an optimistic person. but I know that with the right mindset, nothing can stop me from jumping the next hurdle.

it's a shame that your dad bailed...he's a coward in the worst sense of the word

[KillerGremlin]

My only advice for you is to focus on school and make sure you can get the hell out of that house as soon as you graduate. The things that your parents are putting you through are not your fault, so you should not be taking this personally. I can't understand how you must feel, but try to focus on the positive things in life, and then try to overcome this situation. If your dad is a douche, then let him be a douche. Go make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, come back and help support your mom, and let your dad f*ck himself.

On the subject of swearing, one disapointing thing about our modern day society is the fact that saying the word n-word in its whole is not tolerable, but writing ni**er or bleeping out the first half of the word is. Everyone knows what the person means to say, so why bother destroying the first amendment in the first place? I hate edited CDs, especially the ones that just take out the letter "i" in the s-word, like so: Sh*t!, and then bleep out half the word in the song.

Yeah, no way! NO ONE IS GONNA BE ABLE TO USE THE POWER OF DEDUCTION TO FIGURE THAT ONE OUT.

I don't even see why people bother to edit words with missing characters and bleeps. The only people I could possibly see it pleasing is the ones lacking of self-thought.

[Canyarion]

Thanks guys.

Stu, if suicide is what you mean: no way, I'm not that weak.

And KG, I already moved out 2 years ago. But my brother and 2 sisters still live there. My poor sisters... :(

Yesterday I just went on with my life, I went to some friends, we talked a bit about it. They were nice.
I called my girl as soon as I knew and she called me back later. My mother called HER mother to talk about it...

We'll be alright. For me, this is just another lesson: Don't watch porn, be happy with your wife. Cause that's what started it with my father, I know it. :unsure:

[Su-Yin]

sorry to hear canya.... :(
sigh* i guess everyone has issues with their parents...nomatter how perfect a family may look from the outside...behind all that there are always imperfections....sometimes big ones which scar you for life....everyone wishes for a dad like mine....and im running as far as i can...as soon as i can...*shrug*....dont worry canya....your family loves each other *exculding ur dad*...u guys dont need a ***got for a father ...:)

[fingersman]

Sorry to hear that Cany, I don't think anyone should have to go through that sort of rejection by their father, but these things happen. So with that being said I only have one bit of advice for you when it comes to your Dad. Forgive him!!! It is one of the most selfish things you can do for yourself at this point
Wait now hold it, before someone flames and seeks to bash my head in, give me a minute and let me explain.

You see I know how you feel, you could say I had a lot of resentment and hatred for my Dad (various reasons) and everytime I saw him, this resentment/hatred always use to surface alhtough I use to hide and pretend everything was cool ( btw I live with my dad so it made it sorta tough for me). Hating someone takes up alot of time and enegry and it has the potential to leave you bitter and sometimes it even makes you into the same person you hate (like it almost did to me).

Did your father do something wrong?
Yes!!
Does it hurt?
Yup.
Did you deserve it?
No.
And I'm telling you if you don't let it go (forgive him for what he's done) your going to grow up with that hurt and resentment and it may even affect your family.

Now forgiving your father is not going to be easy, I mean let's be realistic you probadly feel like beating the guy's ass right about now ( I would feel the same way too), it will take time, but in the end it's worth it. :D



Oh yeah cany if you wanna talk about it some more, I'm on msn messenger.

[Perfect Stu]

Stu, if suicide is what you mean: no way, I'm not that weak.

never for a second did I mean suicide

what I meant by giving up is what your father is doing right now. giving up, quitting, walking away, hiding from his problems. quitting often seems to be the easiest solution, but it's not even a solution, it's a problem in itself.

[Canyarion]

Ah ok then. I already thought your reaction was a bit exaggerated, but now I understand it.

And Fingers, like I chatted to you.... I won't let hate consume me. Some form of forgiving is necessary. Thanks. :)

[bobcat]

ah poor thing. I don't know how that must be on your parents, and on you.

Are your parents still together?

[Canyarion]

Yeah at the moment yes. My mom said something about him leaving after the winter. :confused: I'd kick him out ASAP, but whatever.

[Canyarion]

Ok the bastard packed the car full with stuff and left yesterday. It looks like he's not coming back. He said he'll see my mother at the lawyer.

The fool cut our internet cable the day before yesterday. He was arguing with us and he couldn't handle it how we pwn3d him, so he THOUGHT he made sure we didn't have internet. He locked his office where the internet hub is.
I bought a new cable today and connected it to the modem (before the hub) which isn't in his office. :D

He really has gone crazy. He's..... lost his mind. When he cut the cable, things were so bad that I tried to call the police. But he pulled the plug of the phone, so we couldn't call.
I went to a brother and rang them from there. But they told me that the police can't do anything unless there's real violence involved.

But anyway, he left yesterday and we're happy.

Of course it's terrible for my mom to lose her buddy of life. :(

[Happydude]

well...that sucks...kinda.... i guess lol...anyway, i hope your family will pass through these troubling times and everything turns out well in the end :)


on the other hand...i wish my dad would just pack up and go...eh...whatever.

[Ace195]

Angrist, man I'm sorry, I went through a divorce like that when I was 13, All I can say is it's going to be hard no matter how much you hate the one who did it.. My mom did it to my dad and for 3 years I wouldn't speak to her.. Now I talk to her and it's hard making up the time lost. I understand it's hard, but don't let a grudge live forever. You mother may hate your father, and you will to for a while just remember that people are only human, and sometimes the love is just gone.


Take care friend.

[dropCGCF]

I went through a divorce like that when I was 13, All I can say is it's going to be hard no matter how much you hate the one who did it..


Divorce seems tough at the time, but you get through it.

[Canyarion]

I don't know... I can't imagine how my dad could ever have 1 positive effect on us. Anyway, thanks for the support. :)